Page 77 of The Way We Fell

There’s a long beat of silence before he clears his throat to speak again.

“I wasn’t alone in the jeep.”

“I know, love.” I press my hand closer to his chest. I know he wasn’t alone that day. I know it was the day he lost his best friend. He’s told me that detail before, but I also think I’m starting to understand what he’s trying to tell me now. And it’s something that has my stomach twisting, the lump rising in my throat.

“No, Katy. You don’t understand.” There’s a frantic edge to his tone; a desperate urgency in the way he’s pleading with me, begging me to understand so he doesn’t have to say the words out loud. But I ask anyway, and he answers. He needs to say it, and I need to hear it.

“Explain it to me, love.”

“I wasn’t alone in the jeep last night. I wasn’t alone, because you were being burned alive next to me.” He chokes on the words. “You were there. I dragged you into this with me.”

“You didn’t, baby, I’m right here.”

His arm tightens around me, holding me tightly enough to hurt. My breath leaves my lungs in an anguished sob, one I don’t even recognise as mine until Jay’s large hands cradle my face, brushing away the tears with the pads of his thumbs.

“I came—I had to see you. I had to see you were okay.”

“I’m okay, love, I promise. I’m here. We’re both safe here.”

Chapter forty

Jay

“I’vebeendoingsomereading,” Katy says. She’s stirring a pot of bubbling tomato sauce, and somehow, there’s a red smear on her nose. I reach across the counter to swipe it away with the pad of my thumb.

“Cowboys again? Who’s getting tied up now?”

“No, actually.” She sticks her tongue out. “But if you want me to tie you up, you only have to ask.”

“Don’t tempt me with a good time, Princess,” I murmur, wrapping my arms around her waist and lowering my lips to meet the curve of her ear. She shivers as my breath hits her skin. “What have you been reading about this time?”

“Puppies.”

“Puppies?” I step to one side, turning her in my arms to face me.

“Well—service dogs, really.”

“I don’t—”

“Just hear me out? Please.” The Jay of a few months ago would’ve pushed back harder, but the earnestness on Katy’s face, and the way she feels so perfect, so right, the way she makes me feel sosafewhen she’s in my arms tells me to stop. To just hold her, and listen. Katy is my safe place to land. She’s been right about a lot of things so far—why not this? I nod, and she continues.

“So, there’s this charity—Hero Pups, it’s called.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard of them.”

“Well, then you know. They train puppies as service dogs and they can help withsomuch. It’s not just for people who need physical assistance like sight or hearing or opening doors.” Katy turns the heat off and leaves the wooden spoon on a plate beside the hob. “Their dogs help with PTSD and anxiety. They can recognise things like hyper-vigilance and the onset of a panic attack, and intercept it before it starts. They can interrupt nightmares and panic attacks and dissociative episodes. Honestly, love—I think it would be good for you.”

“A puppy? You’re serious?”

“Not just any puppy,” she says with a smile. “Aheropuppy.”

“A hero puppy.”

“I’ll send you the website. Just… think about it. It would be good for you.”

“Are you sure it’s not just because you love puppies and you want an excuse to have one around?”

“I think it would be good for you because I care about you, and because the other night scared me. Because there are still nights when we’re apart, and a hero puppy might be able to help you.”

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