Page 119 of When You Wish Upon a Wideout

She fumbled with the buttons of her cardigan, gave up in frustration, and yanked it over her head, leaving her in a tank top. And even though a sheen of sweat dotted Sienna’s skin, she grew paler with each frantic, panicked breath. “Higher, please,” she begged, opening the window with one hand and reaching up to make sure all the vents were fully open with the other.

Beau shook his head. “Paul, pull over.”

“No,” Sienna panted. “We need to get to the hospital.” A cool-toned green painted her cheeks.

“Sir?”

“Now, Paul.”

As soon as the car stopped on the side of the highway, Sienna flew out the door, stumbled into the grass, and wretched heavily.

Beau was a second behind her, gathering her hair. “It’s alright.” He made gentle circles on her back, biting back the emotion as her body heaved painfully beneath his hand. “You’re okay.”

There were another two minutes of dry heaves after Sienna had emptied her stomach. When her body finally stopped convulsing, Sienna stumbled forward, out of Beau’s reach, standing with her hands on her hips, taking deep, distressful breaths.

“The plane... ” he heard Sienna say.

Beau stepped closer, stopping when Sienna whipped around, her eyes frantic, pleading. “What about the plane?”

“The plane, the house,” she pushed out. “Can you get those again?”

Not understanding, Beau reached out to try and get Sienna to focus on him, but she moved back. “What do you—”

“I’ll pay you back every dime, I swear. I’ll sell the bar, I’ll—”

“Sienna—”

“I won’t let her die in the hospital,” Sienna shouted, her words clear, every one punctuated with determination and pain. “I promised her last time, I told her... ” She shook her head. “She’s never been to the ocean either. She’d love the sailboat and that restaurant we went to with the—”

“Sienna, stop.” Beau tried again to reach her, but she stepped away, stumbling. “I know, I know it’s scary, and you’re afraid—”

“You don’t know!” Her voice rose, but the words cracked out of her as if they were coming deep from Sienna’s shattering heart. “You think I’m afraid?” She laughed. “Of watching her be pumped full of poison to kill the cancer and her immune system while we wait foranothertransplant? You think I’m scared to see her intubated when she gets an infection—acold—that nearly kills her?”

Beau’s heart sank.

“We’reallgoing to die, Beau. We all die and sometimes it’s painful and it’s not pretty. And I’m not scared of her dying.” Sienna paused, wiping her face with the back of her hand. “I’mdevastatedbecause she hasn’tlivedenough to know the kind of pain she’s already gone through. And I can’t ask her to go through it again just because I want to keep her.”

When Sienna trailed off, her voice and gaze drifting to the noisy highway behind them, Beau cautiously shuffled closer. With both of his hands cupping her face, he turned Sienna back to him, leaving some space between.

“I’ve lived without my mom.” Sienna sniffled, shaking her head. “Without my dad. Withoutyou,” she added before her voice cracked. “But Ican’twithout her. Ican’t.”

Beau took half of a step, crushing Sienna to his chest. He wanted to swear to Sienna that she wouldn’t have to live without another person—the most important one. He wanted to promise into her hair that Grace’s life would be long and full, that Sienna would watch her graduate from high school, college. She would watch her build a life of her own, standing on the sidelines proudly as Grace reached for the stars and made every dream she ever had come true.

But Beau couldn’t risk making any more promises he couldn’t guarantee. So instead, he held Sienna close and told her the only thing he knew. “You’re not living without her right now,” he said, squeezing her. “She’s still here and needs you. You’re going to wipe your face and rinse your mouth and get yourself together. And you’re going to do the same thing you did since the moment she was born—show up and keep being strong.” Beau wiped a smudge of makeup from under her eye. “And if there’s a moment when you feel likethisand can’t keep it together, I’ll be here for you this time.”

chapternineteen

Luella raisedan eyebrow from her spot on the hospital bed when Sienna yanked open the curtain. “Did you time travel? Weren’t you in California?”

Grace’s wigless head peeked out from behind her favorite nurse. “Hi, Mom.”

“Hey.” Sienna cleared her throat, eyeing her daughter. “How are you feeling?” She gave Luella’s shoulder an appreciative squeeze before moving to Grace, trying not to wince at the gash on her daughter’s head. “They didn’t suture it yet?”

“Little miss thing is demanding a plastic surgeon,” Luella said, standing. “She’ll need ten or twelve stitches.”

Grace sighed as Sienna ran a hand over her short hair. “Idon’twant a scar. What about prom?” She turned to her mother with a pout.

“It’s okay,” Sienna reassured her. “We have a few weeks. Emily is great at makeup. She’ll hide it.” She frowned when Grace’s lips began to quiver.

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