Page 88 of The Reluctant Hero

I’m relieved that the pretense of my quiet acceptance will be over now. I’d feel sorry for her if the emotion had a chance to eclipse this feral need I have for her.

I can smell the alcohol, an infuriating amount. Cigarette smoke. She obviously went to a bar. Somewhere men could put their hands on her. Without a single one of us there to cut them off for even breathing in her direction.

I take her shoes off gentle enough she barely stirs. Then, her socks. I spotted a laundry basket in the shape of a trash bag inside the closet earlier. The amount of clothes inside isn’t enough to make a full week.

While I’m there, I go over her clothes. Unflattering items that cover her beauty with dreary colors. Jeans soft enough to prove her love for them. Shirts and tennis shoes. And panties.

My lungs do an involuntary spasm when I see them. Amanda is fire on the outside. But inside, where she can hide it, she’s a soft pink panty with a bow on the back kind of woman. I pocket one without a second thought.

I’m careful to remain out of sight of the window. If Ace sees something, he’ll investigate. He won’t be able to resist that much temptation.And then he would linger, watching her, just like I am.

I crouch to reach her side as she lies there. She’s deeply asleep. The vague bags that were beginning under her eyes at work have begun to fade. Maybe a night to relax is what she needed. Next time, it will be with us.

Cade can persuade her. He can persuade anyone. It’s his talent and the reason he got paired up with me in the first place. Someone to babysit me and keep me in line. For the most part, it’s worked. Since I saw Amanda? Not so much.

I kneel by her and rest my head next to hers on the pillow to watch her up close. If she woke up right now how would she react? What would I see? Fear? Relief knowing it’s me? Or anger?

The moment I saw her standing nervously on the mats with the smallest frown and looking sweet as a lamb, I wantedher. Amanda is not the type of woman to hide. I knew that immediately. Her fire was locked down tight inside her, and I wanted to know why. And then her eyes met mine, and it sealed everything for me.

I gave her the same practiced smile I use on everyone. None of my routine has changed over the years, so it’s become a natural reaction. She didn’t smile back. In fact, her little brows furrowed, and her eyes sharpened. She saw the smile for the fake portrayal it was in an instant. Her brown eyes saw me so deep I felt scratched raw from the inside out. One look and I was naked in front of her with no protection. Vulnerable. How?

Her expression turned wary, and then she turned away.

Yes, she saw everything inside me. Enough to be afraid because she knew.

Luring her friends in was easy. They’re blind to everything but sex and men rich enough to spoil them. Something I usually prefer because they can be pushed aside easily. Not after seeing her. When I pieced myself together after that look, it left cracks that nothing but her would fill.

She ignored it. Ignored me. It didn’t matter that she treated everyone else the same. If she made me raw, she should damn well feel the same. I wouldn’t stop until she did. I’m not going emotionally bare alone.

The ugly, untrue words Cade and I have been feeding her made her even more distant. It should have brought that fire roaring right at us. I was waiting for it. Panting for her rage. She gave me nothing.

Cade tried brushing her off to me. He thinks I don’t know how his eyes followed her. Or how many times he took a step toward her to help fix her stance. He’s as hyper-aware of her as I am. I still wonder if he felt that burning gaze hit what’s left of his soul, too, but I won’t ask. If he asked me the same I wouldn’tanswer. Whatever Amanda found in me is hers now. I don’t want her to give it back.

I touch the soft hairs that have escaped the sloppy bun at the back of her head. The clip holding it up is easy to remove, and I get to see her hair down for the first time. She lets out a soft sigh as if the restriction was holding her back from sleep. Her pink lips part right in front of me, tempting me.

Time to go.

I slink to the door and make it to the side exit when a shadow passes me, unaware of my presence. Ace is silent as he goes up the stairs. I watch him from the darkness with a smirk. Looks like he’s not the polite stalker now, is he? He’s just as hooked as all the rest of us.

About damn time he gave in.

I think I’ll leave through the landlord’s office. I can take a look through there as well.

20

Come On Get Up

Amanda

Sunday morning, I wake up with the mother of all hangovers and lounge in bed for most of the day like a useless lump. Most of the night is hazy, but from what I remember, I had a great time. They all gave me advice ranging from passive aggression to dirty office sex or even illegal activities. The alcohol helped me get over Max being a jackass, and he introduced me to his partner Trevor and told me about their polyamorous lifestyle. It sounded as comforting as it was confusing.

I remember making Shade stand on the dance floor to sing, and the romantic song he picked made me cry and hug South to congratulate her again. I tried to text South’s bestie an apology after I was informed she was sick and couldn’t come to celebrate. South took her phone back, erased it and said, “You’ll meet her later.”

She and Shade promised to work as a couple to keep Loser away from me, which made me cry again.

After that, it was mainly standing outside to puke and the wobble of shame to the truck. Max had to help me get in as well.

At some point, I added him to my phone contacts. It took me a while to figure out who Mnjuazxsd was. The abundant middle finger emojis should have clued me in. Now, I have to figure out who Aswtryugh is. The black heart emoji seems like a one-off.

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