Page 30 of Unfolding Kiara

Thirty

It’s been such a long time since I opened this book and made myself vulnerable. Maybe I was a coward, or maybe I was busy. You’ll never know.

I have decided, Ethan. I have already hurt myself, Liam, and a little part of you. I can’t do that again anymore.

Today was prom, and it was great.

I almost tripped on my heels when I saw you tonight. Your green and blue eyes were shining so brightly with a slight curve on your lips that made my heartbeat faster. I wanted to cry seeing you like that, as you gazed at me with so much adoration in your beautiful unmatched eyes. Because, soon, I would lose the one person I breathed for.

I wanted tonight to be just us. I ignored the guilty stares of Dave and his friends, the longing gaze of Liam, and lost myself in you.

I love how you didn’t complain when I stepped on your toes and told me to sway at the music. You’re too good to me, Ethan.

Maybe this was a good thing. Because if I would have stayed, I would pretend to be normal, and you’d never know how I felt all this time.

I would never forget about tonight, Ethan. Wherever I go, I will always have tonight locked in my heart. It was so hard not to spill the truth when you hovered above me and looked at me with your unmatched eyes like I was everything and more you wished for.

We both were crying at the intimacy and pleasure as if it was our first time. In a way, it was. We made love today. Not to each other’s bodies, but to our souls. Every part of it was beautiful.

It hurts to know that I will never experience it again.

I hated waking up and getting dressed while you slept. A goofy smile curved on your lips. Maybe dreaming about our future. It hurts to know that I won’t be with you the next morning, or in your future.

With a heavy heart, I crossed the distance between us and held back my tears as I let myself open up to you. I hope you forgive me and know that I love you.

I am a mess, Ethan. You don’t deserve me. You deserve someone better and more. A person who won’t lie to you every single day. A person who won’t hide their true self from you. Maybe I am worse than Ariana to do this to you. You are my saving grace, E. I can’t stand the idea that I let myself hurt you so much, I am sorry for losing you.

I hope that tomorrow when you wake up, you might understand why I had to do it.

I love you.

---