Page 23 of Unfolding Kiara

Twenty-Three

5th September, Wednesday

I am so done with this life. She’s dead. My mother is dead . . . oh, God.

I can’t keep going on like this, Ethan. I am tired. Fucking exhausted. The worst part is that when she was in pain, I was busy having sex with you in the school cubicle. I hate myself. I hate this body. I hate everything.

It broke me to see my dad cry, hear my brother’s muffled sobs and your warm tears on my skin when you cried, hiding your face in my neck. I couldn’t cry but let silent tears slide down my face.

I got angry with myself when you said you didn’t want to touch me like that or even help me forget. I hurt you using my words, but you didn’t run away.

Why didn’t you? You can’t let me do that to you, Ethan. Maybe it’s a good thing I left in the end.

I want nothing but the hurt to swallow me whole and drown in my own tears.

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