Page 50 of Dangers of Love

As I stared at it, I realized I hadn’t really looked at it last night. I’d just registered that it was pretty, my mind more focused on the fact that Eoin was proposing.

I wasn’t a jeweler, but I’d seen my fair share of engagement rings flashed about during one social event or another. I was ninety-five percent certain that it was white gold. A swirl halo style with a full carat diamond, and smaller diamonds on either side along the front of the band.

It was breath-taking.

I ran my thumb over it, almost like I was trying to convince myself that all of it was real. Eoin McCrae had changed my entire life in a little over a month, starting with literally saving my life. He’d been my first lover and was the father of a child I’d only recently learned I was carrying. He’d aggravated me and thrilled me. He’d given me orgasms that had made me see white and left me pleasantly sated. And even though he hadn’t known me long, my husband-to-be had found the engagement ring I would’ve chosen for myself.

My fiancé.

I was going to get married.

I was going to be a mother.

Maybe not in that order.

I let out a slow breath, thankful that Eoin wasn’t still in bed with me. Yes, we would be sharing a bed on a regular basis soon enough, but at this exact moment, I needed a few minutes to compose myself before I saw him. Prepare to face the reality of what had been a whirlwind night. Because the proposal and everything that had followed had been wonderful, but the baby was very real and needed real-life decisions made.

And it was my responsibility to make them.

No, I silently corrected myself.Ourresponsibility. Because we were in this together. He’d made that clear even before he’d given me the ring. No matter where things went with us, he wanted to be part of our child’s life. Despite what others may have thought from Eoin’s appearance, I knew how important family was to him. Yes, the proposal had thrown me, but the commitment to the baby hadn’t surprised me in the least.

After I cleaned up a bit, I headed for the kitchen, fully expecting to run into Eoin there, if not on the way. I was a yard or so away when I realized that I didn’t hear any sounds. Not things being moved around, doors opened or closed, not even the whisper of footsteps on the hardwood floor.

The kitchen was empty.

I frowned. I hadn’t expected Eoin to be here making me breakfast or anything like that, but I had thought he’d be here getting himself coffee or something to eat. It was Christmas Eve, and he hadn’t needed to go to work, which I had assumed meant he’d be here.

Before I could start analyzing his absence, however, I spotted a piece of paper on the fridge, and it appeared to have been handwritten. Relieved, I went to it.

Woke up and remembered I’d left something at the office but didn’t want to wake you. I shouldn’t be too long. If there’s anything you need, text me, and I’ll pick it up on my way back.

I felt a little awkward being here without him, but I supposed now was as good a time as any to acclimate to my new surroundings. After all, we were engaged, and he had already started on a nursery, which I assumed meant he intended for us to both – no, allthreeof us – to live here at some point.

That was when it hit me that we hadn’t talked about when the move would happen or how long our engagement would be. I didn’t know enough about his family to predict whether or not they would approve of us moving in together before we were married, but since I was already pregnant, I couldn’t really see the point of us living apart for appearance’s sake. But I also didn’t know if Eoin planned for a long engagement and some time in his new house by himself.

Guilt gnawed at me. He’d spent his entire adult life serving and protecting our country, only leaving after he was wounded, and when he finally found a place he wanted for his own, he was suddenly pushed into a situation where he couldn’t enjoy that freedom.

I could sympathize, I realized. I’d never lived on my own. Never had a life where I answered only to myself. And when I’d finally broken free, I hadn’t even had the time to adjust to mostly taking care of myself before I’d found out that my short-lived independence had turned into a crash course in all things adult.

My chest tightened, and I had to close my eyes to fight against the nearly overwhelming sensation of drowning. Could I truly do this, or was I simply deceiving myself? Had I made the decision to have and keep this baby because I would have felt like a failure otherwise? That my family’s opinion of me as an irresponsible and naïve child was justified? Was I in over my head, or would most women who experienced an unplanned pregnancy, regardless of age or circumstances, have similar moments of doubt?

I put my hand on my stomach, trying to decide if I already noticed a difference or if it was just in my head. I was slender enough that I wouldn’t be able to hide it once I did start showing. Not that I felt the need to conceal anything, I firmly told myself.

True, this hadn’t been intentional, but I wasn’t a minor who now had to decide whether or not she could finish high school. I was twenty-two, had a degree in a good field, and the advantage of a trust to ensure that money would never be an issue. Both of those didn’t even take into account Eoin’s involvement.

When he returned, we’d discuss things in more detail now that the emotion of last night had passed. A part of me, however, had the sudden desire to call my parents and confess all, ask for their help. But if I did that in a moment of weakness, I’d never forgive myself. I would just be proving what they’d thought all along.

So, no, I wouldn’t be going to them for advice or help. At least until I spoke with Eoin and determined whether or not I actually did need to do anything more than simply inform them of the changes in my life.

As for my sister, despite how close we’d always been, Freedom was below our parents when it came to people in whom I wished to confide. I had, however, told my parents that I would talk to Freedom before I joined them all for Christmas. Considering today was Christmas Eve, I didn’t have much time left to make good on my promise.

Which meant I needed to call my sister.

I wouldn’t, however, be telling her anything about the baby, Eoin, this place, or the engagement. Not yet.

No, I would keep the conversation firmly fixed on the plans for tomorrow, what I needed to bring, and perhaps tell her a bit about what I’d been doing since Thanksgiving. I could handle that.

I hoped.

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