Page 87 of The Player + The Pact = I Do

“He doesn’t want a repeat performance of what happened with Caroline when he thought the feelings between them were mutual and found out they weren’t.”

“I don’t even need to be here for this psycho-drama,” Ireply, looking between my friends. “You two can play it out all by yourselves.”

“But Jules isn’t Caroline,” Jack says, like I’m not even here. “And you’re not eighteen anymore. You’ve got a better read on people.”

I shrug. “It doesn’t matter anyway. Life goes on.”

“Well, it clearly does matter because you’re miserable,” Worth says.

“Oh don’t worry,” Jack says. “It will only last a decade or so and he’ll get over it.”

He’s obviously comparing Caroline dumping me with Jules leaving, but the two events are incomparable. Jules is more important in so many ways than Caroline ever was. That wasn’t clear to me until the awards ceremony, when I realized Caroline didn’t have the impact or power I thought she did on me. Caroline hurt my ego. Jules has ripped out my heart.

“I hoped things were going to carry on between us,” I admit. “We were going to have dinner last night. Talk.”

“And you chickened out?” Jack suggests.

“No. I was a little late back from the office, and when I got home, she’d gone back to Jersey.”

“So she thought you dumped her and fled? Sounds like a twist on Romeo and Juliet,” Jack says.

“With less death involved,” Worth says. “Were you late back because you were scared to have a conversation with her?”

“No,” I say. “I was stuck on a call and we were texting about sushi and then all of a sudden—” I stop and think. “Everything was fine. She knew I was running late. She was going to place an order for sushi for us both and then… and then I said her dad hadn’t shown up for our meeting.”

Worth and Jack look confused as fuck, so I fillthem in about Jules’ father turning up on the roof terrace and me trying to take the heat off of Jules by offering to meet with him. I explain briefly about their difficult relationship and his frequent disappearing acts.

“So after you told her about her dad not showing up, she split?” Jack asks.

“Yeah. I hadn’t made the connection until now.”

“And before that she seemed up to continue things with you, or at least talk about it?” Worth clarifies.

“We hadn’t talked yet, but yeah, I thought she was open to it. I guess I had it wrong.”

“Or she got freaked out by her asshole dad and…”

“And?” I ask. “And what? You think she was embarrassed he didn’t show? It doesn’t reflect badly on her. She’s not responsible for him.”

Worth sighs. “Maybe it goes deeper. I’m no shrink, but it sounds like she’s used to the men in her life abandoning her. Or at least, one really important man. An easy way to stop that happening again is by not having men in your life at all.”

Fuck. Worth might not be a shrink, but that theory fits like a glove. “Shit,” I say. “What do I do?”

“I’m not sure,” Worth replies.

“It sounds like you’re onto something though,” Jack agrees. “She’s retreating, trying to be an island. Only relying on the people she’s sure of.”

“But she can be sure of me.”

“Can she?” Worth asks. “I mean, how long have you two been sleeping together? It’s not like you were going to propose to her.”

I stay silent. I hadn’t considered proposing, no. But I don’t hate the idea.

“Were you?” Jack asks.

“It wasn’t part of the plan. Not right now, anyway. But Jules is special. And the more I get to know her, the more I like her. The more time I spend with her, the less time I want to spend without her. She’s smart and beautiful and she makes me laugh and she makes me… better. Happy. At peace.”

I let my own words sink into my brain. Everything I’m saying is true. Jules is it for me. Or she was.

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