Page 34 of Single Dad's Christmas Cookie

“Too bad she’s missing this,” I said. I glanced over at his kids. From the bored expressions on their faces and the way they stared at their phones, they were missing all of this too.

“I don’t think this is something she’d enjoy,” Ned said.

“Well, if you’ll excuse me, my kid is loving this. I guess it helps to be young.”

I shoved my hands in my pockets and headed to where Amelia and Nova stood looking at one of the sculptures.

I kept my distance as they oohed and ahhed over the various sculptures. So what if Ned had seen Nova? What did it matter if he had even seen me with her? We were both single, consenting adults. And the situation that had her in my house was not what he was thinking it was. He needed to keep his nose out of where it wasn’t welcome.

15

NOVA

Bryan lifted Amelia into his arms. “Time to head back home,” he announced.

I started to ask them both what they wanted for dinner, but then I noticed something. It was subtle at first. Maybe it was in my head and I was reading too much into it, but Bryan was noticeably walking several paces ahead of me. Earlier, he had walked with Amelia and me, but now he was outpacing me and gaining distance.

I scampered to keep up. “It seems to have gotten colder,” I said. I figured maybe he was in a hurry to get back inside because the snow was getting thicker.

Nothing. Not even a grunt. Maybe that man he stopped to talk with reminded him that he had to get something done. Maybe I really was overreacting and I needed to get over myself. There were so many things I needed to get over. The list seemed to get longer every day. I wasn’t tackling anything other than my immediate needs.

When there was the very real possibility of not having enough cash flow to cover the rent or electricity bill, it was hard to think about taking care of my other, more long-term, issues. I didn’t have time to focus on myself until it all became too overwhelming and that’s all I could deal with. My life had become nothing more than a series of constant emergencies. But this afternoon, I had been able to put all that angst aside and simply enjoy my time and the company.

Until now. Suddenly, the dynamic changed and I felt very defensive. All because Bryan was walking a few paces faster than me. Yeah, I needed to get out of my head. I was overthinking everything. I should be more focused on what I was going to make for dinner and whether I needed to go to the store for anything.

Did we have cheese? I think we did. I tried to picture cheese in the refrigerator. Yes, there was cheese. There was chicken. As I mentally went through the list of items I needed for chicken tacos, I confirmed that I did not need to go shopping. At least not for dinner.

It might be good to get some Christmas candies like those little spiced gumdrops for the gingerbread house. That is if we even managed to get it standing upright. And we were low on brown sugar. I was going to need to go to the store, after all.

Bryan was already helping Amelia into the car by the time I caught up with them. I stopped myself from apologizing for being ‘so slow’. I hadn’t been slow. Bryan had been fast. And I didn’t need to apologize for anything. This was simply a fortuitous, well-timed reminder not to fall for the boss. And as a teacher, I managed to not get too emotionally attached to my students, so I should be able to manage not getting attached to Amelia. I was allowed to like her. I was allowed to be happyaround her. I didn’t need to misinterpret those lower level surface emotions for anything more intense.

I looked at Bryan and reminded myself of David.No forming attachments. Stop it.

Bryan didn’t even acknowledge me when I started to open the passenger car door but switched to opening the back door. I climbed in next to Amelia. It didn’t feel right to sit up front with the employer. And Bryan was my employer. I had to get that through my thick skull.

Of course, his actions at the moment were making it easy for me to distance myself.

“That was fun,” I said to Amelia. She looked sad.

“I want to stay,” she complained. She sniffed. The tip of her nose wasn’t red, so I didn’t think it was a sniffle from being too cold.

I pulled a tissue from my coat pocket and handed it to her. “Are you sad the fun is over?”

She nodded.

“It’s okay to be sad that the fun is over. But remember to be happy you got to see all those ice sculptures. And wasn’t the carriage ride fun?”

She nodded. “But I don’t want it to be over.”

I tapped her in the middle of her forehead. “It doesn’t have to be over here. You can close your eyes and remember everything.”

She closed her eyes and a smile crossed her face. Suddenly, her eyes snapped open. “Do you think Santa will bring me presents this year?”

“What do you mean?” I didn’t know how to answer her. “Does Santa normally bring you presents?”

“He does at Grandmother’s house, but not at home. We don’t usually have a Christmas tree.”

I shot a glance at the back of Bryan’s head. He was completely ignoring us. It was the first time I really noticed his expression. His scowl indicated that he was deep in concentration about something. He didn’t hear Amelia. And I didn’t think this would be a good time to ask. Would he be introspective enough to not blurt something out in front of his daughter that might hurt her feelings?

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