Page 15 of Sullied Saints

"Dirk…"

“Why’d you think it was me?” he cuts me off.

I don’t need to ask what he means. When I thought he was Needler. “Well, you’re similar…” I stop myself.Bad direction.My words dry up. “I don’t…”

“Because, by my math, you only came to that conclusionafteryou fucked him. Easier to assume if you figured I was interested, right?”

“That’s not… I can’t…” God, I need to sit down and journal or something sometime, try to untangle the mess that is my mental state. “Have you ever considered that Iwantedit to be you?”

By the way he shakes his head, I can tell he’s not about to consider it now. Because that would be nuts. There are too many implications if he had been Needler. Murder, for one.

Dirk waves a hand, dismissing the conversation and any answer I might give that he’ll choose not to believe. "Look, I'm not some sad unrequited Romeo sop, okay? You could have never known or never admitted to knowing, that’s fine, it doesn't matter. This isn't about that. It's about your lying, about believing I was him, about turning away from me every time things got tough."

"I know…"

"Do you?" he cuts me off.

"Yes!" I insist. "Dirk, I just want things to go back to normal."

His jaw works. "That’s what you want? Like nothing ever happened."

"I don't know… sure? Yes."

He's silent a moment. "This is far enough."

"What? Dirk!" But he's already got the door open, taking advantage of a traffic lull. He steps out while the car is at a rolling pace. "Dirk, don't…"

But the door is already slammed shut, and I can only watch as he disappears down the sidewalk, hood pulled up.

***

Dirk doesn't come in for the rest of the week, and I'm sure even if Chloe hasn't blurted out what she saw, my mood being solidly somewhere between sour and sad for the next four days is enough of a hint that mine and Dirk's relationship is somewhat more complicated than it should be.

The protestors get moved on, and from what I hear, they start demonstrating in front of the court building further down the street instead. We're under no illusions, however, that if they get wind of us moving Needler, they'll be back in an instant. The reporters thin from time to time but stay consistently there and patiently waiting. I watch on the small corner screen as Tawill finally gives them a statement, probably in the hopes that giving them something to work with will calm them.

"The fate of Needler is yet to be decided. He's responsible for a number of murders—a fact we can't overlook. If he keeps cooperating with our detectives, hopefully, something good can come of this."

Someone without their microphone attached or working properly asks which officers he's talking to, and at that, Tawill stiffens."Detective Ginsburg is proving a good contact point with him."

"Is it true the detective had a relationship with the Needler?"

"He posed as an assistant in our lab under a different persona and had many interactions with other staff, that much is true."

"But Detective Ginsburg was romantically involved with the Needler himself, isn't that correct?"The same voice presses. Of course they want to know that. How juicy. A detective fucking the killer she’s on the case of. And the one who killed her own husband, at that.

I can hardly believe myself for being so newsworthy.

"That’s all the comments I'll be making on that topic,"Tawill declares with finality, and the reporters know better than to lose their chance at further questions.

"Detective Lancaster is back on the case as well?"

"He's still taking needed time off, but yes, he's a valuable witness on the case."

"Has he expressed gratitude to Needler for saving his life?"

"Detective Lancaster is not in direct contact with Needler."

"But do you think he would?"

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