Page 56 of Goalie Lessons

“Sure,” I finally manage. “If that’s a calm, happy moment in your mind.” Clearing my throat, I break the eye contact with him, and think back to what he said earlier, about getting the girls to let him in. “You know, it might make them feel more comfortable ifyoulet them into your life, too. Have you thought about bringing them to a game?”

Grayson blinks, head tilting slightly as he considers me, almost as though he’s surprised I’ve suggested it.

“Well…yeah, kind of.”

“So, why not do it? I bet they would have a lot of fun.”

“Would…would you be willing to take them? Obviously, I’d cover the tickets, but they’d need an adult with them. And they like you.”

Now it’s my turn to blink. Distantly, in the back of my mind, I know that this is dangerous. That taking the girls to a game is getting way too close. Even closer than being here for dinner tonight.

But the version of me that’s in control right now can’t say no when Grayson is looking at her like this.

And she doesn’t want to, either.

“Of course,” I say, heart fluttering dangerously against my ribcage. “Of course I would.”

Grayson

TheFrostarenahasa sold-out crowd for the first game of the regular season.

According to Sloane, most of the regular season games at our arena are sold out. I’m not sure how that’s possible, or why fans would bother coming in swarms like this. Sure, last season was moderately better than our first, but we’re still not a top team in the league.

And yet, I swear the ice vibrates beneath my feet as we skate out to warm up before the game. When I got here earlier this morning, there were already fans milling about in our gear, and it gave me a surreal feeling.

I’ve been in the league for three years now, but for some reason, when I was walking in this morning, it really hit me: I did it. I’m a professional hockey player. I’m living my dream.

Now, after warm-ups, we’re out on the ice, getting ready before the opening face-off. I stick my water bottle in the holder above the goal and turn, tossing my stick from hand to hand, trying to loosen up the tension between my shoulders.

Trying my best to stop thinking about Astrid at my place. What it was like sitting across from the dinner table with her. How seamlessly she fit into the night, how much the girls loved having her there.

This morning, while I was getting Athena ready for the day, she kept getting distracted from picking her outfit to talk about Astrid, asking when she would be coming back again.

I’d taken the opportunity to ask, “How would you like to go to a hockey game with Astrid?”

Athena had jumped up and down, immediately throwing her hands in the air with happiness. Then she’d stopped, tilted her head, and asked, “What’s hockey?”

So maybe Astrid was right. That I haven’t exactly let the girls into my life.

Now, Maverick skates by, hitting his stick against mine with a playful, pushy grin, and I roll my eyes at him. I wonder if he can tell that I’m in my head, and desperately trying to get out of it.

We’re playing the Anaheim Ducks tonight, and a small section of our crowd is the wrong color, sporting Anaheim orange instead of Milwaukee blue. Tonight, at least, the number of away fans is much smaller. When we play Minneapolis or Chicago, there are far more willing to make the trek.

“Hey, man.” Luca skates over and comes to a stop in front of me, bending his stick in front of his lap. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” I try to keep my voice level, to project that I know what I’m doing and I’m not going to let the team down. That Coach isn’t going to have to pull me from this game, like he did during the pre-season.

“Alright.” Luca grins, smacking his hands down on my shoulder pad. “You’re stellar, man. Channel all that Robo Goalie energy, alright?”

When he skates away, I let out a long breath, then pull my helmet down over my face to run some drills, block some pucks, practice butterflying down onto the ice. I’m already warmed up and loose, and now it’s just waiting for the opening face-off.

I know it’s Luca’s job as captain to make sure everyone is ready for the game, but I can’t shake the feeling that the team suddenly thinks I need a babysitter. That he’s identified me as the weak point on the team.

Two seasons ago, when I was still the back-up goalie, the weak point on the team was obviously Maverick—Luca was on his case constantly, until everything blew up with him and Callum. I thought Luca would have been happy when Maverick fucked off to Houston, but Luca constantly talked about getting him back last season.

Then, Maverick returned.

All that to say, Luca is invested. And usually, when he wants something to happen, it happens. He’s relentless like that, only focused on trying to get this team to the Stanley Cup.

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