Loved?

Jesus Christ.

It helps that he’s the hottest fucking man I’ve ever met.

I don’t know why I let myself be seduced that night in Singapore. I’d only had one drink before I sat beside him, and I had no intention of getting drunk or getting into bed with anyone. But something about him drew me in. He sparked something in me. Something that turned into an inferno after one more drink, something that burned so hot and so bright, it left me branded his forever. Something about him that night sparked something that still smoulders in me, four years on.

Verdammte scheiße. For fuck’s sake, Amie.

His lips are lush and full, even on a grainy FaceTime connection. When he smirks that little half-smile, a twinkle in those eyes like sun on clover fields, I feel it deep in my belly. The things I’d do to those lips. Fuck, the things I’d let those lips do to me. The things Ididlet them do to me…

“Amie? You still with me, pretty girl?” I shudder involuntarily, warmth pooling in my core, coiling and spreading throughout my limbs.Fuck, if he doesn’t stop calling mepretty girl…

But I never want him to stop.

I hope he never does. Truthfully, when he says itand he looks at me with those darkened eyes, it takes everything in me not to profess my love for him, pack up Maisy and drag the pair of them to some half-crumbled castle on a private, remote island somewhere, where we can spend the rest of our days alone, just the three of us. And where I can reenact the events of Singapore, night after night. I clench my thighs together, tensing my core muscles to try to temper the throbbing between my legs.

“I’m—I’m here. What were you saying?”

“I was just asking how Baltimore was. I know you weren’t exactly psyched for it.”

“Oh—oh, yeah. Hardly chomping at the bit for Baltimore at the best of times, but it was good. A couple of us hired a car and drove up to Gettysburg. It wasfreezing, but it was so much fun. Have you ever been?”

“Oh, thatdoessound pretty fun. I’ve never made it there—don’t even get to DC much, honestly. I don’t know why. Crew scheduling just never sends me that way.”

“I like DC. I mean, I like the museums. It’s nice in the summer. December, though? I’d rather be somewhere warm. Preferably with a cocktail.”

“Singapore was pretty warm in December, as I recall.Andthere were plenty of cocktails.”

It wasn’t justwarm.It was downright scorching; the kind of heat that left its burn imprinted on my mind, body and soul. Fuck, that little half-smile is playing at his lips again as he teases with his voice low and his eyes bright, boring into me like they know all of my filthy thoughts. I hum in agreement, partly because yes, itwaswarm, and partly because I’m so fucking head over heels and out of my mind with desire right now, I don’t think I can form real words.

“Shit, I gotta go. I only have forty minutes until van time and I still need to shower. Talk tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll be here,” I say lightly. “Fly safe.”

I don’t even recognise my voice, high-pitched and thin, strained, as I fumble to end the call before I out myself. I reach down and shove my hand into the waistband of my pyjamas. Shit, just talking to him for twenty minutes has me so wet, I’ve soaked through my shorts. I shudder involuntarily as my fingers make contact with my swollen flesh. I use one hand to ghost my fingertips over my clit whilst the other reaches for the bullet vibrator in the drawer of my bedside table. It’s freshly recharged and I fumble with the switch, almost dropping it in my haste to switch it on and push it into my pants. I tear the cotton shorts down my hips to give myself better access.

The second the toy touches me, I gasp. I move it around, slipping it through my wet folds, pressing it hard against my clit, and I bring a hand up to my chest.

Fuck, I remember the way Cam took his time with my nipples, rolling and pinching them, sucking, nipping and then soothing with his tongue. I remember the way my entire breast fit perfectly in his large hands, the way he held them, squeezed them, the way he rubbed his hard cock over my tight nipples, the way he painted them with my ownjuices before sucking them clean. The way he moved lower, licking a hot trail down my stomach to my clit.

I remember the way he sucked me into his mouth, pushing his fingers inside and fucking me with his hand. I rode his hand and his face like a cowgirl on horseback. Like I was on a mission. I still remember everything about that night.

He sank to his knees, kissing a line down my throat and chest, leaving a wet trail of saliva to evaporate and cool my overheated skin. He continued down my body, tapping each of my ankles once, a silent question, a demand to lift so he could remove the scrap of black lace, and then kissed the strip of neatly-trimmed hair between my legs. I gasped at the gentle contact and he lifted my right leg, bending it at the knee and draping it over his shoulder. He paused for a moment just to look at me, already slick with arousal, and my flesh swollen, ready and needy. He dove in and licked once, a long swipe of his tongue ending with a light flick at my clit. My entire body trembled as he pulled back.

“Sweetest pussy I’ve ever tasted,” he declared, and immediately returned his attention to the space between my legs. He focused on my clit, lavishing it with his tongue, and I soaked his stubbled chin with my arousal as his tongue flicked and circled my sensitive flesh. My body tensed, my panting and whimpering reaching a fever pitch, and that’s when he pushed two fingers inside and curled them. I fell apart instantly, quaking and squeezing around his digits and he smirked between my legs as he continued to lick and suck, determined not to waste a drop.

He continued to pump his fingers in and out lightly as I came down from my high.

“How was that for you, pretty girl?” he asked, his voice a low rumble against my belly.

“Incredible,”I sighed. “But I want more.”

I need more. I thrust the vibrator in and out, clearing my mind of everything but the low buzz of the motor and the obscene wet sounds as I fuck myself as hard and as fast as I can with my toy. My body needs the release.Ineed the release.

I haven’t been with anyone since that night—since Cam ruined me for anyone else. No one, vibrator or human, can come close to the way he made me come, the colours he showed me, the stars I saw. I pant heavily, desperate and writhing, hands between my legs beneath the sheets, wishing it was him. It feels filthy; a dirty little secret I should be ashamed of, but I’m not.

I’m not, I’m not, I’m—