Page 18 of The Cold Ride

Her excuse was flimsy at best, and we both knew it. Flexing my hands, the desire to spank the fucking hell out of her rode me like a drill sergeant. “Likely story. But I’m not buying it. From here on out, I want full shared custody on everything. I’ll send support payments every month. That way, anything she needs, you’ll have the money for.”

“I don’t want your money,” she growled through clenched teeth.

“It’s not for you. It’s for Amelia. And we can either make an agreement between us, or we can get lawyers involved. Take your pick. Because I’m not going to have you tell me to my face it will go one way and then the moment we leave, you decide you’re not going to adhere to what we agreed upon.”

She appeared hurt that I would even suggest such a thing. “I wouldn’t do that.”

“I don’t believe you. Because the woman I thought I knew would have picked up the fucking phone and told me she was pregnant with my kid or emailed me if I was overseas. Anything but hide my daughter from me.”

She tossed her hands up. “James, I wasn’t trying to hide her from you. Life just got in the way. I wanted to wait until my divorce was finalized. But then she was here, and I was working and raising an infant. But I thought about contacting you all the time.”

“You sure about that? I get you were ashamed of being with me that night—”

She jerked back like I struck her. “No, I wasn’t—”

But I didn’t want to hear her excuses and didn’t need her platitudes. “I wasn’t finished. But I never thought you would stoop so low that you would pull something like this.”

Needing distance before I sat and pulled her across my knees, I headed toward the stairs. Because what I really wanted was to pull her over my lap and give her a fucking spanking. Something, anything to ease the heartache. I’d never gotten over her. I’d idolized her. Put her on a pedestal.

“James, I truly am sorry.”

Glancing over my shoulder, I said, “I’m sure you are. Take tonight to consider whether you want to get lawyers involved to draw up a custody agreement. You can let me know your decision in the morning.”

And I strode away, taking the stairs two at a time.

9

10 years ago

Oh boy, did he smell good. I had no idea what cologne he wore, but there were notes of sandalwood and bergamot. And I wanted to rub my face against his chest and inhale him. Leaning against his firm side, tingles pinged low in my belly. But he was sweet with the way he’d put his arm around my shoulders to comfort me. It had been far too long since I’d been held this way. And it had never felt this good with anyone else.

I knew I shouldn’t do this. It was so wrong. I didn’t even know where to start. But I couldn’t get past how right it felt. How righthefelt. And I wasn’t ready to let him go.

“Tell me about yourself?” I was insatiably curious about him. It had been a long time since anyone had held my interest, and never like this.

“What do you want to know?” He glanced down at me. Shadows played with his features, but god, he was handsome. His nose was slightly crooked, looking like it had been broken a time or two. But it fit his strong features. Thick, dark brows framed his eyes I knew were dark in color, and it felt like I could drown in them. That inside him was everything I’d ever wanted in a man. And I didn’t know how to wrap my head around that inconvenient truth.

He was clean-shaven with a proud jaw. But it was his lips that caught the bulk of my attention. Because I wanted them on me. They were firm and wide, curling up in a sexy smirk I felt all the way down to my toes.

Our meeting felt fated. Dumb, right? It was a stupid, childish sentiment. But I couldn’t deny the feelings stirring within me. I wanted him, and it had been a long time since I had wanted anyone, and never quite this way.

What did I want to know about him? “Everything,” I replied and got an even bigger smile from him. Because we were both feeling the inexplicable pull. I shivered when his eyes dipped down to my mouth like he was thinking about kissing me. “But we can start with your family and where you’re from.”

“I grew up in Knoxville, Tennessee. My dad is a cop. My mom’s a middle school vice principal. I have a sister. Jenn’s three years older than me and teaches fifth grade.”

“And what was your home life like?” My home life had been bad. Although in a sick and twisted way, I enjoyed hearing about other people’s experiences. Hearing their stories gave me hope that one day I would have a nice, normal family. One that loved and supported each other through everything.

“It was good. My sister and I fought growing up. Like there was this one time I accidentally decapitated one of her dolls. But in my defense, my army guys were trying to rescue the damn thing, but the enemy took matters into their own hands.”

“I would have been pissed at you too. Don’t you realize you don’t mess with a girl’s dolls?” I playfully teased with a gentle nudge against his side.

He chuckled, and the rich, deep timbre hit me square in the chest. “I do now. But back then, the outcry was pretty substantial.”

“Do you two still fight like that?” I couldn’t help but wonder if life would have been easier, better even, with a sibling to survive my dad’s house.

“Nah. We’re the best of friends. She sends me care packages all the time. She even has her students make cards for me that she sends around the holidays, especially when I’m deployed.”

“That’s nice. And it’s something I want.” Family was the one thing I’d always wanted but had sadly lacked in my life.

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