But between you and me, Mom, I wished for something else. I wished Beau felt the same about me as I felt about him—like he’s the missing piece that makes bad things better, and the piece that makes good things extraordinary.
Love,
Sienna
under neon stars
Dear Mom,
I spent most of today kind of sulking. I got a C on my History test, but that’s not the only reason. Tomorrow is our birthday, so if you were still here, you’d probably tell me not to worry about the test. We’d come home from school, and you’d be cooking up a feast, making Henry’s favorite, lasagna, and mine, chicken parm. We’d wait for Dad to come home so we could dig in and go to bed like it was a normal night, except you would sneak into our rooms a half hour later and bring us outside to make our birthday wishes.
“It’s still raining,” I told Henry on the way to the cafeteria. I glanced angrily outside, where the sky was as dark as I felt, knowing tonight, we wouldn’t be able to see the night sky.
Henry nodded. “Thanks, captain obvious.”
“It’s supposed tokeepraining.”
“Okay.”
I sighed in frustration. “It’ll probably be really cloudy at night.”
Henry stopped dead in his tracks. “Sienna, come on.”
“What?”
He shook his head. “You can’t possibly be upset about that.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’re turning seventeen, not seven.”
“So what? I don’t remember you complaining last year. Didn’t you wish for a new phone?”
Henry scoffed. “That waslastyear.”
“And what, suddenly you’re too old for a family tradition?”
“It wasn’t a family tradition, Sienna. It was aMomtradition. And it died with her.”
Henry didn’t slap me, but he might as well have. Because tears started stinging my eyes, and my face—my entire body—burned.
Henry shook his head as he walked away. “The sooner you accept it, the better.”
I was left standing at the entrance to the cafeteria as Henry walked away, mumbling. Someone bumped into me, and suddenly I was aware that I was a moment away from having a breakdown in front of the entire school. I turned on my heel, pressing my lips shut tightly so the sobs wouldn’t come out until I made it down the hallway and out to the vacant courtyard, abandoned because of the bad weather.
And they poured out of me as loud as thunder.
“What’s wrong?” Beau’s voice came from behind me, and even though my cries were loud and the pelting rain pinged every time it hit the ground, I could hear him clearly.
“Nothing.”
He touched my shoulder, and I pulled away before he sighed. “Can you come under the awning? It’s pouring.”
I kept my head down toward the wet pavement and moved to the side of the building. “It’s raining.”
“I said that already.”
“And cloudy.”