Page 29 of The Way We Fell

It feels good to work with my hands. I stick a magnetic torch to the underside of the bonnet and root around in the engine block, cleaning and replacing and tightening as I go. It’s cathartic, repetitive work, and I find myself hyper-focusing. Which is good, because it means I’m not thinking about other things.

Like Katy Keller, and the way she bites her lower lip when she’s anxious. Or the way her eyes twinkle when she cracks a joke. Or the way she smiles at me, and the way her brown eyes burn through my chest and into my soul, recognising every emotion before I have a chance to process them myself. Sometimes, I wonder if Katy has planted something in my head, because she always seems to be one step ahead of me when it comes to how I feel.

And now I’m thinking about Katy Keller again. Fucking great.

Chapter thirteen

Katy

Ispendmostofthe week after the beer festival at Amie’s house, alternating Maisy-duty with Ruth while Amie and Cam are both working. Amie’s home now, in the shower, and Ruth and I are sitting in her living room, waiting for her to emerge for an overdue gossip session. Ruth met a man in a cowboy hat on her recent work trip to New York, and while she’s already told me all about him, we’re both keen to hear Amie’s take on it.

“You okay, Roo?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She nudges my shoulder, not-so-subtly pushing me further along the sofa as she squeezes in beside me.

“You just seem a little bit… not your usual self. You know I’m here, right?”

“I know.” She wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into her side, tipping her head to rest it on mine. “I’m okay, Sweet Thing. Promise. Jay said you helped him get a new job, though.” She peers around me, smiling softly at our goddaughter who is snoring softly. Maisy and her beloved stuffed dinosaur, Roger, are sprawled out on one side of the two-seat sofa, taking up far more space than a tiny girl has a right to. It’s a good thing she’s cute. Upstairs, the roaring sound of running water stops as Amie turns off the shower.

“Oh—oh, yeah, I just passed the details along. Kev—you know, the manager? Well, his dad owns Charltons, the casino chain, and he mentioned they were looking for someone to head their security team. It just sounded ideal for him, so I let him know.”

“Well, thanks.” Ruth leans her head against my shoulder. “And thanks for being his friend. I worry about him sometimes.”

“I’m sure he’s fine,” I say. But I’m not. Not really. He’s definitely notfine, in that sense at least, and the worst thing is seeing the battle in his eyes and not knowing how to stop the war. And he still hasn’t told Ruth the real reason for leaving his previous job—about being attacked. As far as she knows, he left that job because he was bored. It’s not my story to tell, so I keep my mouth shut, but keeping secrets from Ruth is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

“He just doesn’t have many friends,” Ruth says. She pops a Malteser in her mouth and offers me the tray. I take one for myself. “He’s been gone for so long. He’s lost so many people. If he didn’t have you dragging him to your weird beer place, he’d probably never leave his flat.”

“Weird beer place?” I raise an eyebrow in playful indignance.

“You know what I mean.” Ruth nudges me again. “I like that you’re friends. He needs friends. What he really needs is to loosen the fuck up and get laid, but—ugh, please god, no, I don’t want to think about my brother having sex. Especially not with my best friend. You’re too nice in the streets and kinky in the sheets. He needs—I don’t know what. But there’s no way I’m letting you anywhere near him. He’s too fucked up; he’d absolutely ruin you. You’re far too sweet. I’m not letting him date. He needs time. A lot of it. Maybe decades.” She shudders dramatically.

“I like being his friend,” I say quietly. I’m not sure if Ruth’s short monologue was an insult or a compliment, so I ignore the rest of it, choosing instead to focus on stroking Maisy’s soft curls as she shifts in her sleep and rests her head against my thigh.

“Someone has to,” Ruth chuckles.

Ruth is my best friend. I tell her everything, and we’ve been together through every big moment in our lives. But I don’t know if I can tell her about the impure thoughts I’ve been having about her big brother. I don’t know what I’ll do if she ever finds out.

Jay and I have been working our weekly lunch dates around my shifts and his, trying to find times that suit both of us with different shift patterns, but since leaving his cash in transit job, he’s been able to come and meet me whenever I can make it. I spot him waiting outside the door and jog over, already apologising as I tuck myself into his waiting embrace.

“I’m so sorry, I got called into work to cover for a couple of hours and—”

“Don’t sweat, Princess, it’s fine.” Jay pulls out of our hug but leaves one hand resting lightly between my shoulder blades as he holds the door open with the other. I duck beneath his arm to step inside and his cologne mingles with the warm bakery smells, leaving me horny and hungry all at the same time. We find a table and I clench my thighs as I sit.

“So, tell me about the job,” I say, sliding one menu towards Jay and one to me. I don’t even need to look at it at this point. We’ve almost worked our way through the entire thing now, and since the beer festival, we’ve started to keep lists of our favourites on our phones so we can come back to them.

“What do you want to know?” He shrugs off his jacket and a blur of ink peeks out below each sleeve of his T-shirt. It strikes me that I’ve never seen him in short sleeves. I didn’t even know he had any tattoos. His forearms are thick, corded muscle rippling with every movement as he grasps the menu booklet and flips it open to the first page. My mouth is suddenly very dry, and I swallow thickly before realising he asked me a question.

“Everything, obviously,” I respond cheekily.Fuck, stop looking at his arms. “You’ve started, right? How did it go?”

“It was fine,” he starts. “It’s nothing especially exciting at the moment. A lot of learning about the company. You know they’ve got fifteen casinos just in the UK? And there’s talk of a North American expansion, too.”

“Wow.” I nod, impressed. “I thought it was just a couple across London, I had no idea it was such a huge deal.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty big fish. And as head of security, I get to deal with any issues. Oversee and implement security policies. They all have local management, but that local management now reports to me.”

“Are there many issues?”

“Nah,” he says. “Not really. Worst is someone getting a bit too wankered and being escorted out, or trying to count cards. I just have to review the camera footage, confirm, and sign off on any paperwork.”

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