Page 86 of The Way We Fell

“This is new,” I say, running a finger over the edge of a canvas propped on top of a vintage dresser. Everything in Lo’s home is vintage or hand-crafted; a mismatch of styles and colours and so perfectlyPaloma. It’s the kind of place I love on Pinterest but could never put together myself.

It’s eclectic and effortlessly chic. It’s far too maximalist for me, but it’s perfect for Lo, and I love exploring it while I’m here. I follow Lo down the short hallway and into her living room, while she calls out to me from the kitchen.

“Yeah, I got it at the art market a few days ago. Cute artist I’ve met a few times over the years. She makes jewellery too, you’d really love her work actually. I’m doing some promo shoots for her soon if you fancy modelling for it?”

The canvas is painted with a collection of colours and textures; earthy greens and browns, with a little gold running through it all. It looks like a forest, like early spring, like frosty mornings and sunny afternoons, picnics, and walks with coats and sunglasses. It makes me think of Jay’s eyes. It makes me feel all of these things, just with abstract paint strokes. I brush a finger over a raised, textured edge of paint.

“Yeah, maybe…” I hum. I’ve modelled for Paloma plenty of times over the years, for fun and for commissioned shoots. “Maybe I’ll pop by the market next month, if I’m not working.”

“Or studying. I can’t believe you’re back in school, K. How’s it going?”

“Really well,” I say with a big smile. Paloma places a steaming mug on the end table beside me. “I’ve completed almost all of my credits now. I think I might try to enroll on the foundation degree, you know. One of the tutors said she’d recommend me for it.”

“Shit, K. That’s big.”

“Yeah… I really love it, you know? I feel like I’ve finally found what I should be doing.”

“And to think, all it took was Army Man’s big dick.” She smirks and takes a sip of something orange from a vintage tumbler.

“Well, it was haunted eyes and a panic attack, but go off, sis,” I answer with a laugh. It feels so good to laugh with a friend, after moping about the state of my relationship with Ruth for most of the last few days.

“Shit,” Lo says again, sobering a little. “He’s really been through it, huh.”

“Yeah… he has. But he’s doing so well. He’s getting there, he’s working so hard on himself. Lo, he told me he loves me.” I lean forward like I’m spilling the world’s biggest secret.

I can’t stop the tears that well in my eyes, or the grin that splits my face as I remember the moment. It’s a memory I know I’ll take to my grave. It felt like time stopped, like the world stopped turning, just for a second. And then, with those three words, all of a sudden, the Earth turned again, this time in a Technicolor I’d never known before.

Paloma squeals, shifting to the edge of her seat and leaning forward towards me.

“Oh mygod, K! That’s so huge! Did you say it?”

“Of course I did!” I laugh through tears. “I think I might have said it first, I don’t really know. It’s a little hazy.” I wipe the tears from my eyes.

“Oh my god, this is so exciting. Two down, and Roo and her Cowboy Boo sound pretty serious too… oh my god, I’m so excited!”

“What about you, huh?” I turn the conversation to her. “Any cute girls in the picture? Any cute boys?”

“Oh, there’s always cute girls. And cute boys. But, you know me. I’m happy to use ‘em and lose ‘em.” Paloma laughs brightly, but I know her well enough to hear the self-deprecation in her voice and see the longing in her expression.

“Oh, Lo,” I chide jokingly. “You deserve love. And you’ll find it, I promise. How ever it comes.”

“Oh, something will definitely come.” She bites her tongue and waggles her eyebrows, and I sigh indignantly whilst laughing and rolling my eyes. My phone buzzes on the arm of the sofa and I flip it over, scanning the screen quickly to see Cam’s name and plenty of exclamation marks.

Cam

it arrived!!!!!!

I tap furiously for a second while Paloma watches with interest.

Katy

SHOW ME

Cam

it’s with my parents in PHX. Didn’t trust myself to keep it safe here AND hide it from Amie.

After a moment, more grey dots appear, and I spin my phone around so Paloma can see the message thread. Her eyes widen as she reads from Cam’s earlier messages, almost turning into comical cartoon hearts when she sees the photos we’ve sent back and forth. My phone buzzes again in Paloma’s hand and she thrusts it back to me.

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