Page 38 of Dangerous Games

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NANETTE

In my mind I picture the blood everywhere. Again—the same way it was when they nearly killed Jimmy. It torments me, even when Dominic walks me up to my room. He can barely breathe. He’s in so much pain, but I can’t function. The fear gnaws at my conscience. I’ve been here, this hell I’m living right now, and I fought to get out. How did I get back here? Why did I let this family suck me in?

“Jimmy,” I whimper, but Dominic uses his right hand in the small of my back to guide me toward the bed. I’m covered in blood too, Dominic’s blood. The minute the scarred man was dead, I was on him. He collapsed onto the ground, and I was there, putting pressure on the wound. His brothers said it was a through and through and taking him to the hospital was dangerous. I know he needs stitches, but he’s trying to act brave, even with his jacket sleeve still tied around the seeping wound.

“Jimmy will be here later, Nan. Just get out of those bloody clothes and let me help you into bed.”

I obey on autopilot. It’s one thing I’ve learned to do now. First my clothing comes off, then my dignity is washed away as I stand nearly naked, still blood-stained, before him. Only his eyes aren’t devilishly devouring me this time. He’s hurting, and I’m hurting for him.

“Let me help you,” I tell him, forcing him to sit on the edge of the bed. He listens and I go to the nightstand drawer where I saw a pair of scissors at one point. I pull them out and begin cutting his clothing away. He’s wealthy enough to replace it all in a moment’s notice but undressing him this way will eliminate some of his pain.

“Ouch,” he winces as I get to the thick knot of his sleeve. It’s tied tightly, but the scissors make short work of the fabric. He sits topless, a tiny trickle of blood running down his chest.

“You need a doctor. Antibiotics at the very least.” I use a scrap of fabric to wipe away the blood, but he is stained just like me. He grabs my wrist and stops me, and I fear I’ve hurt him more, but he brings my hand to his lips and kisses it.

“I thought I lost you, and that thought drove me mad with rage. You are mine, Nanette. I wasn’t joking when I said that.” His eyes search me and after what we’ve been through today, I know I’m his. It’s all I want to be.

“I know, Dom.” I don’t even pull my hand away from him. He kisses it again. For the first time in my life, it’s not about power. It’s not about dominating someone or using my ability or body to get them to do what I want. It’s not about taking back what someone stole, or having my voice heard. When Dominic’s eyes graze over my naked chest, I feel vulnerable, and I like it. I like that he looks at me like that, with hungry eyes. I like that I’m weak before him, that he is stronger than me, and more powerful.

“I’m going to need your help with my belt,” he said quietly, and I look down, seeing the growing bulge in his pants. I reach down and undo his belt and the fly of his slacks, and he stands next to me. I slide his pants and boxers down over his hips, and he kicks off his shoes and steps out of his clothing. At the same time, I push my panties down and wait for him to be ready for me.

“Dom, you don’t have to—”

“Nan…” He cuts me off. His tone is stern, but not angry. He stares into my eyes, but I don’t see the same hungry animalistic passion there that I’ve seen before. He uses his right hand to stroke his cock, readying it for me, but I can’t see how he’s even going to do this. He can’t use his left arm right now.

“Dominic…” I mutter, sighing. It’s not that I don’t want him. There is nothing more I want in this moment than to have him, but I don’t want what I normally want. I don’t even know how to express what I want.

He crawls onto the bed and carefully lays on his back, jerking his chin upward at me. Being on top, dominating him, it’s the last thing I want. I fight it, shaking my head, but he uses one finger to call me closer, and like a trained pet I crawl toward him.

“I don’t want…” I start to say, but I don’t know how to say this.

“I know what you want.” He nudges my leg and I straddle him, letting my slit rest against his hard cock.

“You do?”

“Yes, I do,” he whispers.

“But I don’t even know. I don’t know what I want.” I shake my head. I’m not sure what I’m trying to say. I’m lost in the moment. I’m lost in the look in his eyes. I’m lost in the feel of him, the smell of him, the taste of him. I’m lost, but I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I feel like this is where I’m supposed to be.

I kiss him, gently, and he kisses me back. I moan as I do, it’s what I always want to do with him. He’s the perfect man, and every time I kiss him, every time I touch him, I’m reminded of this fact. I slide my body over his cock, letting it rub against my slit, and he groans.

“I don’t want to be in control.”

He sits up and I wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my breasts against him. His hands slide down over my ass, feeling the curve there, and he squeezes it, spanking me gently. I yelp a little, and he laughs, then I laugh with him. “You want to ride me, Nan.” His voice is a low, husky growl. He slides his hips forward and pushes the tip of his cock inside me.

I moan, “Oh,” and nod my head. I do want to ride him.

As I sink down on his cock, using my knees to brace myself, my muscles tighten and my body quivers. I’m the one in control, but I feel like I have no control at all. He is in control of my body, of my actions, of my whole being. His eyes are fixed on mine, but I can’t decipher the emotion inside of them. I stare at him until I feel like I’m going to lose my mind.

And then I know what I want—not to be in control, and not to dominate him. Not for him to dominate me either. I want us to be one. I want us to be one body, one heart, one soul. I want us to be together as one, and not in any way that means I’m not me and he’s not him. I don’t want us to lose ourselves. I don’t want us to become one person. I just want us to be together. I want to be a part of him, and for him to be a part of me.

I stare into his eyes, into the dark green depths of his soul and I know I’m right. I know that this is what I want. I want to be with him, in every way. I want to be his. I want to belong to him, completely and forever. “I want to be joined with you,” I whisper. “I want to feel you inside of me and feel your body against mine.”

“Join with me, then,” he whispers, slamming himself harder into me. He holds his arms out, wrapping them around me, pulling me close. “Come here.” I can’t move; his cock is deep inside of me, and I don’t want to move away from it. He slams into me again, and my pussy tightens around him. He grunts and his fingers dig into my flesh. He’s holding me so tight I’m not sure how I’ll get away from him. If I ever want to get away from him.

The tears spill out of my eyes, and I don’t even try to stop them. I don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed, I just feel like they’re right. I feel like they’re justified. I want this. I need this. I need him. I need him to be my Dom. I need him to be in control, I need to submit to him. I need him to tell me what to do, and I need to do it. I need him to take my body and my heart and my soul. I need him to take them all, and I need to give them to him.

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