Page 79 of Midnight Dissonance

Everything they’d begun building had slipped through his fingers. She was really leaving. She shot him a snarl. “Have a nice life, asshole. Have fun being the club manwhore.”

And she stormed out of his life.

The door slamming was a dagger to his heart. He wanted to go after her and fix it. But doubt, ever the sneaky bitch, reared its ugly head. Maybe this was part of her act, being all offended and storming out.

He just needed tonight to think it all through.

Josh sank down onto his couch. He replayed the entire afternoon from the moment Lisa had dropped the bomb in his lap and tried figuring out where he messed up.

Bollocks. He should have talked to her about it calmly. Instead he came in accusing her without any proof of malice.

He just needed tonight to get it sorted in his mind. Then he’d contact her tomorrow and apologize.

Lexi took an Uber over to Cliff’s place, holding back tears. Her heart was a broken wasteland. She’d been more open and honest with Josh than she had ever been with anyone.

And he turned out to be no better than the rest of them.

How could he think she wanted him for his money? When she had done nothing but fight him every time he bought something for her.

She didn’t know what to do. His cruelty had stomped her heart into dust. And she knew she hurt him by taking off the collar. But he’d belittled and accused her. And he’d just been so angry. All the warmth she had come to expect had been absent. Instead, he had looked at her with cold fury. All the emotions that had been in his eyes over the weekend vanished without a trace.

And he acted like she meant nothing to him. She thought she’d finally found someone who understood her, who saw her. But she’d been wrong about him.

His coldness, after feeling like the sun had shone on her face for the first time, ripped her heart to shreds.

And she was left trying to figure out her next move. Was he right? Was she selfish and spoiled and acting like a brat? Was she delusional about her music?

And while she hadn’t brought up the student loan, it hadn’t been out of spite. The only reason she hadn’t mentioned it was because it would be a moot point after this month. She’d saved most of the money she made while working a part-time job through college. Only spending it on things she needed because she wanted her own money to start her life once she was done with college. Money that was free of her parents’ control. So by the time she graduated, she had almost a hundred twenty thousand dollars saved from waiting tables. And she’d turned around and used it to pay a good chunk of her loan off. And she’d been renting a crappy room from her sister, using every pare penny she made that didn’t need to go toward rent or basic living supplies to pay it off.

But she also couldn’t return to living at her sister’s house. In the time she had been staying with Josh, she realized how miserable it made her. But it left her fumbling about what to do. It wasn’t like Josh would help her get her trust now.

Maybe she should just go back and finish off the semester. She could contact her old roommate and see if she had a couch she could crash on until she could move into the dorms over the summer and fall semesters.

The taxi dropped her off in front of Cliff’s building. She sniffled and hefted her guitar and duffel bag.

With trembling fingers, she knocked on his door, seriously trying not to lose it out in the hall. Cliff opened the door and held his arms open. The guy was such a teddy bear. It really was too bad she didn’t have any feelings like that toward him and that he played for the other team. At his gesture, she burst into tears before she even stepped inside. Cliff gave her a big hug. He was like the big brother she’d never had.

“It can’t be that bad.” He held her in the entryway until her tears slowed.

“No. It’s worse.” Because she’d given him all of her. She’d given him the parts that mattered. And he’d found her lacking.

Told her she was a bad submissive.

She wasn’t merely heartbroken; she felt utterly destroyed. Like a bomb had gone off in her chest.

Did he really think she was kidding herself when it came to her music? He’d told her she was amazing. Or had that been a lie to get her into bed and get her to trust him?

She didn’t know. And the doubt she’d fought against with every part of her being came rushing in with a vengeance.

“Ah, damn. Well, let’s get you situated in my spare room. And if you want, I can order a pizza for dinner.”

Tears slid down her face at the mention of dinner. She’d planned on having dinner ready for him. And she was going to greet him in one of her club outfits. Her stomach revolted at the thought of food.

“You do whatever you need. I’m not hungry. I just need a place to crash for a few nights until I figure out my next move.”

But she had no idea what that was going to be. The only thing she did know was that she couldn’t go back to living at Lisa’s. Not after living without condescension and judgment and realizing just how toxic it had become at that house.

“That’s cool. Mi casa es su casa. For as long as you need.” He led her into the spare room.

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