“You asked me to trust you. Trust me too,” I tell him.
Riley nods, his chest rising beneath my hands, which he takes with his own when he exhales. He gives my hands a squeeze. “Okay.”
I listen for any sign Lucas is about to tumble down the stairsand find it clear before I lift my mouth to Riley’s, leaving a small kiss on his lips.
“10:30, right?” I ask, breaking our hold and reaching for my bag.
Riley looks down at his watch. “Where are you going? It’s only 8:45. I’m just running to Caroline’s to go over a few things.”
I look behind him at Lucas on the stairs. “Just a little mommy and me time before.” I hold out my hand to Lucas as he stumbles past Riley and roll my eyes. “I said a book. Not a book and a superhero.”
“It’s not for me.” Lucas passes the action figure off to Riley. “For good luck.”
Riley holds the Captain America action figure in his hand, turning it back and forth. “Thanks, man.”
I begin walking to the kitchen so we can leave through the back door, waiting for Lucas to follow.
By the time I reach for the handle, Lucas's good luck charm has me smiling so hard I know, Tides or not, we’re going to be okay.
“Riley,” I call out. “See you in court.”
“What’s that one?” I lick sticky glaze from the pad of my thumb.
Lucas's cheeks are so full he resembles a chipmunk that’s been out and about scouring and storing. “Fruity-pebbles,” he mumbles.
“When I was little donuts weren’t as exciting as these.” Reaching out, I pluck a piece of sticky cereal stuck to the side of Lucas's mouth so it doesn’t fall onto his suit.
“You mean they were boring?”
I look at the array of donuts and think about how the simplicity of a plain, glaze flavor fails to compete and admit defeat.
“Kind of.” Careful not to litter my hands with crumbs, I point to another. “Want to split this one?”
“Not that one,” Lucas says. “That’s Riley’s favorite.”
I pop my lips. “Well, we’ll save it then.” I shut the box and take a napkin. “Speaking of Riley, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“About what?”
Running my tongue along the back of my teeth, I blow out a breath. “About Riley.”
Lucas slowly turns his head toward me, hesitantly, like he’s worried about my answer before he even asks his next question. “Is he leaving?”
“What? No.” My eyes widen. “Why would you think that?”
Lucas shrugs. “What else is there?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, if Riley isn’t leaving, then what else is there to talk about?”
I press my lips together, overwhelmed by the innocence that occupies a child’s mind. For Lucas, as long as Riley is around, there’s nothing else that matters. Because he knows only what he experienced—loss.
Nate’s is permanent. But Riley’s was temporary. And Tides’s? It’s undecided.
“Riley isn’t leaving,” I tell him. “I know he upset you when he left before, but…when Daddy died, it wasn’t easy for anyone. Not me, not you. And not Riley. And everyone handles these things differently. I just want you to know him leaving before doesn’t mean he loves you less, Lucas. He came back for you. And do you know something? You’re so, so lucky.”
Lucas turns his head away from the ocean and looks at me. “Why?”