Page 128 of When You Wish Upon a Wideout

Dropping the letter to the floor, he leaned his forehead to Sienna’s, cupping her face with both hands. “God, please, please don’t cry. Just believe me. It is real, I swear. I promise.” He pressed his lips to her trembling ones. “She brought me back. But I’m staying—”

Hands to his chest, Sienna shoved him. “And you stayed around because—”

“Because Iloveyou. Because I’vealwaysloved you—”

“Don’t,” Sienna snarled, pushing him once more. “Don’t you dare feed me thatbullshitagain!”

Beau stumbled. “I fucked up! I did.” He put his hands on his hips, looking up at the ceiling. “But that doesn’t mean how I felt about you then or how I feel about you right now is bullshit.” His head swung to the floor as he took deep breaths, seeing the letter between their feet. He bent, grabbing the paper. “But this.Gracemight’ve brought me back. But I stayed—I’mstaying,” he clarified, moving to the side and leaning against the door. “I’m staying for you, Sienna.”

“Get out of my way.”

“You think I needed this?” Beau held up the letter that had been crumpled by his hand and stained by Sienna’s tears. “When I told you on the plane that I remembereverythingit’s because I do. Like the first time you told me you wanted to ride a motorcycle. I brought leftover strawberry short cake and—”

“Shut up,” Sienna spat.

“Our first date—the picnic in the meadow—you wore this light-blue shirt that matched the sky. We were rolling around kissing and it was covered in dirt and grass stains by the time I brought you home. That’s when you wished for a fancy dinner, the planetarium. It’s not possible for me to forgetyou, Sienna. You’re ingrained in me.” He pled with his eyes. “I already know how hard it is to walk away from you. I won’t make that mistake again. I won’t.”

“I’m sorry,” she growled sarcastically. “I’m sorry it wassohard for you to become the captain freaking America of college football. I’m sorry it wassohard for you to leave small, tiny Brookwood behind and never look back. It must’ve been hard to accept all that fame and notoriety, money—”

“I’d give it all up!” Beau shouted. “If I could give it all up and do it differently I would, alright? Do you need to hear that? I never wanted those things!”

Pursing her lips in anger, Sienna narrowed her eyes. “You wanted them more than me.” She paused, her body trembling. “And that’s okay. I made peace with that. It’s not about that. I never wanted younotto do those things, Beau, even if I believed you were going after them all for the wrong reasons. You think you owe your brother something, but you don’t. You never have. You can honor his memory just byliving, not living the way he wanted for himself. But don’t you dare come back and play the martyr card and tell me how hard it is to be the one who walks away.” She shook her head before adding, “Not after readingthatand knowing how hard it is to be the one left behind.”

“Itbrokeme, alright? What Grace said, what she wrote... it broke me. Because when I saw you at the funeral with her and I leftagain, I thought you were happy. And every day I thought of you, I reminded myself you had a little girl and a family and I kept telling myself it all worked out the way it was supposed to.” Beau raised his arms in defeat before dropping them with a shrug. “And nowknowinghow hard... how hard everything was for you—”

“Beau!” Sienna shouted. “I don’t want pity! None. Especially yours.”

“I’m not... I feel for you because I care. Because you were my friend first and my love second and that never went away. I could never not care about you.”

“You feelguilty. There’s a difference between that and empathy, Beau.” She shook her head as if she were trying to clear him from her vision. “I have to go. I want to leave.”

“Sienna, please, you need to know that I remember everything. The good and the bad moments. I remember when I told you I was leaving and you looked at me exactly like you are now—like youhateme.”

More tears pooled in her eyes. “I don’t hate you, Beau. But Iwish.” She paused before gritting out the words, “I wish that I could. Because then maybe this wouldn’t hurt so damn much.”

“Sienna…”

Wiping her face with the back of her hand, Sienna shook her head. “I have to go. My daughter is in the hospital. And I have a ten-minute walk over there to get it together and not look like I’m afraid orheartbrokenbecause the guy who promised me the world over and over again managed to—”

“I will give you the world. That’s all I ever wanted, even back then. I told you that... ”

“You don’t get it, Beau.Youare the world. I might’ve liked to wish for fast cars and motorcycles and trips as a kid. But I would’ve been happy right whereveryouwere.”

Beau swallowed. “And now?”

Sienna shook her head. “I don’t think you want me to answer that at the moment.”

“Sienna, please—”

“I need to get back to Grace. I need to think about Grace and get myself together for her and pretend more. Be better at faking it.That’swhat I’ve learned from that letter. I need to be stronger than I’ve been before no matter what happens, if she ends up with a recurrence or not. Because the last thing on her mind should beme. That’s what I need to think about now. Notyou.”

Beau’s racing pulse throbbed in his ears and he chewed on his bottom lip. “Can I come by tonight after you guys get home?”

There was an early captains’ practice scheduled for the morning, but Beau didn’t care.I’ll let her blow off some steam. She’ll understand. She’ll believe me. This isn’t the end, it’s not,he told himself, wondering how Sienna could be standing in front of him and feel miles away. He fisted his hands. Please, I need to hold you.Looking down at his sock-covered feet, caging hers that she had slipped into unlaced sneakers, Beau would have done or said anything to go back to the plane, where they had floated through the clouds, their limbs tangled, their hearts beating against each other.

“Not tonight.”

He reached out, taking her hand, which hung limply in his. “I’m sorry. I’ll never be sorry enough. Just let me make it right, okay? I’ll prove it to you, I swear.I’ll make it up to you. I’ll do whatever you want. Don’t run from this. I love you.”

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