Page 85 of The Way We Fell

Chapter forty-four

Katy

Anotherfewdayspassby in a blur of classes, essays, and Maisy. She’s proven herself to be an excellent distraction, demanding a trip to the zoo as soon as Amie and Cam have left for their respective flights. We’ve agreed to meet Paloma at the zoo’s entrance, and I’m scanning the area, looking out for her flaming red hair as I hold one of Maisy’s warm, slightly clammy hands in mine to walk through the park. She uses her whole body to swing my arm, giggling happily and pointing out every dog we pass with a wide grin.

“Can a puppy live with me and Mama, Aunty K?”

I pause, mid-stride, and Maisy stumbles. I rush to right her, situating her back on her feet, and she gazes at me with solemn green eyes.

“I don’t know about that one, Maisy. Maybe you should ask Mama?”

“Yeah! I ask Mama!” I make a mental note to warn Amie of the impending line of questioning, and then I spot Paloma waiting for us, shielding her eyes with her hand and leaning against the trunk of an enormous old oak.

“Aunty Lolo!” Maisy drops my hand and runs to Paloma, who drops into a crouch when she spots us, waiting just a few feet away with her arms open wide.

“Hi, Miss Maisy!” Paloma sweeps Maisy into her arms and I wipe my hand on my jeans. My goddaughter is cute as hell, but she’s a kid, and kids are kind of gross. It doesn’t stop me wishing for an entire football team of Jay’s mini-me's, though. The thought of little boys with his lopsided smile melts me a little, and I can’t help but think I’d give anything to experience that joy with him. To be someone’s mum, and have him be their dad. I’ve only known him since January, and we’ve only been dating since April, but I’m more certain of how I feel than I’ve ever been about anything in my life. I want to love that man forever.

“Your hair looks cute,” Paloma says to me as she stands, holding Maisy’s hand. Maisy grabs my hand again with her other one and we continue to walk. With my free hand, I smooth down the flyaway hairs poking out of the braids running from my temples to the back of my head, where they’re woven into a larger braid and held in place with a hair clip shaped like a crescent moon.

“Thanks, love.Youlook cute.”

“Don’t I? I found this dress in a vintage sale last week. I couldn’t resist. I made a big booking last week too, I deserve it.”

“What? Lo, that’s amazing! Tell me everything!”

Paloma scrolls through her phone and flashes a zoo membership card at the young girl in the entrance booth. I do the same, and then pull Maisy’s plastic membership card from my pocket. Once we’re in, we make a beeline for the play area where Maisy can run around for a few minutes in a confined space and Lo and I can talk.

“So it’s product photography, which you know isn’t my fave, but there’s loads of productsandthey’re letting me get creative with it, so I’m excited.” She scrolls through her phone again and shows me a website. It’s acoming soonpage for an up-and-coming business specialising in handmade, all-organic cosmetic and skincare products.

“That’s amazing, Lo. I’m so proud of you, love.”

“Thanks, K,” she says with a grin. We sit on a recently-vacated bench, and Paloma tips her head to rest on my shoulder. “What about you? You look… different. Happy. Army Boy taking good care of you?”

Paloma waggles her eyebrows with her tongue between her teeth, and I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face.

“He’s amazing, Lo.”

“I can tell.”

“Not just that, jeez. He’s—god, Lo. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this. I feel so scrambled, you know? When I’m with him I’m so happy,sofucking happy, but then I remember how much this is destroying his relationship with his sister, and… fuck, I miss Roo so much. I never wanted to hurt her, you know? I hated hiding this. I never wanted to hurt her.”

“I know. She’ll come around, Katy.” Paloma holds both of my hands in hers before wrapping her long arms around me. I breathe in her sweet magnolia perfume, taking deep breaths as I hang onto her as long as I can. “She just needs to lick her wounds.”

“How long does she need to lick for?”

Paloma bursts out laughing as we pull apart.

“Aunty K, look!” We both look over at Maisy as she stands on a platform at the top of the highest of three slides. She waves both arms at us before dropping to a seated position and pushing herself down the long metal ramp, sliding to the ground with a head of speed. She overcooks her landing and stands up, before pitching forward and landing on her knees on the springy, rubberised floor. I brace myself for tears, but she stands immediately and runs over with a wide grin.

“Aunty Lo, Aunty K, did you see?”

“We saw, Mae-Mae! You were amazing!” Paloma stands, taking one of Maisy’s hands in hers. “How about we go and visit some elephants?”

“Yeah!” Maisy cheers and grabs my hand. “Let’s say hi to the effy-lants!”

After a busy morning at the zoo, Paloma and I take Maisy home to find Suze sitting outside on the doorstep, enjoying the spring sunshine and waiting for her granddaughter. We leave them building a beach scene with plastic dinosaurs on the living room floor. I left my car on the street outside Amie’s house earlier, and Paloma and I both pile into it now, waving at Maisy’s green eyes at the window as I drive away.

Paloma’s small flat is cosy and dark, with art on every wall, knick-knacks on every surface and plants in every other available space. It smells like Paloma—like dark berries and fresh magnolia, with a little hint of smoky incense from the small wooden box in the corner.

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