Page 17 of The Best Bad Decision

The clouds had looked threatening all morning and I felt bad insisting that we come home, but Cam managed to turn the dash into a game, and by the time we ran through the front door, all three of us laughing, fat drops were starting to fall. Within minutes, heavy rain was lashing against the windows.

Now, I’m putting shoes away and hanging our coats on their hooks when I hear a deep chuckle, followed by a high, happy giggle.

“Lights, Mama!” Maisy demands. She pushes light brown curls from her face with an open palm, and I nod. Her face lights up first, then the room as she pushes her favourite “magic button”. It’s just an on-off switch connected to a curtain of fairy lights hung behind the sofa, but it gives the small room a cosy, ethereal glow and Mae loves it. I can’t deny her a thing—especially not on a day like this. I switch on theother strands of lights strung around the room and connect my phone to the wireless speaker. A Disney princess playlist begins to play softly and Maisy busies herself showing Cam her crayon collection, humming along to the music.

I realise there’s never going to be a better time than right now. I crouch to meet Maisy’s eyes and pull her towards me, taking comfort in the soft strawberry scent of her Curly Kid shampoo and her pure, three-year-old heart.

“What is it, Mama?” she asks, eyeing me curiously. I glance up at Cam, who is on his knees beside Maisy’s colouring table in the corner. He says nothing, but his green eyes tell me he knows what I’m about to do.

“Mae—we talked about your daddy, didn’t we?” Maisy nods, blinking up at me. “Do you remember what I said?”

“Um, you said he got lost like I did at Katy’s shop,” Maisy answers seriously. I fight the lump in my throat, panic slamming into my chest as I remember that terrifying moment when I couldn’t find Maisy after she wandered off in the supermarket where Katy works. Katy found her within minutes, but the fear has stuck with me ever since.

“I did say that,” I agree.

“And you found him like Katy found me,” Maisy claps her hands, the anxiety over getting lost quickly replaced with her usual exuberance.

“I did.” I press a kiss to her temple and inhale deeply, letting the smell of strawberries calm my nerves and give me the strength I need for this. I glance up at Cam again and he nods almost imperceptibly.I’m in this, he says;we’re in this together. I look back down at Maisy, Cam’s eyes in my little girl’s face.

“Cam is your daddy, Mae,” I say in a rush. It’s not quite the way I imagined breaking the news, but the words bubble out of me just the same as telling Cam he had a daughter, and I snap my mouth closed. Maisy looks from me to Cam, wheels turning behind her green eyes as she processes the news.

“Okay,” she says, wriggling free from my hold and returning to her crayons. “Can we have a picnic, Mama?”

After lunch—tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, eaten picnic-style on a blanket—I finally give in to Maisy’s relentless begging for another showing of The Little Mermaid. It’s her favourite movie and we’ve watched it hundreds of times, but with Cam on the sofa just feet away from me, I can’t relax.

About halfway through the film, the cracks start to deepen. Maisy crawls into Cam’s lap and snuggles against his chest. It’s not long before her soft, snuffly snores tell me she’s fallen asleep, with one tiny hand pressed against Cam’s two-day-old stubble. It’s been a while since she’s taken a daytime nap, and part of me is concerned it’ll affect her bedtime tonight—but really, I’m not all too worried about it.

It’s been a big day for all of us, her little mind is probably in overdrive with all of the day’s discoveries, and a short nap will do her some good. At least, that’s what I plan on telling myself when she won’t sleep at bedtime.

With Maisy’s eyes closed, I chance a look at the figures on the couch. Cam has one arm around her shoulders and the other around her legs, cradling her like a baby against his body. He hasn’t looked up at the screen once; he’s had his eyes locked on his daughter the whole time. A few times, he’s turned his head into Maisy’s hand on his cheek to press a gentle kiss to her palm. The stars in his eyes as he looks down at herremind me of the way he looked at me that night, and I look away with an ache in my chest.

Emotions war within me. I meant it when I told Cam I never wanted to keep Maisy from him—or keep him from her. I had a lot of growing up to do when we met, and Maisy’s arrival definitely accelerated it. The way my heart exploded when I first laid eyes on her was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. In that split second, I knew I’d crawl through glass, walk through fire, and take a thousand bullets for that tiny, squalling bundle. She deserves the best of me, and I want to give her everything. I want her to have the world, and if that includes two parents who adore her, then I want her to have that too.

Is it selfish of me to want Cam for myself, too?

It’s not long before the movie ends. As the credits roll, Maisy shifts in Cam’s arms, restless in the borderland between wakefulness and sleep, where reality tickles at the fringes of consciousness. She nuzzles closer, pushing her face into Cam’s stubbled throat and wrapping a small hand around his shoulder. Then, as the dim light of the rainy afternoon steals her from her nap, she snaps her face up to Cam’s and whispersDaddy.

That’s the moment. In his sea-storm eyes, I see his heart explode, and that explosion marks the exact moment his world shifts from pastel to neon. I watch as the million tiny pieces of his heart float like glitter on the wind, falling to surround him and cover every inch of his being. It’s the moment he truly gives in to love, and all it took was one whispered word.

“Hey Maisy Girl,” he whispers hoarsely. His eyes are glossy. He presses a kiss into her wild hair. “I’m right here, baby.”

Later, we introduce Cam to our bathtime routine. Maisy’s bath runs far longer than usual as she shrieks with laughter, splashing Cam until his shirt is soaked through to his skin. Then, as I wrap her in a towel, he excuses himself to change. I dry Maisy’s hair and dress her in a set of cat pyjamas, and she’s snuggling under the covers with Roger the dinosaur when Cam returns, clutching the gift bag he brought with him earlier.

“Hey, Maisy Girl.” He crouches beside the bed and Maisy reaches out a hand for him. He takes it and kisses her fingertips softly. “I brought you this.”

From the bag, he pulls a knitted yellow bear wearing a pilot’s uniform. It’s an almost exact replica of his own, right down to the four golden stripes on his shoulders and the name badge that saysCaptainon his chest.

“My mom made this for you, baby,” he tells her, glancing quickly at me before returning his attention to Maisy. “She thought you might like to give him a squeeze if you ever feel like you miss me.”

Maisy takes the bear with a shy smile and crushes it in her arms alongside Roger. She’s uncharacteristically quiet after her bath. I can see how hard her little mind is working to process all she’s learned today.

“What do you say, Maisy?” I prompt her from the doorway.

“Thank you,” she whispers softly. Cam kisses her head and moves to stand, but Maisy reaches out to him again. “You read a story? Please?”

His face softens, and he nods.

“Of course I’ll read to you, baby,” he tells her. “What book do you want?”

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