Page 65 of Dangers of Love

Eoin went very still, and his face went blank. When he spoke, he was more careful than I’d ever heard him. “You’re looking for what?”

“I want to go somewhere I can make a difference,” I explained, thrown off by his reaction to what I’d thought was a good plan.

“You’ll make a difference no matter where you go,” he said. “You’re going to be an amazing teacher, whether you’re there for a day or a year.”

“Thank you.” I smiled, but now we had a tension between us that hadn’t existed a few minutes ago. “When I did my student teaching, I was at this amazing elementary school that had small class numbers and more resources than it knew what to do with. The salaries there were great too.”

He scratched at the stubble on his chin. “If you want to go back to a school near Stanford, we can figure something out.”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying.” I struggled to find the words to express what I’d felt that semester. “A school like that will get the best teachers because they can afford to be competitive in ways schools in poorer neighborhoods can’t. But money isn’t something I need to worry about, so I can afford to work for much less, go to places that couldn’t normally pay for someone with my credentials.”

I felt like such a snob saying it that way because I firmly believed that plenty of quality teachers came from public colleges, and I also believed that not all intelligence could be measured by IQ, but I knew that I was smart. Literally a genius according to standardized testing. I didn’t think it would be bragging to say that I’d be an asset to any faculty.

“That’s true,” he said. “But when you were thinking of all that, you weren’t pregnant. You can’t seriously be thinking of working in some school with metal detectors and gang members.”

“You’d rather I teach at a school with a nice library and good tech? Great sports programs?” I tried not to let my annoyance seep into my words, but I didn’t think I succeeded.

“Yes!” he snapped.

“You mean a school like Columbine in Colorado?” I countered, my own temper rising. “Or Sandy Hook? Don’t you think I know that being a teacher doesn’t automatically mean I’ll be safe? If I’m going to be in danger no matter where I go, why not be with kids who society has written off? Kids who, despite the statistics regarding mass shootings proving that they generallydon’ttake place in those ‘bad’ schools, are generally given the dregs of educators?”

“Do you even hear yourself?” He pushed to his feet, something dark on his face. “After what happened in Iran, how can you even think about putting yourself in that kind of situation again? Are you just looking for trouble?”

I stood up too. He was still much taller but being on my feet made me feel like we were a little more on even footing.

“I’m fully capable of deciding what I want to do with my life, Eoin.” I crossed my arms. “I would’ve thought Christmas with my family had driven that point home.”

“This is different.”

“You’re right,” I agreed. “Because you’re not my parent, so stop treating me like a child.”

He threw up his hands. “You’re damn right I’m not your parent because I never would’ve let you do something as fucking crazy as going to a war zone on some fucking crusade!”

Everything inside me went cold.

“Let me,” I echoed his words and then nodded. All right then. “Fuck you, Eoin McCrae.”

Without another word, I walked out.

Thirty-Six

Eoin

What the hell just happened?

We’d been getting along great since the engagement, even after that rough patch on Christmas Day. I’d half-expected her to backpedal on getting married since her family seemed to think it was a bad idea, but she’d stood her ground.

I doubted her parents would be upset for long. Their baby was getting married and was pregnant with their first grandchild. They were concerned, not idiots. They’d come around before the wedding. Or the birth. Aline and I hadn’t set a date yet.

Except now I wondered if we’d be doing any wedding planning at all.

I’d simply been trying to explain to her why her plans for teaching at schools in bad neighborhoods wasn’t a good idea for a pregnant woman, and she’d flipped out on me. I’d already expected there’d be hormone issues that made her act emotionally or irrationally, but I hadn’t expected this.

I winced as I finished that last thought. Mom and my sisters would kick my ass if they ever heard me refer to a woman as emotional or irrational because of hormones.

And maybe that hadn’t been the reason at all. After all, Aline had gotten into my face in Iran when she’d realized I planned to leave the other hostages. Actually, now that I thought about it, she’d never really had any problems making her opinions known to me.

I just couldn’t understand why she’d want to do something that risky. Going to Iran had been crazy, but at least it’d only been her at risk. Now she was pregnant. Couldn’t she see how dangerous the world was? How many things I had to protect her and our baby from?

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