Page 240 of The Reluctant Hero

The feeling of power I get at the obvious signs of his strain is heady. I lift up to nip at his lips, and he tries to follow me down. I evade the kiss with a gasping chuckle that makes his teeth grind.

He hammers into me harder in retaliation, and my vision goes blurry. My thighs tense over his hips. I can’t tell if I’m trying to hold him still or encourage him. Tears escape from my eyes, that whine coming back with a vengeance. I can’t help clawing at him now.

The orgasm that peaks is body-spasming pleasure. I’m helpless under it, wailing in a sound that seems agonized, but it’s pure overwhelming pleasure. He chokes and follows me down with uneven thrusts that jolt the cry out of me.

His body shakes over mine. His shout of pleasure matches mine and dies away into a moan of my name.

My body is so limp after I might as well be a noodle. His body covers mine, pulling his length out of me in a shuddering rush. He nuzzles my neck and kisses along the curve wherever he can reach while my head dangles. It’s too heavy to lift right now.

“Darlin’,” he lets out a soft sigh. “Please.”

I blink, staring at the wall in a daze. I know what he’s asking for. Begging for.

Forgiveness.

“I saw that stack of paper, and I was afraid. Readin’ it cut me open and left my guts on the floor. Seein’ those tickets, thinkin’ you were leavin’ with someone else. That put rusty razors in the hole. I haven’t felt pain like that in so long. Somethin’ that’s more than a bruise or broken bone. A knife twistin’ inside that I couldn’t get out of me. I never touched anythin’ else. I’d never hurt you like that. I’d never hurt you at all. It’s fuckin’ destroyin’ me. Please,believe me.”

I listen to his whispered confession while my emotions swirl around. A mixture of wonder, pleasure, anger, pain, and love.

My chest aches over the last one. It’s too new, and this is completely different than before.

He said he was afraid, and I get it suddenly. That agonizing fear that this is too much, too unstable to keep. I faced that fear with Gabriel. Ace had to face that same fear in clear-cut words.

I’m still pissed, but in a hushed way that surprises me. I hurt for him as that feeling of not being enough washes through me in an absent way that’s a whisper inside. A haunting echo of feeling that shouldn’t be there.

“I was tryin’ to figure out how to fix it. Hide it, maybe. One look at my face, and they all dropped inside. I could see it. I begged Gabe to go easy on you. On my knees, I begged him. They took my phone, and every time it rang, I knew it was you on the other end, needin’ me. But every time we turned, there was more and more until it shut me up when I shoulda’ kept at it.”

I feel wet heat splash over my neck, surprising me. My arms go around him in helpless comfort before I can think to stop them.

I try to force myself to think of his enraged face again to stop this feeling in its tracks. I can’t anymore. That feels like so long ago. Buried so far underneath other horrifying memories that it feels like that happened a year ago instead of days. It pisses me off that I can’t have that reminder when I need it.

I start to tense up, but more tears fall onto my skin, and it breaks me.

This proud man begged for me until it brokehim.

I hold him as he cries in a silent way that’s more agonizing than if he wailed. My oily hands stroke through hishair without thought as I try to comfort him. It doesn’t take him long to stop, but it’s enough to leave a mark on me.

“I love you, woman,” he mutters into my neck. My eyes widen as my heart skips a beat. “I don’t care if you say it back. Now or ever. I’m a selfish fuck because I just want you to know it. To feel it from me without anythin’ held back.”

My mouth opens and closes without saying a word. I don’t want to say it as an automatic answer. I want to think about it. See if I trust it even though all of the evidence in front of me says I’m an idiot for doubting.

He kisses my throat in a gentle caress and straightens up. His eyes are rimmed in red, his cheeks damp with more than sweat or oil. He’s gentle as he removes the toy and cleans me up. My body has reached a state of lethargy that’s as emotional as it is physical.

“Come on, darlin’,” he offers me his hand with a crooked smile filled with hope. “Relaxin’ ain’t done yet.”

I put my hand in his, and his eyes close in relief so heavy that his shoulders sag, some tension falling away from him. All from my hand willingly falling into his.

He’s with me the rest of the day. So close he should be glued to me. He tucks himself away and zips up his pants without putting anything else on. When he turns to pick up my robe, I see the holster of a gun clipped to the back. And the long, angry marks from my nails. It looks like I drew blood in places.

When they set up the pedicure he’s sitting right beside me with one leg behind my back and the other riding alongside my thigh. He watches everyone that comes in like a hawk. I lose count of how many times he adjusts the fluffy robe they gave me to keep my skin from showing. His hands move over me, massaging as he apologizes about the lack of a massage chair. As if I care when he’s right next to me doing the job on his own.

He picks the color of the polish with a grin. It’s so dark it might as well be black with red shimmer. I don’t protest in the face of his pleasure. He seems a little surprised that I don’t argue with him about it.

When they move me to a little station for a manicure, he helps me sit, kisses my temple, and promises to be right back.

As soon as he’s out the door, the technician looks up with wide, envious eyes.

“Do you know how lucky you are?”

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