Page 37 of Playing with Fire

I pulled away with a roll of my eyes. “I'd better go.”

He followed me and stood in the doorway as I made my way down the sidewalk to Jay's car. I sent him a wave and a smile before sliding into the passenger seat.

I waited patiently for my brother's lecture. Or disapproval. Or both.

“Please tell me nothing's going on between you and Logan.”

I sighed and tried not to sound like a petulant child. “That's not really any of your business.” He knew my track record for shitty boyfriends, and had given me plenty of lectures. Logan was the complete opposite. A good guy. So I couldn't help but wonder what his issue was.

“He's too old for you.”

Ah, here we go. He was leading with that? Really?

“Seriously?” I chuckled. “Um, couldn't I say the same for you and Sarah? She's what, like eight years older than you?”

He glanced over with raised eyebrows. “That's not the same.”

“How so?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Because I'm a girl?” Double standard much?

“No. I—” He shook his head. “Because you're only twenty-one.”

“Okay, and you were twenty-five when you met Sarah.”

“He's divorced and has two kids.”

I rolled my eyes. “And Sarah was a single mom with a baby.”

The silence grew in the car until I felt tears form behind my eyes. Of all the people in my life, I wanted my big brother to be proud of me. He’d always taken care of me, sacrificed so much to do so, and now I was trying to take care of myself. To show him I could do it.

I wanted him to finally look at me as mature and grown-up. But the last couple of years, that felt more and more unattainable. Like, no matter what I did, he would only ever see me as his impulsive twelve-year-old little sister.

“You know, you could just be happy for me.” I sniffed.

“Jesus,” he mumbled. “Izzy, I'm trying to look out for you.” A deep sigh escaped him. “Do you really think getting tied down with a family right now is what's best for you?”

I whipped my gaze over to him. “I'm not entirely sure what's best for me right now. But what I do know is it's up to me to figure that out, don't you think?” I huffed and sagged back into the seat. “What would you have said to me if I said this to you when you started things with Sarah?”

He glanced over, studying me. “I would have told you to shut it.”

“Right.”

He was silent for the next several minutes, and I could practically feel him processing his reaction. “You really like him?”

My lips lifted into a smile. “I do.” I chuckled. “Can I tell you a story?”

He knew better than anyone that my exes were self-centered pricks who would do nothing for me that didn't benefit themselves. So when he nodded, I gave him the SparkNotes version of what happened the night before. Getting the flat and calling Logan. Him coming to help me without a single question. I left off the things he said to me about how I affected him. I doubted my brother wanted those details.

“Hmm,” he said, a smirk tugging at his lips. “He didn't even ask if you called me first?”

I shook my head. “Nope. And when I said maybe I should have, he acted like the idea offended him. Like, why would I call anyone but him?”

He was quiet again for far too long before finally speaking again. “You could lose the nanny gig if it doesn't work out.”

That thought sent my stomach plummeting. But I was aware that was a risk. “Isn't there some famous quote that says the greatest failure is not to try?”

With a chuckle, he shook his head, and after a moment, he said, “You know I'll kick his ass if he breaks your heart.”

“Jay,” I began, searching for the right words. I appreciated the sentiment, but I needed him to understand something. “I'm not your baby sister who needs protecting anymore.”

---