Page 25 of When You Wish Upon a Wideout

“What are you wishing for?”

With the light coming from the street at the beginning of the alley, Sienna stood backlit in front of him, illuminated. He could hardly see her face but somehow found her eyes clear as day in the darkness.

Beau cleared his throat. “The only thing I’ve ever really wanted. You to forgive me.”

Sighing, Sienna placed her hand beside Beau’s leg and climbed beside him. She turned, scooting to lower herself down, her shoulder to his. Beau could feel the heat of her body through their clothes despite the chill of the night and the nippy bitterness of their past.

“If you say it out loud, it won’t come true.”

Beau let his fingers brush against hers. He wanted to grab them, grab her, whisper an infinite amount of apologies against her palm so they permeated her body. With Sienna’s obvious hardened shell, Beau knew his words and actions had to be deep enough to reach Sienna’s heart.

“If you give me a chance, I’ll make it come true,” Beau said, turning so he could look at Sienna, but her eyes never left the sky. In the shadows, he studied the familiar, slight slope of her nose, the parting of her lips, where small clouds of her breath escaped, but her voice didn’t make it through. “How about a game? Two truths and a lie.”

He watched Sienna press her lips together for a moment before she spoke, “I’m doing alright.” She took a deep breath, her voice softening, the change in tone tearing at Beau’s heart. “I haven’t missed you. I still make a wish every night.”

I’m so fucking sorry. I’m so sorry I left you here when you needed me.

His mind flashed to the burial, where he had watched Sienna from beyond the crowd, had taken in the gentle shake of her shoulders as she simultaneously swayed Grace in her arms, running a hand over the top of her daughter’s head as she clutched some pink stuffed animal. Beau’s stomach turned, thinking about how he wished he had let Sienna know that if she needed him, he was behind her.

“I’m here now, Sienna.”

Sienna turned her head. “The last one was the lie.” She sat up and slid off the truck. “I never looked at the stars after you left, Beau. But if I had, I would’ve wished you never existed.”

* * *

“Fuck.”

With a heavy, defeated heart, Beau plopped down on his childhood bed—a twin that stopped being large enough for him in the ninth grade. The small mattress squeaked in protest under his weight.

“Penance,” he voiced to no one.

Maybe there was a price to be paid for making wrong decisions. Maybe there was a price to be paid for breaking promises and hearts. And maybe, Beau was out of second chances. Maybe the third time wasn’t the charm but the straw that broke the camel’s back in the stream of good luck.

He had been lucky that Greg pushed him out of the way of the car.

He had been lucky that his body had healed after his motorcycle accident three years ago and he could return to the field.

But this time, Beau couldn’t make his own luck, not with the coldness of Sienna’s stare or the defensiveness in her body, which she had every right to bear.

“What am I doing?” he whispered into the silent room. “What the hell am I doing?”

His eyes flickered to his desk, and a framed photo caught his attention. They were several years apart, but nearly the same size—something Greg had hated. Beau imagined his brother might mirror his father in stature—six feet with broad shoulders, a decent build for a running back, but not tall enough to be the exceptional wide receiver Greg had always wished to be, the one Beau became because his brother never had the chance.

But while Greg never grew past five seven and stayed forever fifteen, Beau continued to grow taller and faster. He worked harder, imagining his brother trailing behind him while he tried to cut a minute off his mile, telling him to pick up his damn feet.

When he got his offer from Florida State, the first person Beau told wasn’t Sienna or his parents—it was Greg. In this very room, he whispered to him, “We did it, man.” And Beau said the same thing when he started his first collegiate game, when he became a Heisman trophy candidate, and when he led a team to a national championship.

But the continued rise to fame, even when accompanied by his loving, living parents and dead brother’s spirit, was awfully lonely for one reason—the one he wished was there to celebrate all the achievements, to hear all his hidden fears, wasn’t at his side. Beau could never say with one hundred percent certainty that his heart was under the bright lights of a roaring football stadium in Los Angeles when it felt like he had left it back in small-town Texas.

While he grew into a professional athlete endorsed by major sporting brands, racking up more zeros in his account than he ever could have imagined, Sienna grew into a mother. Though it stung to think that Sienna had made that dream come true with someone else, Beau reminded himself her most important wish had been manifested. And even though it brought Beau heartache, Sienna’s happiness was most important.

But seeing the exhaustion on Sienna’s face after the game was more painful than any tackle from a fiercely strong defensive back—it stole his breath in the worst way possible. Beau couldn’t think of a person who deserved to struggle that way less than Sienna.

Beau pulled his vibrating phone from his pocket. He rolled his eyes at Chase’s text.

Booked you extra agility with Barry. You’ve got to put in the fight if you’re going to ball out big in LA.

Tonguing his cheek, Beau shook his head.The only thing that will be big out in LA is my absence,he told himself, silently vowing that he would end this discussion with Chase once and for all the next time they saw each other.Sienna can remain walled up all she wants. But I need to be in Dallas—be here—just in case.

---