Page 40 of The Cold Ride

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The next morning after breakfast, I left the inn and filled up the tank on the bike while Amelia readied for our ride. But I also stopped by a dealership and had them install a sidecar. The more I thought about Amelia unprotected, with no seatbelt and nothing to catch her if she fell, the more I started to think taking her out on the motorcycle was a bad idea. But I had also made her a promise and didn’t want to disappoint her.

Beset by nerves that were worse than my first day of SEAL training, I headed back to the inn. This was my first time being a solo parent, and I didn’t want to mess it up.

Rory left my bed early this morning. I recalled her whispered words telling me to go back to sleep and how much I’d wanted to keep holding her until the sun was up. I never thought we’d be here. But fuck, holding her all night long kept my demons at bay. For the first time in more years than I could remember, I slept like a fucking baby, only jolting awake when she shifted my arm from around her waist.

It was the most peaceful night in eighteen years. And I couldn’t help but consider what might have happened between us if I had listened to my heart instead of my head back then.

But then, when I really thought about it, had Rory and I gotten together right after she and Evan had divorced, I would have needed to request a transfer out of our unit. Evan had been too volatile. We would have come to blows.

It was an unwelcome thought, and I wasn’t a big believer in fate, but maybe everything happened precisely as it was meant to occur. That thought, more than anything else, rattled the basis of my anger.

And it didn’t mean I wasn’t mad, but perhaps if I gave us a chance, we could really make a go of it this time around.

When I pulled into the driveway, Amelia raced out the front door with her jacket and gloves already on. Her hair was styled in a French braid. And she carried the helmet I’d gotten her with pride.

God, I didn’t know I could love anyone this much. Nor had I ever realized how much I yearned to be a dad. I loved being an uncle to my sister’s kids. But I’d never been a hurry-up-and-have-a-family kind of guy. But now, fuck, I couldn’t wait to see how Amelia would grow up and who she was going to be.

“Ready?” I asked, glancing at Rory for confirmation. Emotions and desire churned. Damn, all I had to do was look at her, and I wanted her. Even wearing jeans and an oversized sweatshirt, her hair done up in one of those messy top knot deals without makeup, the woman was a knockout. She took my breath away by simply existing.

And god, but I felt like I had hit the jackpot, that she allowed me into her bed and her life without qualm. The way she looked at me left me aching for the next time we were alone.

Amelia bounced on her toes, excitement rippling off her. “Yes. This will be great. Is that for me to ride in?”

Rory crossed her arms with a slight nod. “She’s ready. I don’t know if I am. But I think you guys will have fun together. Be safe, and call me if there are any issues.”

“Yep, it is just for you. That way I don’t have to worry about you falling off.” I shifted my gaze to Rory. “We’ll be careful. I promise.”

Rory nodded, her shoulders relaxing as she checked out the sidecar. I knew the purchase was the right choice. We’d both feel better with Amelia in the sidecar. And given I wanted Rory to trust me alone with our kid, it was better to err on the side of caution.

“Here, squirt, let me help you get in.” Amelia held out her arms so trustingly, gazing at me as if I could do no wrong. She made me feel ten feet tall as I helped her into the seat. I bought one with a seatbelt too. And yeah, I had the minivan of Harleys now, but I wanted my kid safe. It was worth losing some of the coolness factor.

“Let’s get that helmet on, shall we?” I helped her secure the strap and put the visor down. “How’s that feel?” I studied her eager eyes brimming with enthusiasm.

“Good, Dad. It makes me feel like an astronaut.”

God, this kid. She had a daredevil streak inside her, just like her old man. And I heard my father’s voice telling me how dangerous a motorcycle was, listing off how many accidents he’d been called to investigate with one and what the tally was on whether the driver survived the crash.

I finally understood it. The overwhelming desire to keep her safe, even from the things I enjoyed doing that weren’t safe. Granted, I had one of the most dangerous jobs in the world. And I knew that no matter what, I would never be a lifer. I didn’t want my kid to grow up without me.

Once I was confident her seatbelt and helmet were secure, I climbed on the bike. Winked at Rory, then glanced at Amelia. “Ready?”

She gave me a thumbs-up with a grin that split her face wide open. Starting the engine, I rolled us to the end of the driveway. We waved at Rory, and then we were off.

I drove slowly through the neighborhoods and within city limits. There was too much traffic, and I didn’t want to risk opening it up just yet. But Amelia wore the biggest grin. A few times, she put her arms up like she was riding a roller coaster. I took her on a scenic drive through Acadia National Forest, but we were going farther than I had driven the other day. I drove at a decent clip while keeping an eye on her for any signs of distress.

She definitely had a daredevil streak that she got from me. There was a lot of Rory in Amelia with her mannerisms and way of speaking, almost like she was a miniature version of her. But the more time I spent with her, I began catching a few things she did that reminded me of me. It left me proud and frightened all in the same breath because I didn’t want her to have to face the same challenges I did.

And sometimes she would cock her head in a way that reminded me of my mom.

We’d have to watch that daredevil streak as she got older. Because I knew all about pushing the limits of what was safe and riding that line of danger.

All morning long, we twisted and turned along a two-lane highway. And she did amazing. Laughing and whooping when I went faster. She looked at me like I was a hero. It’s something I’d been called before as a SEAL. But with some of the stuff I’d done, I didn’t always feel like I was. I was just a guy trying to do the right thing and make the world a safer place while protecting my country.

And yet a single glance from Amelia and I felt like a gladiator stepping out of the lion’s den without a scratch.

The morning blew by in a flash until I figured it was time to stop and stretch our legs. We stopped at a roadside diner where we could grab a bite to eat.

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