Page 128 of Tides That Bind

But I point my toes, finding the mattress as I hesitate sliding further into a split.

“Sit on my face, Harper. If I don’t smell like you tomorrow morning, I’m going to be upset. I’m in a good mood right now. You’d hate to see me angry.”

When he slaps my ass, I drop just a bit, the tip of his lip hitting my clit. “Sink and drown me, baby.”

I can’t catch my breath when I tilt my head down, finding emerald eyes glitter with speckles of grey. They’re calling to me. They’re begging me to stop fighting it.

I relax my feet and drop down. Riley’s tongue fills me up and I scream his name.

His hands palm my ass more forcefully, pulling me tighter, as if my body paints life into him instead of deprives him of oxygen as I buck against his face.

One of his hands leaves me but doesn’t return—not to my ass, waist, or breast. When I feel Riley’s body writhing beneath mine, I know where it went, and I remove one hand from the wall and lean back, swatting his away so I can replace it. He throbs in my hand.

The realization that Riley is so turned on by turning me on takes me to another level. I soar, screaming his name in a way I don’t recognize—with zero inhibition and not an ounce of self-control.

And even though I feel fantastic, I only have enough energy to slide down so I now straddle Riley’s lower stomach before I collapse and melt against him, his own wildly beating heart echoing beneath my ear.

Every inch of my body lights up under his touch. His fingers leave tingles up and down my arms. “That’s what I dream of.”

“What?” I manage. “Me suffocating you?”

Riley’s laugh grumbles within his chest against my cheek,and he grips my arms and slides me up so we’re face to face. “You wantingme.”

The emphasis Riley puts on himself breaks through the cloud of bliss I’m surrounded in. I understand, now, how much clarity Riley needs. He needs to know that even though I miss Nate, I wanthim.

“I do want you,” I whisper. “So much.”

There’s been a change in the room, as if one window was cracked open and a breeze floated in from outside, painting it now with streaks of loss that could easily crumble me. For a minute, when Riley’s finger brushes a tear from my cheek, I worry it did just that until I remember something else he said.

“Maybe you’re just happy I survived.”

Grief is a vast, dark, seemingly endless night sky. But without all that dark, I’d never really see just how beautiful even the smallest spark of light can be.

I’d never see how beautiful Riley could be. I’d never know how much my heart could hold—love, sadness, all of it. It belonged to another before. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have place for Riley too.

“This is what I dream about.” I roll onto my side and take him with me so we’re still face-to-face, holding each other while I run a hand down his body and tug off his boxer briefs.

I return my hand to Riley’s face, cupping his cheek. “You.”

He relaxes beneath my touch even though his breathing picks up when I lift my leg, draping it over his hip and bring us closer. His swollen head slides between my legs and his eyes find mine.

It’s one thing to be held—like Riley does to me now with his hands.

But it’s another thing to feel what it’s like to be held by just a look, like with just a sweep of eyes you can be held—mind, body, and soul—by another. It’s so strong, so powerful, somagical, his touch feels like a bonus compared to it.

“Harper…”

I clutch him tighter. I don’t want Riley to say my namebecause I need reassurance there isn’t anyone else for him. But the way it sounds leaving his mouth as he slides inside me is a gift I didn’t know I needed.

In Riley’s arms, I’m not Harper, the widow. I’m not Harper, the mother. I’m Harper—hisHarper.

Our eyes lock when Riley presses himself all the way inside, giving me every inch of himself, the last part of what he hasn’t already. Leaning forward, Riley lets his eyelids flutter shut. I shake my head against him.

“No. Watch.”

It takes another second and one strong roll of my hips, but Riley opens his eyes, looking down. I slide back and forth, circling my hips when he disappears fully inside me again.

“Fuck. That’s it,” he pants. His fingers press harder into my sides. “Again.”

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