Page 26 of Dangers of Love

“Mostly the second one,” I admitted. “She’s a bit…naïve. No, not naïve. More like optimistic. She believes that she can change the world with enough hard work and compassion, and sometimes, that makes her not see how the world really is. I like that most of the time, but sometimes, it can be annoying.”

“Does she make you want to be a better person without her tellin’ you to be one?”

This one was easy to answer. “Yes.”

It took me a moment to realize that the noise he made was an attempt to cover a laugh. Lumen really had been good for him.

“Hate to tell you this, little brother, but I think you’re a bit pastlikeandcare. If you’re willin’ to change yourself for a woman, you’re well on your way tolove.”

Thel-word should have just added to the near panic that kept wanting to push its way forward, but it didn’t, which made me wonder if what I was feeling was actually panic or something else entirely.

“Look, Eoin.” Alec sounded serious now. “I’m not going to tell you what the right thing to do here is, but I will give you one piece of advice based on my own personal experience. Don’t be an idiot and fuck things up with her because of this.”

I frowned. “I’m not quite following you. When you found out Keli was pregnant, you married her, and it was definitelynota good thing.”

“If Aline hadn’t told you that she might be pregnant, would you have wanted to keep seeing her?”

Another easy one. “Yes.”

“Is she the sort of woman who’d lie so she could get pregnant?”

“No,” I said, my temper sparking at even the idea.

“I’m not makin’ accusations here.” His tone was mild. “But you defendin’ her instead of letting my question make you suspicious says a lot.”

Suddenly, a thought popped into my head, prompted by his question and the fact that it’d come after my comment about him and Keli. “Was that what happened with Keli? Did she…”

“I don’t know.” Alec’s voice was quiet. “I’ve never…it doesn’t matter now. However it came about, having Evanne in my life is the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

I didn’t doubt it. As much as I loved Evanne, I knew it couldn’t match how much he did.

“I’ve never told anyone except Lumen about what was happening when Keli told me she was pregnant,” he continued. “But you need to hear it too. I had planned to end things with Keli. Had, in fact, intended to do it when I met her that day. But, when she told me, I decided that providing a home with both mother and father was more important than my feelings for Keli.”

Shit. I hadn’t really known much about the relationship or spent much time around Keli during my rare times back home, and I’d never really liked her, but this was a surprise. Only until I really thought about it, though. Alec had been eight when our mother died, and it had been harder for him to accept when Da and Theresa had married. He loved Mom and all of our siblings, but I could see why he would want Evanne to have both of her biological parents raising her together.

“What I meant about drawing on my personal experience wasn’t about what happened between Keli and me. I meant Lumen. I almost lost her because I had some picture in my mind of what I thought my family should be instead of embracing what I truly wanted. I tried to force things with Keli not only once, but twice, and if Lumen hadn’t been the amazin’ woman she is…”

His thought trailed off, but I didn’t need him to tell me what would have happened if Lumen hadn’t been the woman she was.

“If you want to be with Aline, then be with her and take whatever comes with it, baby or not. Don’t force it just because you think that’s the ‘right’ thing to do, but also don’t let fear rule you. Being afraid doesn’t make you a bad person, just human. Your lass is probably just as terrified as you.”

It was good advice, and I allowed myself a moment to let it all sink in. “I’ve got a lot to think about.”

“Aye, you do. If you need to talk more, just call.”

“Thank you. I will.” I ended the call but didn’t move from where I was sitting.

I was glad I’d called my brother and appreciated the advice he’d given me, but a part of me wished it could’ve been simpler. That he would’ve just told me what to do. Sometimes, following orders was easier than having to think for myself.

Sixteen

Aline

By the timeI arrived at the Café Gratitude, the crackers I’d eaten at Martina’s had calmed my stomach enough that the absolutely amazing smells made me hungry rather than nauseous, for which I was grateful. If I could eat and didn’t have to excuse myself to the restroom to throw up, my parents would think everything was okay.

I’d actually arrived before them, which I thought would set a good tone, but I waited for them rather than choosing a table. Part of what I wanted to show them today was that we could have an adult relationship where we all respected each other and interacted with the same sort of politeness and consideration we would grant to any other ‘grown-up.’ Part of that, in my mind, was getting their opinion on where we should sit rather than choosing for them, especially since I was unsure if they would’ve done the same for me.

I had to admit, I felt some satisfaction when I saw the surprise on their faces when they came inside and saw me.

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