Page 161 of Shâhzâdeh

“And that is a…”

I pressed my lips together as I blushed thinking about how much I loved that man. “Very good thing.”

“Good! Told you.” She stuck her tongue out and I knew she had been holding thatI told you sofor the last year. I bet it felt like a colonic since she finally got the chance to say it.

“I wondered how long it would be before the I told you so popped out.”

“It’s not really an I told you so. More of ayou should’ve believed in me. I’m your friend and I love you. Surely you would know I wouldn’t have you out here crazy.” She was getting too good at the Jada levels of rationalization.

“Yeah, but you gotta remember you were trying to set me up with a man who legitimately kills people, okay? RememberFight Club? I wasn’t supposed to know aboutFight Club. Couldn’t ask aboutFight Club. But you wanted me to entertainFight Club.” I leaned back against the island waiting on her to combat that argument.

“Well, you’re right. But it’s different when youmarryFight Club. Then you can ask all the questions that you want. It’s before you make that commitment that it’s frowned upon. But now we can speak as freely as we want.” Frankie was grinning like we were about to compare mafia wife stories. Since the most I’d done she’d been witness to, it would’ve been a one-sided conversation.

“I highly doubt that.”

“Anyway, you live in a big, gorgeous house. You have a life that is the complete opposite of the one you used to live. It’s gotta feel like you won.”

Her words made me pause because I had never looked at it that way. I’d been so focused on joy and then ensuring the past didn’t mess me up in the future that I hadn’t thought of it as winning. “It feels like… it… they were all for a reason. If that makes sense. I’m sure I’m not doing a good job of expressing myself.”

She stretched before glancing over at Skye who was still happily snacking and watching her TV show. “No, I get that. I don’t know if it’s the indomitable way Black folks have to rationalize suffering, but I understand how you feel. I think back on the time Li and I were separated. It helped us grown. Helped us become the people we might not have had we stayed together. We were so closely tethered to one another that we didn’t want to do too much because we were worried about the other. I hated it. I still hate it for what he missed out on. For what we missed out on. But since we’ve reconciled, things have been beautiful. Life has been beautiful.”

“And you absolutely deserve all of that and more.” Her watery eyes didn’t surprise me, but she’d been so settled into her joy that she seemed to forget just how much she herself had overcome.

“And you don’t? If suffering were the key to happiness and wealth I would say that you were more than paid back. It’s not everyday that a girl gets a husband and a crown. Shit is kind of a big deal.” Frankie was always trying to hype me up and right now was no different.

“He doesn’t even use his title so I doubt I would. But that tiara though—” Had to say, that fucking tiara was top tier impressive. It’s why I wore that thing around the house. Xerxes told me he was already planning to get me a parure of turquoise because of their significance in Persian culture. He fully enjoyed watching me lounge around the house with every piece he’d given me and nothing else. And who was I to deprive my husband of the sights he enjoyed?

“Major deal. Part of me wants y’all to have the wedding spread put inside of Charlotte Brides Magazines and for the Kennedys to see it. Fucking weirdos.”

I sighed knowing she was about to get pissed off too. “They’ve seen it.”

“How do you know?”

“Because Johnathan said something about the wedding.”

Her brows rose like she was surprised my ex’s head wasn’t hanging on the front gate. “Does Xerxes know?”

“He does. He knows stuff before I can even tell him. It was just another black mark on the tally of why he wants them to die.”

Frankie’s smile was devilish like she’d happily welcomed me to the dark side. “I love how easily you say that. Such ease. Those fools are just mad they can’t keep you hidden away in damn Huntersville or Statesville trying to force you into being someone you’re not.”

“I know things are going to have to change with that situation. I think I selfishly just wanted calm for a minute, you know? This has been an adjustment. A good one, but still changes. I didn’t want too much on us at once to the point where we forget to be us first.”

“You really like him.” The wonder was in her eyes and I had said the words, but I guess she was truly seeing it for the first time.

“I do. I always did. That was the problem. Most of the men that I went out with I didn’t like so there was no fear of attachment with them. It was the attachment part that gave me concern. Because if I liked them then I would want them around. I’d have to be vulnerable and honest and face down whatever judgment they may have. That’s a lot to ask of someone. To see the baggage I have and expect them to help me carry it.”

“And Xerx? Does he help?” She asked so eagerly, like she was riveted to the story.

“No.”

“NO?!” She looked so shocked and I had to smile at what he told me when I said the same thing.

“He tells me that my shoulders were not made for burdens and if there are any issues that need to be carried then they are his responsibility. That he would be doing the lifting that we needed because that was his job. To protect me from all aspects of my enemies: physically and mentally.”

Frankie gasped and I knew I was dramatic, but I wondered what her outburst was for. “Oh shit! You’ve crossed over.”

“What?”

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