Page 17 of The Cold Ride

Wyatt nodded at the lobby with the tarps and construction. “You look like you’ve got your hands full with this place.”

I sighed. “Yeah, I know. And if I can’t get it all fixed by the time the spring tourist season kicks into high gear, I’m going to be forced to sell it.”

“We could stay and help out for a few days,” James offered. But the offer was laced with ulterior motives, and we both knew it.

Lucas agreed with a nod. “He’s right. Besides, Evan would want us to stay and help you out. And if you’re offering free room and board, we don’t mind working for it. We have a few days we can spare.”

I eyed James. Tension riddled him while he waited for my answer. In all honesty, I desperately needed the help.

James was asking me for time to get to know Amelia. He deserved that time. And I wasn’t going to keep them apart. I’d done that for the first part of her life. It wasn’t fair of me to hoard her all to myself any longer. It was time she got to know her father. And perhaps it was time I laid old ghosts to rest. “I’d appreciate the help. You’re welcome to stay as long as you would like.”

Wyatt made the call. “We’re at your service for a few days. But then we’ll have to head off to our next destination.”

“Any help would be appreciated. I usually start once Amelia catches the bus at seven. You’re welcome to join us for breakfast at six and then again at dinner.” I’d put together that egg casserole and have it prepped so that I’d only have to pop it in the oven in the morning. And I could toss together the ingredients for biscuits tonight and refrigerate the dough so it will be ready in the morning.

“We’ll say goodnight, then,” Wyatt replied, rising from his seat.

Everyone stood and left, climbing the stairs to their rooms, except James. I steeled myself. This conversation was long overdue, and I couldn’t run from it any longer. And we both knew it. If I tried to avoid it, he would remove the decision from my hands and introduce himself to Amelia as her father. As hard as the discussion would be, I remained seated.

We waited until they left before we began. Until it was just the two of us, staring across the expanse that felt wider than the Pacific.

8

God, she was beautiful.

That hadn’t changed in ten years. If anything, she’d grown even more beautiful. Being near her again had me twisted up inside. Because the sad truth was, I still wanted her. I ached to touch her. And I knew it made me a pathetic motherfucker. Yet there had never been a woman who made me feel the way she did.

But it didn’t excuse what she’d done.

“Why, Rory? Why didn’t you tell me about her?” I didn’t understand why she’d kept Amelia a secret from me. It made no logical sense. And I was all mixed up inside seeing her again, being near her again. I thought I had gotten her out of my system. But my body told a different story. It acted like a bloodhound scenting steak.

And it pissed me off further.

She clenched her hands together in her lap before responding. “Because it was complicated. I was in the middle of a divorce and didn’t want to disclose my pregnancy until after it was finalized because I knew it wasn’t Evan’s child. I knew it was yours the moment I discovered I was pregnant. But by then, you were deployed overseas. I knew contacting you would be tricky. I planned to tell you when you returned from deployment, but life got in the way.”

I didn’t know whether I should believe her. Because of her, I betrayed one of my closest friends. And I never told him, never admitted what I had done, and that was on me. I chose the coward’s way out. But that stopped now. “I want shared custody. I want to get to know her. And she needs to know I’m her father.”

“We’ll tell her together tomorrow when she gets home from school. I’m not trying to put you off or trick you. She knows your name and that you’ve been overseas fighting for our country and that is why you couldn’t be with her. If you want to be angry at someone, then be angry at me. But so help me, James, if you’re mean or cruel to her in any way, I will end you. And if you don’t want to be part of her life, I understand. But don’t you dare make her promises you don’t mean or intend to follow through on, because I will be the one picking up the pieces.” She pressed a hand against her chest.

“You really love her.” The fierceness behind her statement knocked me off my axis. I wasn’t sure why it surprised me. From the moment we met, she’d shocked me time and again. But her love for our daughter was tangible. And I hated that a part of me still yearned for her, to have her feel that way about me.

“More than life. And I will protect her from everything and everyone—including you. So don’t be an asshole. I know you’re angry, and you have every right to be. Just make sure to keep it directed at me and not at her.”

“I still can’t believe you kept my daughter from me.” And every time I tried to wrap my head around it, it left me grasping at paper-thin explanations.

“It wasn’t intentional, I assure you.” She leaned back in her seat and defensively crossed her arms.

“Yeah, well, your assurances mean diddly squat. I lost out on nine years of her life thanks to you.” But I was also floored that she had done it on her own because I knew it couldn’t have been easy.

“All I can say is I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t make up for the time you’ve lost. And I’m not about to ask for forgiveness when I know I don’t deserve it.”

“If we hadn’t come here to deliver Evan’s letter, would you have ever contacted me and told me about her?”

She hesitated with a slight grimace. But her hesitation was the only explanation I needed.

I exploded out of my seat, pacing away from her before swiveling around and pegging her with a furious scowl. “Son of a bitch! You wouldn’t have. Just when did you plan on telling me about my daughter?”

Tears rimmed her lashes as she shook her head. “I don’t know. I’ve been a little busy raising a daughter and running a business.”