Page 71 of The Way We Fell

She leads me to the sofa and fiddles with the TV remote while I fumble around in the drawer beneath the coffee table. The blue glow of a Disney title page fills the room as I emerge from the drawer, triumphantly waving a small box.

“What is that?”

“Wanna play dominoes, Princess?”

“You didn’t. Tell me you didn’t.”

“I absolutely did.”

About a month ago, we found ourselves talking about our childhood favourites. Katy told me about her obsession with dominoes, and how often she would play it with anyone who would join her. I didn’t exactly go looking for them, but I was browsing a secondhand sales website for car parts when I clicked the wrong category and an elaborate, hand-painted set of domino tiles in a wooden box popped up. It felt like fate. I bought them immediately. Katy gasps as I hand over the box and she slides off the lid. The wooden tiles are that deep, bold pink that Katy loves, and they’ve been painted with tiny gold flowers and hearts rather than the usual simple dots.

“Jay, they’re gorgeous.”

“Not as gorgeous as you.” I pull her into my side asRatatouillebegins to play on the screen in front of us, entirely ignored as Katy lays out the tiles on the table, reverent gasps punctuating her work. I drop another kiss to the top of her head. “You deserve all the nice things, Princess. And I’m going to give you as many of them as I can, for as long as you’ll let me.”

She lifts her head to meet my eyes, a hopeful smile lifting the corners of her mouth.

“Forever?”

“Sounds good to me.”

Chapter thirty-six

Katy

WhenIarriveatRuth’s flat the evening before Jay’s birthday, I’m entirely unsurprised to hear the mellow guitar of theLoveralbum playing in the background. Jay, his parents, and Amie and Cam are already here, and Paloma slips through the door behind me. I spot a handful of other faces, and deduce from a little eavesdropping that they’re a couple of security guards from the casino, and their partners. I smile indulgently as I fill a large glass with my favourite Sauvignon Blanc before Ruth’s parents stop me on my way across the room.

“Katy, darling, look at you!” Ellen Bevan hugs me tightly, then pulls away to hold me at arm’s length as her dark eyes scan me from head to toe. “You look beautiful! Are you well?” I nod.

“I’m great, thanks Mama B. How about you? I haven’t seen you for ages.” I smile a little self-consciously. I’m wearing a new dress—one Paloma talked me into buying, and Amie talked me into wearing. It’s much more form-fitting than I usually choose, but the ruched detail down the front is flattering and the colour—soft, dusty rose—is my favourite. It highlights what’s left of my Mexico tan without washing me out. I usually opt for something in a skater style, with a flared skirt to skim over the curve of my hips and the belly that, no matter how much I exercise or how healthily I eat, remains just a little more soft and rounded than I’d like.

“Oh, darling, I’m fabulous.” Ellen grins indulgently as her husband holds out a glass of wine. She takes it and brings it to her face, inhaling before taking a sip. “I hear you’re studying counselling now?”

“Yeah, it… it was a bit of a surprise to me, too,” I laugh nervously. “But I really love it. I love helping people. And I’m learning a lot.”

“Maybe you ought to have a chat with Jay sometime,” Chris suggests lightly. He leans in from where he stands behind his wife, arms wrapped around her lovingly. His voice is quiet, to prevent Jay from hearing us from across the room, and the contrast of his strong Estuary accent with his wife’s prim and proper received pronunciation always makes me smile. “I bet he’d make a great case study.”

“Maybe I will,” I hum noncommittally.

“That’s a wonderful idea! Ruth did mention the two of you were friendly,” Ellen says. “How is he doing? Really?”

I’m taken aback by her question, by the intensity in her gaze. By the way she could probably see right through me without even trying. She’s known me just about half my life now, and she’s always had a quiet sort of power to her—a way of seeing through everyI’m fineandit wasn’t me. I carefully school my features into something neutral. “He’s… good,” I say. And it’s the truth. “He’s working hard. He’s getting there.”

The smile returns to Ellen’s face, and she’s soon whisked away by her husband to investigate Ruth’s food preparation. I refill my wine glass and cross the room to stand beside Paloma, who’s looking out at a pretty sunset over the river with a wistful smile on her face.

“You good, Lo?”

“I’m good, K,” she says. She bumps my shoulder with her own. “Are you good?”

“Yeah,” I say with a soft smile. My eyes are fixed on Jay’s reflection in the window as he hugs his parents and his sister on the other side of Ruth’s flat. “I’m good.”

We stand in silence for a few moments, enjoying the view, before Paloma squeezes me in a sideways hug and trots off to chat to Ruth.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way he’s imagining that dress on his bedroom floor.” Amie nudges me with a bony elbow as she joins me by the window. It’s harder to be here than I thought, trying to keep our relationship a secret with all of our friends and family around us.

“Come off it, A.”

“I’m so for real right now, babe. You look smokin’ hot.” Amie swaps our glasses, taking a large mouthful of my wine before swapping them back and washing it down with her Sprite. “I know you said you like him, but have you ever considered he might like you too?”