Page 82 of Hushed

“So, you have spaces to play here?”

He nodded. “Not as many as I used to. I donated a chunk of my equipment to the club. But I still host the occasional private party for my closest friends.”

“That sounds fun. I love a good house party, but a kinky house party sounds even better.”

The last two rooms on the tour were Gage’s bedroom and his office. His bedroom was an oasis of luxury and decadence, and Kenzie felt at home there immediately. It was a mixture of deep reds and warm wood, and had a rustic cabin feel that fit his personality. The bed dominated the room, and yet there was still plenty of space for a dresser and seating area along with an en suite bathroom and large walk-in closet. She thought she could stay there forever.

The office showed a different side to his personality. It was perfectly organized and tidy, which didn’t surprise her, but it was sleek and modern, with a large desk made of black metal and shiny glass. An expensive computer and some of the latest tech gadgets sat neatly on the desk.

A black and white photo of a woman suspended in red silk rope filled the wall behind his desk. Her face was obscured, and everything was covered by the rope, so it was pure art as opposed to being pornographic, and Kenzie couldn’t stop looking at it. Bookshelves on either side held a small library of neatly arranged books that ranged from the latest thriller to the classics. Kenzie loved his house, and wanted to spend a lot more time here, but when she stood in his foyer to say goodbye to him, she was overcome with anxiety about being alone in his space.

“I hate I have to leave you here, but I can get Carrie or Olivia to come hang out with you if you want.”

She shook her head. “I would rather not meet a stranger without you there as a buffer. I get nervous and socially awkward. Especially around friends like yours.” Social situations with unknown people always made her nervous and self-conscious.

He raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean friends like mine?”

She laughed. “They’re all famous or do cool shit. You’ve surrounded yourself with successful, talented people, and I don’t measure up. They’re going to wonder what you see in me.”

“You mean cool shit like graphic design or DJing the hottest clubs in New York City? Stop acting like you’re not on the same level as these people. They won’t wonder what I see in you because they’ll see what I see. A supremely talented woman who has built her own business and brand from the ground up.”

She wanted to growl at him. His constant habit of pointing out where she not so subtly put herself down was getting old. Mostly because she hated how right he was. After all the work she’d done as a teenager to be completely in love with her body, it didn’t often occur to her she’d transferred her self-loathing to other places.

That could be what her therapist had been trying to get her to understand all this time. She blinked and shook her head. Now wasn’t the time to psychoanalyze herself.

“It’s hard to believe the hype sometimes. I’m a disorganized, hot mess. It doesn’t seem realistic that I might be on the same level as some of the people you’ve introduced me to.”

Gage let out a loud laugh. “I’m going to tell Carrie to text me a picture of her office. The two of you will hit it off, I’m sure of it. And she’s got two books on the New York Times list.”

She chewed on her fingernails and shifted from one foot to the other, unsure of what to say next.

He pulled her hand away from her mouth and brought it to his, brushing a kiss over her knuckles.

“As much as I want to stay here and make you realize how fucking perfect you are, I have to go. But if you change your mind about wanting company, there are several people who would drop what they’re doing and hang out with you in a heartbeat.”

Kenzie drew closer to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Thanks. I’ll be OK, though. I’m going to go through your underwear drawer and look for embarrassing baby pictures to give you shit about later.”

He frowned. “You’re welcome to the underwear drawer, but you’ll be disappointed because I don’t have any baby pictures.”

“None at all?”

He shook his head. “Nope. I don’t know what I looked like as a baby. The first photo of me I have was from when I was about ten.”

Her eyes got wide. “Seriously? That’s so sad.”

He kissed her nose. “It’s a long story, little imp. Don’t be sad for me. I’ve got a good life.”

“You’ll have to tell me that story sometime.”

He kissed her again and walked out the door, leaving her with so many questions.

Kenzie spent a leisurely half an hour roaming Gage’s house, getting familiar with it before she settled at his dining room table and set up her laptop.

He’d told her to make herself comfortable in his office, but it felt too much like intruding. A home office was a sanctuary, and she couldn’t imagine letting other people work out of hers. Even letting Gage use her computer once made her uncomfortable, and she never let guests sleep in there. They slept on the couch, or she gave them her bed, depending on who it was. Gage’s office was pristine, as was the entire house, solidifying his status as a neat freak. She wondered again if he used a cleaning service,because she couldn’t picture him scrubbing a toilet or making a bed himself. Then again, he was a former marine, and they learned how to scrub toilets and make beds in the marines.

When she was engrossed in her work, she let her mind wander to what it might be like living with him. No doubt their home would be tidy, something she wouldn’t mind at all since clutter fucked with her focus, and yet clutter was so hard to manage with ADHD. Even dating him had her keeping her space a little tidier than she usually did, and it was delightful walking into a clean kitchen to get a snack, or not having to move piles of laundry off the bed to go to sleep.

Despite her wandering thoughts, she was able to settle into work without too much struggle, and an hour passed in what seemed like minutes.

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