Page 258 of The Reluctant Hero

“I’m the one that pushed it. I took Ace’s phone from him. I’m the one who told Jake not to try helping you. I just hurt so damn bad. I wanted you to hurt, too. But not like that.”

His hand reaches up to touch the very tips of my fingers. A barely there caress as if he’s scared to wake me.

Like Ace and Mikael, he can’t look me in the eyes to tell me he was wrong. Gabe did, but I didn’t believe him. You can’t be one hundred percent onboard for vengeance and then say you’re sorry like it was nothing.

Unless they weren’t one hundred percent on board with it.

From how things work inside this ridiculous mansion, they could have done several things to punish me. Taken my money, my apartment, my job. Forced me onto the street. Sent me home to my parents. Beat me up or kill me. Instead, they locked me up in a room with no idea what might happen. Had they planned on letting me go? Or were they taking that time to calm down?

“You were so worried about Jake, too. As if you knew he’s my weakness. It made it worse. You were just trying to see if he was alive.”

“Are you going to do it again?” I ask calmly.

He startles as if I just scared the hell out of him. How could he think I would be able to sleep through his midnight ramblings?

“Amanda?” he says in a louder voice, but not by much. I guess he’s trying to let Jake sleep. Like we should be doing.

“Are you?”

“No,” he mutters.

His hand moves over mine and interlaces our fingers. It’s such an innocent, boyish action, just like playing footsie with me. He hesitates as if he’s waiting for me to pull away. When I don’t, his fingers squeeze mine.

“You aren’t like her. Or any of the women I’ve known.”

“It’s the anger issues,” I assure him.

He lets out a soft chuckle.

“And the fact that you gave a shit today. Even after all my fuckups, you wanted to help me.”

My brows furrow as I prop my chin on his chest to see him instead of his shoulder. There isn’t much light but I can make out a few of his features. His sharp cheekbones and square jaw. The shadows over his eyes leave me with no color but a glimmer of light.

“Has no one tried to help you?” It seems unbelievable.

“Jake,” he mutters, his head shifting to see the back of his sleeping friend’s head.

No wonder they’re so close. It might have something to do with keeping Jake’s violence in check, but it’s also to keep Cade’s depression in check. A balance they’ve walked for a while.

“Does anyone else realize?” I ask in confusion.

“No,” his eyes return to me. “Not until today, at least.”

He’s a good actor, but I didn’t think he was that good. To hide himself away so well that even the people who see him all day at work and at home? It hits me that Jake does the same thing in his own way. I don’t think Jake really cares about what he looks like to other people. If he acted the way he wanted outside this mansion then no one would approachCade.

“We all have issues and it’s hard to see each other past that. I felt seen today. Like we set down our issues and just had fun. It was so wholesome it was kind of scary.”

I shake my head and lay back on his arm.

He shifts until he’s lying on his side with his face in front of mine. It jostles my head until he moves a pillow down for us both to rest on. Jake grumbles something in German.

“He said fuck off,” Cade grins.

“I should be saying it too. You should be sleeping.”

His grin widens. “What did you say to Gabe?”

The casual question dims my mood quickly.

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