Page 19 of Unfolding Kiara

Nineteen

16th August, Thursday

I know I haven’t been writing lately, but we were all busy with homework, projects and . . . stuff like exploring each other’s bodies.

Did I ever tell you how much more attractive you become when you’re playing with Evey? Don’t get me started. God, your mothers have raised you so well! You know, as weird as it may seem, if I have a non-existent future, I would want a son like you.

I just made it awkward, didn’t I?

You must be wondering why I pushed you yesterday when you told me to take some rest after a long evening with Eveline. I wanted to save my virginity till marriage, even though I know how cliché it sounds. The feeling of becoming one soul with a person you love, cherish, worship, the one you call husband. Cherishing each other’s bodies, not because of lust, but because of love.

Ethan, I was ready to give up my virginity to you, rather than anyone else. I was ready. Far more than ready, physically and emotionally. But when you said that you wanted me to take a rest, the sick part of me thought you don’t like me that way. Or didn’t want to have sex with me.

Everything came crumbling down and all I could think about was the negative part of it. I couldn’t see that you really cared about me, and not just because of my body.

But fuck me for having a mini anxiety attack. It’s three in the morning right now and I can hear you shuffling in your room. I could hear Eveline cry faintly and without even seeing you, I know you are holding her in your arms and soothing her to sleep.

I don’t regret anything that happened between the two of us, E. I really hope you feel the same.

Love,

Kiara

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