Page 53 of Dirty Wild Sultan

I scowled at him and crossed my arms. The wind was cold, and it reminded me of the night where I had walked the same cobblestone path with her. I wished she had joined us, but Khalid told me she left for her room as soon as she had dinner.

“Really?” Zara frowned. “I hope you apologize to her.”

“Why do you think it’s my fault?”

Khalid snickered and my sister raised her brow at me. “Isn’t it? You always skipped having to eat with us whenever you thought you were guilty. You couldn’t bear to be in the same room, let alone eat. So your absence from dinner meant it was your fault and—”

“Yes, Zara, you’re right.” I looked away, embarrassed.

“What happened?” Khalid asked after a few moments.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I was brutally honest with her and my answer hurt her. I want to talk with her, but I am afraid.”

Zara giggled. “Stop being a pussy and just talk to her, geez.”

Khalid and I groaned hearing our little sister curse.

“What?” Zara said.

“Take some time tonight and talk to her first thing in the morning. Be honest, don’t sugarcoat things,” my brother advised, and I took mental notes. Even though he had never been in a relationship, he was wise. He had been infatuated with only one girl since I can remember, but he doesn’t share anything about her because he thinks that he would never find her.

“And don’t go empty-handed. Women love gifts, especially from the people we love,” Zara cooed, giving me ideas of what to gift her. Chocolates, a movie date night, books or even perfume. Azmia was well-known for the rich scent of our exotic perfumes, and before I met Nasrin, I had asked to have a custom-made perfume with a note of jasmine. I could gift it to her.

“I will talk to her,” I announced and forced them into a hug, ignoring Khalid’s whine. “Thank you.”

* * *

“What didyou want to talk about, Sultan?” Nasrin asked, her voice monotone as she looked anywhere but at me.

I had missed her. Sleeping in another room without the bedsheets and pillows smelling like her or the press of her warm body against mine had made me sleepless. I had resisted the urge of waking her up at midnight to apologize and sleep with her.

“I wanted to apologize to you. I am sorry, Nasrin. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh when I answered your question,” I said to her, wishing I could step closer to her and embrace her.

She bit her lip and looked away, a lock of dark hair brushing her collarbone. “As much as your answer hurt me, Zain, you shouldn’t apologize to me. I am sorry for even thinking that you would want to have a child. Especially with me. You had made it clear that you didn’t—”

“Nasrin. Do you know why I don’t want children? Because I hate the thought of having our child, loving him or her. It pains me to think that I will turn out worse than my father was and hurt you and our child. I have nightmares about it because following my father’s footsteps is the last thing that I want.”

I closed my eyes because I couldn’t look at her after telling her the truth. She had asked me to always be honest with her before we got married. It felt good to be honest about it, but I was afraid of what she might think of me for having such terrible thoughts.

“Zain.” I shuddered when her fingers cupped my cheeks. I opened my eyes and stared at her, her eyes gleaming as tears slid down her face. “You are not him. You are Zain. You are my Zain, and you don’t need to prove to yourself or anyone that you are not like your father. Everyone knows that you are not. We don’t need to have a child if that’s what you want. I am sorry for being so annoying yesterday and a—”

“Please don’t cry,” I whispered, wiping away her tears and embracing her in a hug. “I will try not to compare myself with him, but it will take time, Nasrin. But I will try because I don’t want you to be angry at me. I want to be better for you.”

“You are better for me, Zain.”

I pulled away and cupped her cheeks, gazing at her glittering brown eyes. “I won’t deny that I am terrified, but I am more thrilled to have a baby with you, Nasrin. I know you would smack me before I do something stupid, so all I want to do is ask a favor from you.”

“What?” Her voice was barely audible.

“Be with me. Stay with me when I make stupid decisions and scold me.”

“Are you sure? That sounds really good to me. I love scolding the most powerful sultan.”

I let out a soft laugh, her grin making my heartbeat increase. “Yes, I am sure, Sultana. You look hot when you are angry.”

Nasrin scrunched her face and let out a loud laugh that made me feel something weird in my stomach. My eyes noticed and captured every little detail of her. The sound of her laugh doing odd things to my body.

Is this what it was? Is this how it feels to be in love?

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