Page 28 of The Best Bad Decision

“Pretty much,” he hums. “What’s your favourite movie?”

“Mine? The Great Gatsby. Easy. I used to watch it in German with subtitles when I was studying. Spanish, too, but just for fun. I watched a lot of my favourites that way.” I shake my head a little, suddenly lost in the tangent of memories. “What’s yours?”

“Airplane.” He ducks his head with a smile. Predictable. But endearing. A sweet second-chance love story. My heart skips a little.

“God, I haven’t seen that for years,” I muse. “Wanna watch that? Is it even on here?”

“It is, and yeah, let’s sit and watch planes while we take time off from being on planes.”

“Like you don’t sit and watch runway live streams on YouTube.”

“Hey!” He protests. “It’sresearch.”

“It’snerd.”

I queue up the movie as he laughs, and he counts us in to press play together. I see the reflection of the image from the screen flicker across his face as his eyes flit from the TV to his phone and back again. He’s still gorgeous, even in unflattering blue light. The nostalgic smile on his face warms me, and I find myself watching him more than the movie.

I watch until my eyes grow heavy, scratching like sandpaper, and I’m barely humming a response to Cam’s periodic commentary. And at some point, I fall asleep, because I wake up with the lights still on, the TV on standby, a crick in my neck, and a text.

Cam

Thanks for watching the movie with me. Sweet dreams, Amie

“You wanna take another ride on his disco stick.” Ruth sees through my bravado, as always, with an astonishing lack of tact. It’s the day after our movie marathon, and the first day in over a week where the sun is shining and it’s not raining, and Maisy insisted we invite Katy, Roo and Paloma to the park with us. Luckily, as it’s a weekend, Ruth is free fromher corporate ties, and both Katy and Paloma had some time to spare in the afternoon. To Maisy’s delight, they all met us at the park.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Roo.” I roll my eyes. “I can’t. He’s in this for Maisy, anyway, not for me. He’s basically said as much.”

“Has he? Or is that what you told him?”

I sigh. “We—I mean, he—we’re—he’s almost forty and as far as I know, he’s never married. We’re in such different places. We’re just not compatible.” And if I don’t let him get too close, I can’t have my heart broken when he inevitably walks away. I keep one eye on Maisy as she climbs to the top of the jungle gym, hot on the heels of another little girl we see at the playground regularly. The other girl is a little older than Maisy, but she’s here often with her grandparents, and they play together a lot.

“Maybe he just hadn’t met you yet,” Paloma suggests. “Star-crossed, y’know? Like Rom and Jules.” Ruth rolls her eyes.

“He met me four years ago, Lo,” I say dryly. “And Romeo and Juliet is most definitely not a love story to aspire to.”

“Maybe he’s just not the marrying kind. Maybe he’d rather fuck and run. Different girl every night.” Ruth shrugs. “Slutty little pilot doing slutty little pilot things.”

“Roo!” Paloma jabs Ruth in the ribs with her elbow and Ruth yelps, sliding right to the edge of the bench, out of reach of Paloma’s long, bony limbs.

“I’m just saying,” she continues. “Playing devil’s advocate here. You’re right, Amie. He’s nearly forty and still single. There’s gotta be a reason. And it’s clearly not his dick, if you were telling the truth that night.”

“Maybe there isn’t a reason,” Katy supplies. She’s been quiet the whole time, sat on my other side. “Maybe he just hadn’t found someone he wanted to settle down with. Amie, you know what his life is like, always on the move. Dating is hard enough without distance and time zones.”

She’s not entirely wrong. It is hard—distance, time zones, constant movement and travel—it puts a strain on every relationship, not just the romantic ones. Sometimes, after a long flight, I barely manage to text my mum before I succumb to the jet lag.

“I’m sorry, Amie,” Ruth says. We’ve all been quiet for a moment, contemplating Katy’s words. “Just ignore me. They finally transferred Jay to a hospital here and he won’t let me see him. It’s turned me into a right grumpy bitch.”

I reach past Paloma to grab Ruth’s knee, squeezing it comfortingly. Here I am, worrying about whether or not I’m gonna get dicked by a man I’m not even dating, when Ruth’s brother almost died a few months ago.Great work, Amie.Ruth grabs my hand and squeezes it in return, smiling sadly at me. I inhale and hold my breath before exhaling slowly.

My heart wants Katy to be right. But my brain won’t let me believe anything other than Ruth.

seventeen

Cam

Gone are the dayswhen I simply run into a shop, grab what I need, and run straight back out. On a drizzly layover in Toronto, I find myself in the children’s section of a bookstore, running my fingertips over the colourful spines of books on shelves, rainbow after rainbow after rainbow of stories and facts promising to educate and amaze young minds. I have no idea what I’m looking for. The last book I bought—an impulse purchase in the airport gift shop on my way home—was a hit, and I don’t know if I can achieve that kind of success for a second time.

And then I see it.

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