Page 45 of A Billionaire Rebel

I sensed abutcoming.

She took a deep breath, as if she had to brace herself for what she was going to say next. “Hawk and I have been talking, and we’ve decided that we want to step back from music for a while. Maybe for good.”

It felt like a punch to the gut. “You’re both quitting?”

“We wanted to talk to you before we went to Z and Haje or even to Otis with this.”

A few moments of silence followed, stretched and thickened as I tried to slow my racing thoughts.

“There’s more, isn’t there?” I asked, certain I didn’t want to hear it, but equally certain that she needed to say everything she’d come here to say.

“We think we should dissolve Holden.”

And the hits kept coming.

“We can’t replace Bair. We all know that. And who knows how long it would be before Otis could play again, let alone travel.” She wiped at her eyes with a shaking hand. “If he even wants to. Hawk and I…it’s hard to get in a car. We both keep seeing it.”

I had my own share of survivor’s guilt for not having been with my friends, but I couldn’t imagine what the others were going through. Kalini had seen the accident, known while it was happening that her friends might not survive. And there’d been nothing she could have done to stop it.

Even though Hawk insisted that he didn’t remember the accident, other things I’d learned about the accident made me suspect that Hawk and Otis might’ve watched Bair die while waiting to be rescued. If that was the case, I hoped Hawk’s memories would never come back.

“It makes sense,” I said finally. I gave her a tight smile. “I hate the idea of losing you guys, but I get it.”

“You’re not losing us.” She reached out and squeezed my hand. “We’re not walking away frompeople. We just don’t think music is our life anymore. We’ve loved being a part of Holden, and we probably would’ve stayed in it for a couple years or more if nothing had happened, but I don’t think it ever would have been as hard for us to walk away as it would be for you.”

Without Holden, it wasn’t as if I had much of a choice about leaving music, but I wasn’t about to say any of that. I didn’t want Kalini to feel any guiltier than she clearly already did. None of this was her fault. If it was anyone’s fault, it was mine. I was the one who’d brought us all together.

“You shouldn’t, by the way.”

“I shouldn’t what?” I asked.

“Walk away from music,” she answered. “You should take this opportunity to change things.”

“Change things how?”

She smiled at me. “You should go solo.”

I blinked. “I should do what now?”

“Go solo.” She was grinning now. “You’re a gifted musician, Damon. You could do this on your own. You don’t need a band.”

I quickly steered the conversation elsewhere, not wanting to be rude and argue with her. I appreciated her vote of confidence and the compliment, but I knew she was wrong. The only thing that had made it possible for me to make music had been the four talented people I’d found. I couldn’t do it on my own. I just wasn’t good enough.

Twenty-Five

Jae

I hadn’t expectedto hear from Damon so soon after leaving his place yesterday morning, which meant I’d been honestly surprised last night when he’d called and asked me to go out with him this evening. Somewhere unique, he’d said. A favorite place he liked to go.

Even though I knew better than to read too much into it, my heart had given a leap. Him bringing me into his house had made me feel like he trusted me. Being at the memorial service with him had told me he wasn’t ashamed to be seen with me. But this was him specifically asking me out so he could take me somewhere that meant something to him.

I didn’t want to get my hopes up or have any expectations, but it was getting harder the longer I was around him. If I got hurt, I’d have no one to blame but myself.

That was a comfort, I supposed. Damon would always be the good man I knew him to be. I would just be the idiot who hadn’t listened to her head like the intelligent woman she was supposed to be.

Right now, however, I had another problem I needed to focus on.

I had no idea what I was supposed to wear, and Jamie wasn’t here to help me. I wanted to look nice, but my idea of nice and a billionaire musician’s idea of nice were probably not the same thing.

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