Page 7 of The Master

Finley’s eyes narrowed at my question. “Nothing, and that’s the problem. Ashlee talks to her mom all the time and tells her everything. Roberta said Ashlee hasn’t mentioned you this entire week. That’s why she called me, to ask if I knew what was going on.”

I sighed and leaned back in my chair. “Look, if Roberta has an issue with what Ashlee has or hasn’t said, then it’s between them. I get that you have this whole ‘father’ thing going on with her, but quite frankly, jacking off into a cup doesn’t give you the right to be in our business.”

“Watch yourself, Nate.” Finley’s voice had gone quiet, just above a whisper.

I knew that only happened when he was furious, but I kept going anyway.

“No, Finley, let’s put everything out there. How are you a father to her? Or to any of your other possible kids? How often did you think about the fact that you might have a kid – or more than one – out there? With all of the DNA testing done for family trees now, it’d be easy enough for you to connect with some of them. Find ones who might want you playing Dad. But you didn’t even give it a second thought until she told you where she’d come from. Don’t act like she was this long-lost daughter you’d been searching for her whole life.”

Finley’s hands curled into fists, and I remembered for the first time in a long time that while he might’ve been a little older than me, he was in excellent shape and might be able to kick my ass if it came down to it.

Still, I kept going, either unable or unwilling to stop the downward spiral. I didn’t know which reason was the truth.

“Better yet, go start a real family for yourself. Plenty of surrogates out there looking for a paycheck. At least you know your part of the procedure.” I made a crude hand gesture, and that was the tipping point.

“I know you have issues,” he said, his voice remaining even and quiet despite the anger I could feel radiating from him. “And I know you’re not my son, but I’m going to give you a piece of fatherly advice anyway. Get your head out of your ass and stop acting like a dick. If you’re not careful, you’re going to lose everyone.” He paused for a second and then added, “Even me.”

It was like someone had just punched me in the gut. All of the air rushed out of my lungs and my stomach twisted. Before I could call him back and apologize, he closed the door behind him, leaving me alone with all of the shit I’d just said to the one person who’d always had my back.

He’d found me when I’d been at my lowest point, and he’d held out a hand, no questions asked. He never judged me for the things I’d done or coddled me about the things I needed to change. When my own bullshit had separated me from my family, he’d been my older brother, looking out for me while still letting me fall on my face a time or two.

Even when he’d been angrier with me than I’d ever seen him, instead of yelling or cursing, he’d warned me about what I was going to lose if I didn’t change.

Fuck.

I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes as the enormity of what I’d done threatened to crush me. Not just to my closest friend, but to the woman I’d chosen to care for and protect.

Ashlee had come to mean more to me than any other woman I’d ever been with – even in the short time we’d been together – but I’d treated her more unfairly than any other. Those women had been given certain expectations, and I’d met every one of them. Any of them who’d say otherwise weren’t telling the whole truth about our time together. I’d told Ashlee what I was like, but then I’d promised that what we had would be different.

I needed to fix things, both with Ashlee and with Finley, before it was too late.

If it wasn’t already.

Six

Ashlee

Mom still hadn’t answeredmy text, but I didn’t know if she’d read it or not. The odds were that she had, but had decided not to answer me yet, but I didn’t want to nag her if she hadn’t read it yet.

Dammit.

I hated this indecisiveness. I wasn’t normally like this. I might’ve been fairly shy, but I’d always considered myself a strong person. I liked to think that most people saw me that way.

Except now that Nate had proven himself to be a different man than the one I’d believed him to be, I was plagued with self-doubt. Hence the indecision about what to do.

Fortunately, I’d been busy enough today that I’d rarely had time to be bothered by whatever it was my mom had going on. I’d hardly even thought about Nate either. There was something positive to be said for keeping busy.

I glanced at the clock and tried to decide if I was relieved that the day was almost done and I’d managed to get through it without seeing Nate, or anxious about spending the rest of my night worrying over whether or not my mom would answer me and what I would do when she did.

I let out a heavy sigh. I couldn’t even make that choice.

My phone rang, and for a moment, I thought it was my cell, and my mom was calling, but then I remembered that I had my personal phone on vibrate when I was at work, and my mom’s ringtone certainly wasn’t that obnoxious sound my office phone was making.

“Hello?” I winced at the annoyance in my voice and hoped that the person on the other end didn’t think I was normally so rude or had an issue with them.

After a brief pause, an entirely too familiar voice spoke. “Ashlee?”

Oh. It was him. He was allowed to think I had an issue with him.

---