Page 105 of The Confidant

Why did she never tell me it was this bad?Beforeit got to this point? Addie is the last person on Earth who would cut ties with family. This is the first time I’ve heard her blame any of us for anything, in a tone that made it hard facts with proof to back it up.

Before I can take a step, my eyes move to Maman. That guilty cringe is subtle enough that I might have missed it.

This isn’t some bullshit dramatics, not that I would ever believe it was. Not with Addie. If Dani or Suzette popped off like this, I’d be furious. They’re spoiled rotten and think they got a bad hand. We all know it. But Addie? She’s always respectful, even if her teeth grind all the way through an apology.

Looking back, I can see it. While she’s been flinging herself at us all, desperate to be seen, we’ve been holding back for no good reason.

Every hug she gave me and every look of sadness she showed at my lack of enthusiasm weren’t her trying to train me to accept people touching me.

Sheneeded them. She needed me to step up and give some affection back.

My own sister. My champion, who wants the best for me. Denied my acceptance over my lack of reaction.

I hate myself for it.

Especially when the first time I tried, she acted like I wasn’t standing right in front of her, waiting for that unconditional love. As if I did something to deserve it.

I look around at my stiff siblings, stuck to their seats with guilt. They’re watching Maman’s pale face instead of Addie’s firm walk as she leaves us all behind.

My eyes move to Tera, stunned at the things revealed tonight. I can tell by the horrified look on her face that she doesn’t know about it either. My angel is devastated that her usual well-meaning interference has backfired this time.

We thought we were ready. Our apologies were in hand with the expectation that she would be relieved that it was all a misunderstanding. That we’re prepared to break skulls over the pain she’s been through. Tera has some revenge plans in store with South and Amanda on speed dial. We thought we had all the cards.

We didn’t have shit.

The only reason I drop back into my seat is because Joseph is on it. He waves me back, his concern evident. If anyone can talk someone out of a spiral, I would put my money on him.

But is this a spiral? She was so calm for the most part that not much emotion leaked through. That is definitely not Addie’s normal. Her actions feel more like she hit rock bottom while I was oblivious and has gotten back up.

I glance at Tera again to see her eyes fill up with tears.

“I wouldn’t have made her come if I knew how bad it would be. What have I done?” she whispers in a choked voice soaked in guilt.

The pin-drop silence of the room makes it easy for everyone to hear her. It rallies Maman out of her shock as she takes in Tera’s obvious horror.

“Don’t let her get to you,” she says with her own shaky tone. “She’s being dramatic to get her way. This has nothing to do with you, sweet child.”

“Are youlisteningto yourself?” Suzette barks out so loudly her husbands startle. “Damn it, Maman! She just said she’s cutting ties with all of us because we’re all dicks. Did that not sink into any of your pea brains?”

“You hush up, Suzette,” Maman begins to frown. She’s already had one child turn against her. Another one won’t be tolerated.

“No way,” she flings her napkin down and crosses her arms over her chest. The mutinous pout is an expression held over from childhood when she didn’t get her way. “That’s my sister, whether any of you assholes want to admit it or not. I’m going to apologize to her.”

When she starts to stand, Maman jerks out of her seat and slaps her hands on the table.

“Sit down!”

My expression freezes as I take in her stance. The last time I saw Maman this angry, she took a rolling pin to the sperm donor’s head.

All because she stirred up shit that should never have had a pot to begin with.

“Maman,” I call her attention to me with a cold tone as my siblings tense up in fear. It’s odd to me how paranoid they are about her lashing out. They’ve never known physical abuse, but they’re hyper-aware. I’m starting to wonder if things in Louisiana are still safe foranyof my sisters.

Maman’s eyes find me across the table from her, and her body freezes up.

She clears her throat and slowly sits back down. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s ok to be mad, but not like this,” I grit my teeth over the party line I use in class. It’s never been this hard to say it.

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