Page 27 of Dangers of Love

“Do we want an outside or indoor table?” I asked after giving both of them hugs.

Once we settled at our indoor table, we made some small talk about the weather and the Christmas decorations here at the restaurant. While innocuous enough topics, I could still feel the tension between us.

I didn’t like that the ease we’d once had was gone, but I knew that it hadn’t been real for a long time. The only reason we’d been able to function as well as we had was because I hadn’t been brave enough to face any of it, to rock the boat.

Now, I had more than one reason to do a little rocking.

Maybe a lot.

Not that I intended to tell my parents that particular little bit. Some of my reluctance came from the memory of their disappointment when Freedom told them that I’d slept with Eoin. They would probably have the same sort of reaction to a pregnancy, and that would break my heart. But that wasn’t the main reason.

The main reason was more complicated than that. Because of the problems my mother had carrying a baby to term and my own premature birth that had almost resulted in both of our deaths, my pregnancy would bring back the intense overprotectiveness that had followed the first couple days home after my kidnapping.Thatwould suffocate me.

Either one would damage our relationship even more, and both would destroy it.

Besides, it was still only a possibility, which meant telling them might not even be necessary. Actually, it might’ve been worse to tell them and then turn around and tell them that I’d been wrong. Even though my mother loved both Freedom and me, I knew she still grieved each baby she’d lost. A false positive wouldn’t be the same, but it might trigger her memories of everything she’d gone through back then. No matter how pissed I might have been at them, I wouldn’t do that to either of them.

“So, what have you been doing over at Martina’s place?” Mom asked. “Perusing possible employment opportunities in the area, or perhaps looking into continuing your education into the doctorate level?”

I noticed she hadn’t mentioned me looking for jobs outside of L.A., but I didn’t bother addressing that. Picking at every single thing that annoyed me would be counterproductive. I needed to choose my battles.

“Actually, I’ve been working part time at the boutique where Martina works. After what happened in Iran, I wanted something low-key while I decided what I wanted to do next.”

I could almost read the thoughts as they moved across my parents’ faces. Surprise. Confusion. Exasperation.

“Retail?” Mom wrinkled her nose as she said the word. “You have a master’s degree in elementary education, and you’ve chosen to work in retail?”

“If money is an issue, it doesn’t have to be,” Dad said. “You can come home and be free to take your time finding the right place for you. Somewhere your education and talents will be appreciated.”

How had my parents become such snobs? Was this something that had always existed in my family and I hadn’t noticed until now?

“It’s not a money issue,” I said. My voice was a little stiff, but I thought that was pretty good considering everything I had going on right now. “Martina would never ask me to pay to stay with her.”

I didn’t add that, even though she’d told me I didn’t need to, I’d given her money from my trust to help with utilities and show my appreciation for what she’d done. I had a feeling I’d earn a lecture with whatever information I shared. No need to stoke the fire.

Mom really looked confused now. “Then why are you working at a store? Any school would be lucky to have you, and Stanford would accept you into their doctorate program if you didn’t feel ready to teach yet.”

Apparently, I wasn’t going to get away with letting the matter be settled with the answers I’d given so far. I sighed, suddenly bone weary.

“I would’ve thought you’d both be proud of me for working rather than sitting around doing nothing.” I looked at my father. “Your parents were hard-working blue-collar people, and you worked your way up to having your own business.” I turned to Mom. “You both have always been such hard workers. Why wouldn’t you want me to follow in your footsteps?”

“We admire your work ethic,” Mom said, reaching across the table to pat my hand. “You’ve always worked so hard to get through school early and stay at the top of your class. We just don’t understand why you’ve chosen this particular job when you could do so much better.”

“There is nothing wrong with working retail,” I said, my hand tightening around my fork. “Why are you being so condescending about it?”

They both looked surprised, but I couldn’t tell if that was because they hadn’t realized how they’d sounded or if it was my speaking up about it that’d caught them off-guard.

“Of course, there’s nothing wrong with retail work,” Mom said, sounding quite offended by the very idea. “But those are the types of jobs that…”

The sentence trailed off, and she flushed.

“The types of jobs that someone like me shouldn’t ‘need’ to take?” I asked quietly. “Why? Because I was fortunate enough to grow up in a household where money was never an issue? Because I was born with a high IQ that made it easy for me to learn? Because I have a college degree? You always taught me that everyone was unique but equal.”

“You’re right.” Dad wrapped his hand around his glass but didn’t drink. “You’re absolutely right. Your mother and I raised you girls to treat everyone equally, and now we’re behaving as if you’re doing something beneath you.”

I couldn’t keep the surprise off my face. Not only had he just admitted how they sounded now, but he’d admitted that they were wrong for it too. I could count on one hand the number of times either of them had acknowledged they were wrong, and it had never been for something like this.

“We just want what’s best for you,” Mom said. “When you have children, you’ll understand.”

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