Page 93 of Tides That Bind

Judging from the way Harper makes no move to let go, to swim away, I have to wonder if her mind is telling her the same thing, that something can look wrong and feel so damn right.

It’s wrong because she’ll always be Nate’s wife, even when he’s gone.

It’s wrong because I’ll always be Nate’s best friend—his brother—even when he’s no longer here.

But then I hear Harper’s own words from that day in the backyard.

“You can be more than one thing, Riley.”

And god help me, I know now you canwantmore than one thing too. Because I want to honor and respect my best friend especially now. But between the softness of Harper’s thighs wrapped around my middle, and her smooth, slick cheek against my beard, I know that I also can be filled with a wild desire to find out how she feelseverywhereinside and out.

As I tread, her body moves softly up and down against meand I feel it, goosebumps on her skin, the puckering of two buds on her chest through her one-piece swimsuit.

I don’t even realize my free hand finds the small of the back until it begins circling. “Are you cold?”

When Harper shakes her head, the sweep of my scruff along her jaw sends my mind spiraling, and I arch my back she moves up my body instead of down where she’d quickly find my cock now straining against my swimsuit.

I should let go.

She should let go.

We should both let go and swim away from each other.

But one of Harper’s hands finds the back of my neck and I barely can keep the hiss from escaping my mouth when her short nails scratch lightly at my skin. I lean back into the touch, which makes room between us, but not the kind of safety we need, the one that puts us behind our respective boundaries. Because now we’re face-to-face. We’re on the border about to meet in the middle, which happens to be the point of no return.

Maybe the pounding of my heart inside my chest is the alarm sounding. Or maybe it’s a song of anticipation, an eager encouragement to find out what it’s like to kiss a woman I once couldn’t stand being around.

And now? Her breath tickles and taunts me. It’s fucking luring me deeper to sea into no man’s land. And I have a feeling once I swim out, there’s no way I’ll be able to make it to shore.

Our eyes lock and this is it, the part where we decide how much of ourselves we are damning to an ocean of guilt.

Beneath the water, my fingers slide up into the valley of her spine. Harper’s eyes flutter shut and I’m left hypnotized by a cluster of freckles to the side of her mouth, all pieces of a puzzle I’ve yet to put together—just like us. We are pieces of a puzzle, but two of many and without a photo ofhowthings are supposed to look, we’re left to our senses trying to figure it all out.

I don’t know how things are supposed to look with Harper. But I’m damn sure certain about how they feel.

Harper opens her eyes, and the way her honey-colored irises focus on me is like a reward I’m not sure I deserve. They swirl with golden flecks of desire you wouldn’t know were there unless you were this close and looking.

And I know, without a doubt, I’d never be looking at Harper this way if Nate were still alive.

She’d never curl her fingers into my skin—clutching me—if he were still here to hold.

But he’s not here.

My head feels heavy. It’s being pulled by the tension escalating between us with each quick breath, by the rip-roaring emotion of the last few months. Like an invisible under-tow you don’t know has trapped you until it’s too late, I know the only option isn’t to fight it. The solution is to swimwithit. And fuck, if I don’t I’ll drown in this desire.

“Excuse me?’

Harper is off me and at the edge of the pool before I even have the chance to turn around. When I do, I find one of Caroline and Finn’s neighbors leaning over the fence lining the pool.

“Andwhoare you?”

I run a wet hand over my face, which feels like I’ve spent a full day under the sun instead of just an hour beneath an overcast sky with Harper. “Caroline Monroe’s brother. Just visiting.”

The older woman narrows her eyes at me before mumbling under her breath and continuing along the path. I lean back, letting the knot of hair at the back of my head sit in the water while I try to collect my thoughts and talk my dick down.

Harper jumps out of the pool and snatches her towel, wrapping it around her waist. She’s fumbling with her bag and stumbling into her sandals, her long, wet blonde hair cascading as she leans down to pull a strap over her foot.

I sort of want to take a deep breath and sink under the water until she leaves.

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