Page 8 of What I've Tasted of Desire

I shook my head as a fresh set of tears ran from the corners of my eyes, my throat too tight to speak.

“No, I…” he stammered. He brought his hands up to the sides of his head and looked around the room as he started to tremble. “You didn't call me!” His sudden increase in volume caught me off guard and I flinched as he crossed the room and took a vice grip on my shoulders. His face was beet-red and the whites of his eyes had started to yellow. I thought for a moment he was going to hit me.

“I- I did. I called your cell and your office phone twice. I couldn’t even get a receptionist to pick up.”

I stared into his eyes as they dilated, making the emerald of his iris nearly disappear. We stayed like that for a moment. The only thing moving was his trembling fingers digging into my shoulders like life support. It was like I could see the thoughts running a thousand miles a minute, as if I were staring straight through his pupils.

He let me go as swiftly as he’d grabbed me and turned towards his bedroom. “I’m gonna be sick.”

As if in a trance, I followed along behind him. Unsteady, stumbling feet took him into his bedroom and through to the master bath, where he flung the top of the toilet seat up with so much force I’m surprised it didn’t split in half. He hit his knees and wretched into the bowl over and over and over again. I turned around and covered my nose with the sleeve of my shirt. The smell was godawful, and was about to make me vomit myself.

“I’m gonna get you some water,” I choked out. I hurried out of the room and back into the hallway, taking a deep breath for the first time. I couldn’t smell his sick anymore, but my stomach was still rolling.

I swallowed hard and rounded the corner into the kitchen. As soon as I opened the cupboard to grab a glass, I heard the gunshot.

I didn’t scream. In fact, everything in my brain suddenly became deathly quiet. I knew exactly what had just happened. I couldn’t bring myself to walk into his bedroom, so I just stood there frozen. My arm, still midair, reaching for the glass, as if God had pressed some kind of giant pause button.

After a few seconds, or a few minutes, I pulled my cell phone out of my back pocket and dialed 911.

“Hi,” I said, with an eerie calm crowding out the white noise in my head. “My father has just shot himself.”

Chapter Five

“Great job today, Gabe. I know I’ve said this to you a million times, but I’ve never seen someone more determined to get themselves into shape. You really are a completely different person than that shlubby guy that walked through those doors two years ago.”

I put the cap of my water bottle between my teeth and pulled the stopper open before tilting my head back, taking long fluid pulls of water. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and used the towel I’d slung over my bare shoulder to wipe the pooling sweat from my hairline.

“It’s thanks to you, man. I didn’t have a clue when I first walked in here.” I sighed. “Shit, sometimes I still feel like I don’t. When I come in to work out on my own, I feel like a lost puppy.”

Jason laughed and slapped me on the shoulder. “Well, considering you are now in better shape thanI am,I’d say you are doing just fine. See ya Tuesday?”

I nodded. “Yeah. See ya then.” Once all the weights we’d used were racked neatly, I wiped down the bench and silently debated a quick jaunt on the treadmill before I hit the showers. I peeked at the digital clock on the wall, making my final decision to skip it. Alex would be leaving Westing House in an hour and heading to that shitty motel they’d put him in.

I wasn’t thrilled about that. As far as I could gather, it was taking the construction crew longer to get Alex’s living quarters suitable, so that useless whore Melissa had sloughed my boy off into that crack den. I’d spent two sleepless nights in a row freezing my balls off in the parking lot, making sure no one tried to get into Alex’s room or fuck with him when he was coming or going.

I had managed to catch a few hours of rest this morning after Alex had gotten to work safely, but still decided to skip the coming evening's kickboxing class. The class didn’t start ‘til seven, and it would be well past dark by then. I needed to be at the motel in case anything happened.

I made quick work of peeling my shirt and gym shorts off and tossing them into my gym bag before wrapping my towel around my naked waist. I made my way through the locker room and into the shower area.

Emberford Family Fitness did most of its business in the mornings and early afternoons. I’d always preferred to have my training sessions in the evenings when it was less crowded. It had started back when I began working out, because I felt so disgusting and ashamed of my figure. That, and the fact that, for the first six months, I felt like a bumbling fool. Learning the equipment, and trying to stay on pace with the exercises the trainer was demonstrating? It was so stressful. And the sweat… my God, the gallons and gallons of sweat. If anyone had been my chubby, soaked, miserable self in those dark days, I might have considered ending it all.

I paused as I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror that ran the length of the locker room. Jason had been right about one thing: I was a completely different person than I was before, both in body and mind. I was proud of my body now. I had a six-pack, nice pecs, and I could swear my dick had grown two inches since I lost all the weight.

I had been lucky that my skin had recovered. I had a few stretch marks here and there, but, for the most part, everything was tight and where it should be. I finally had a body I could be proud to present to Alex. I looked like someone who was worthy of loving him.

It was almost time.

I continued into the showers and pulled my towel off to hang it on the small ceramic hook affixed to the side of the shower stall. The room was empty, save one guy showering in the corner. He had his back to me and glanced over his shoulder as I walked in. I noticed him peeking again as I hung up the towel.

He had a nice body and tan skin. Dirty blonde hair buzzed short against his scalp. He looked like any other down-low gym rat. He looked over his shoulder again and caught my stare. Once our eyes met, he turned his body to the side to show me his swollen cock jetting out from between his legs. It wasn’t the first time I’d been cruised in these showers.

“Sorry,” I said curtly. “You’ve got a great ass, but I’m taken.”

He turned the rest of the way around to face me fully. “Is she here?”

I frowned at him and, walked into my stall, and pulled on the nozzle to start the hot spray. I was exhausted, and just wanted to let the steam permeate my pores a bit before I spent another freezing night in the driver’s seat of my SUV.

Stepping under the shower head, I closed my eyes and let the water cascade down my face and body.

---