Page 44 of The Master

“She lost her way.” Mom’s voice shook. “Can’t you understand that? You’ve forgiven other people for a lot. Why can’t you do the same for Mona?”

She didn’t say his name, but I knew she was talking about Nate. She was right about that. I had forgiven him a lot, but it wasn’t the same. The fact that she’d use what had happened between Nate and me was the final straw.

“That’s not a fair comparison, and you know it.” All the emotion had left my voice flat. “She hurt you, and I hated her for that, but what she did to me…” Tears rushed to the surface, but I refused to let them take hold. Forcing them back, I went on. “For thirteen years, I thought she loved me, that I was her daughter, and then she left without a word. No calls or cards. Nothing. As if I meant less to her than the possessions she’d taken with her. I can’t ever forgive that.”

“Ash–”

I ignored her and turned to Nate. “Take me home. I’m done here.”

Twenty-Nine

Nate

My head was still spinningas I followed Ashlee to the car. I’d thought I was prepared for whatever Roberta had in store for us, but I could honestly say that I hadn’t seen any of that coming. Not the return of Ashlee’s mother – other mother? Ex-mother?

Roberta’s ex.

Mona coming back to the city was crazy enough, but her having some sort of fatal illness and wanting to make peace with the family she’d abandoned…I was definitely notthatimaginative.

I didn’t say anything as I pulled away from the house. I wasn’t sure if Ashlee wanted to talk right now or if she was still processing everything, so I focused on driving, trusting that she’d speak up if and when she was ready. I hated being helpless to do anything. All the money I had and the only thing I could offer was the ability to buy Mona off if that was what she was really after.

I knew it wasn’t only the thought of Mona that had Ashlee so upset, though. Ashlee and Roberta weren’t used to arguing. I doubted they’d disagreed about much over the years, and certainly never to this extent. I’d been alone a lot, but it was my own fault – most of it at least. Ashlee and Roberta hadn’t been left alone by their own choice. Not with Roberta’s family or with Mona. The people they’d loved had left them, and now one of them had come back, and it was tearing them apart.

“I don’t want to go home yet,” Ashlee said finally. “I can’t be cooped up inside your place or mine. I need to be somewhere new. Look at something new.”

One place automatically came to mind, a person we could both trust. “I know where we can go.”

I moved into the other lane. Ashlee had come to Manhattan Records because she’d been afraid that losing her mother would make her an orphan. Now she needed that familial connection, even if it was still new.

“Where is that?”

“Finley’s,” I said. “He only does half-days of work on Tuesdays and Thursdays, unless he has something specific to do.”

“We shouldn’t impose,” she protested. “He doesn’t need to deal with this shit.”

I reached over and took her hand. “Trust me, this is exactly the sort of shit he wants to know about.”

“Nate.”

“Okay, so maybe you don’t want to discuss everything with him, but he’ll be a good listener, no matter what you want to say, and he’s a safe place. No paparazzi will get into his house, and he’ll let us stay as long as we want.”

She nodded, but I wondered if she was really even listening to me. She was staring out the window, but her eyes were glazed over, and I wished I could see what was going on in her head. What she was thinking, what she wanted me to do.

Finley lived in the house where he’d grown up, a nice one in a good neighborhood, though not as good as what he could afford with what he had now. Since he was single and didn’t have kids – well, aside from Ashlee – he didn’t need even a home that spacious but having a big place in the city was generally more about status than it was use.

Fortunately, his place was also on Staten Island, so it was actually a shorter drive to get to his house than it was to get back to mine. I pulled into his driveway only a few minutes after deciding that was where we were going.

“Is this where Finley grew up?” she asked. “He was this close to me all this time?”

I wondered if she was thinking about how much better it would’ve been for her to have known her father when her mother had been fighting cancer years earlier. He would’ve taken care of both of them, I knew. Not just financially, but in every way they would have needed. I also couldn’t help but think that Mona’s leaving wouldn’t have hit Ashlee so hard if she’d had Finley in her life back then.

I rang the doorbell and looked up at the security camera over the front door. I’d always thought he was crazy, not living in a gated community or anywhere with a large measure of security, for that matter. Now, I was starting to think he knew what he was doing after all. The street was quiet, and not a single reporter was anywhere to be seen. Then again, Finley wasn’t in the public eye as often as I was. Maybe I needed to think less about moving and more about staying out of the limelight.

“Nate?” Finley said my name as he opened the door and then saw Ashlee next to me. “Ashlee? Are you okay?” He gestured for us to come inside.

“We needed to get out of the house for a while,” I said, giving Finley the bit of information I felt comfortable sharing. If Ashlee wanted him to know more, she’d tell him herself. That part wasn’t my story to share.

“Take a seat. Can I get either of you anything?”

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