Page 27 of The Cold Ride

“That makes two of us,” I said, as my heart painfully squeezed. “And if you don’t, then you don’t. But I won’t begrudge you any time you want to spend with her. And when you retire from the military, if you retire, I should say, and if you want her to come stay with you for the summer, we can work that out.”

“I still don’t know what I’m doing,” he admitted glumly.

I really laughed then. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. None of us do. It’s a crapshoot every damn day. Some days you earn those gold stars. And then other days you think you shouldn’t be entrusted with a Beta fish, let alone a human child. It’s hard, and it’s every day, but you figure it out as you go. And if you have any questions about how I’ve done things with her when it comes to discipline, responsibilities, play time, favorite meals, just ask. I’ll tell you everything you need to know.”

He nodded. “I just don’t want to screw it up.”

“You will. It’s part of being a parent. You’ll make mistakes. I know I certainly have over the years. And I’m sure I will make plenty more before she heads off to college. But here’s something that might help—she already thinks you’re amazing and loves you. Focus on the love portion, and the rest will come.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. And it looks like taking the job up here worked out for you.”

“It did.” I remembered when I first pulled up to the inn all those years ago. I’d been heartbroken and disillusioned by life. And I’d fallen in love the moment I looked at the place.

“How did you wind up owning the inn?”

“The original owners sold it to me three years ago. When Sue was diagnosed with dementia, Henry knew he couldn’t run the inn and take care of his wife. So he offered me a bargain price to buy the place and take it off their hands with the stipulation that they could continue to live here because he didn’t want to move Sue from the only home she’d known for fifty years. But then, Henry got sick right after he sold it to me. Cancer. I took care of them until they each passed.”

“Why? Why did you take care of them? Didn’t they have family?”

“No. They had a son who died years ago, and he didn’t have any kids. They took me in and gave me a job doing something I love. And when I told them I was pregnant, it was Sue who went to Lamaze classes with me. It was Henry who drove me to the hospital when I went into labor. They took care of me and became my family. They adored Amelia. Treated her like she was their grandchild and she loved them back.”

“I’m glad you had help. And I’m sorry for being such an ass back then. Maybe . . . it doesn’t matter now. The past is done.”

“Why did you kiss me last night?”

He stared as if he was weighing how to answer. His gaze dipped to my lips and back up. For a second, he looked like the James I’d met that night, but then he shook himself and was a total badass stoic warrior, closing himself off from me. “I don’t know. It was an emotional day, and I just—sorry, it won’t happen again.”

I stepped closer, invading his space. “Or maybe you kissed me because you wanted to. Maybe you did it because there’s always been this pull between us.”

He scoffed. “That’s preposterous. And like I said, it won’t happen again.” But he didn’t back away. He wouldn’t, though. It wasn’t in his makeup to back down or retreat. It was one of the things I loved about him.

“Have you stopped to consider that maybe we’re being given a second chance to make it right? Because I have. I never stopped thinking about you or wanting the best for you. How could I when every day I had a tiny reminder of you?”

“You don’t even know if I’m in a relationship or not,” he argued, but I noticed the battle within him.

“Are you?” Please say no. If he said he was, I would back away and let him go.

“No. If I was with someone, I never would have crossed that line last night.”

I winced at the dig. “Well, neither am I.” I stared at him for a moment, letting him see everything I felt. And then I retreated under his watchful glare. “All I’m saying is think about it.”

And then I left him standing on the driveway. When I reached the front door, he said, “Rory.”

My heart thudded as I turned around. “Yeah?”

“I never stopped thinking about you either.” And there he was, my James. He shoved his hands in his pockets.

Hope bubbled inside me. He’d given me an opening. And I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading over my face if I tried. But I didn’t want to stop it. I needed him to understand I still carried a torch for him. And had never stopped wanting him.

He inhaled deeply, shaking his emotions off like a wet dog. “I’m going for a ride. Be back in an hour to help with the rest of the demolition.”

Even though there was a small flutter that he was taking off and not coming back, I beat back the fear. “All right. We’ll see you when you return.”

And then I headed inside. We hadn’t necessarily cleared the air. But we’d called a truce. And while there were no declarations or commitments, it was a start.

Maybe this time, we wouldn’t screw it up.

13

---