Page 108 of The Confidant

“Yeah, it sounds andisfucking bad, Valerie,” Joseph grits out. “You isolated her and lied to me about her needing space because she was Stephen’s favorite, and his loss hit her hard. It looks like she needed me as much as Asher did, and no one said a thing.”

“I didn’t know,” Suzette protests in surprise. “If I did, I would have said something. She’s so strong-willed, I thought it didn’t matter to her.”

“So, all theoldersiblings.” Tera’s eyes narrow on them thoughtfully. Her quick mind is picking up pieces and sticking them together right along with Joseph. “Everyone old enough to remember how things were before. Suzette, you’re only a year older than Asher, right?”

“I think everyone not blood-related needs to take a little walk,” Sophia says quickly.

Brad gives her a disbelieving look.

“You don’t want me here to help you?” He asks in a soft tone of rebuke.

“Not on this one,” she winces. The look she gives him, with a not-subtle glance in my direction, shows me that he knows.

It cuts me off at the knees. I drop back in my seat, my face paling despite my struggle to remain aloof. The looks of pity and embarrassment that come from around the table say they all know.

In the back of my head, I already knew it. Subtle things at family gatherings that I tried to brush off. A lot of little tells that tried to break me.

Even if I could pretend that I hadn’t been aware of it, Maman spilled it out a few minutes ago like it wouldn’t make an impact on me. While making Addie’s scars something faked for attention.

Those lines aren’t fake. I know it. Seeing them broke me open. How many times did she sit right next to me with a smile, thinking about hurting herself? While I stared at her without any emotion, to keep myself safe.

Two different masks hiding suffering and fear.

My head turns to the empty seat where Addie was. My reigning champ isn’t here to back me up for the first time, and it’s another blow to my heart. She’s been standing on her own the whole time I’ve been leaning. Without showing me anything but love and acceptance. She never gave up on me. She never stopped fighting for me to have love and acceptance in my life.

“Do you remember the night we left?” I ask thoughtfully. I’m not loud, but my voice causes a hush to fall over the room.

Dani lets out a resigned sigh, as if my bringing it up, for the first time in my life, is something she doesn’t have patience for.

I’ve heard that harrowing drive from Dani and Sophia’s points of view several times. But I’ve never given mine or heard Addie’s. An unspoken “It happened, and we don’t need to go back over it to survive.” Maybe if I had opened up sooner, this wouldn’t have been Addie’s life.

“Maman, you were driving like a bat out of hell. Dani, you were holding Suzette while she cried because she didn’t understand what was happening. Sophia, you sat in the middle seat, huddled up and scared. You were holding Dani’s hand, getting snot all over while you cried. For once, it didn’t embarrass you. Everyone was stuck in the horror of it, along with me.”

Tera reaches out to me. Max gets up with a muttered, “Fuck this,” and sits on my other side where Addie would be. He’s closer than I’m usually comfortable with outside of sparring or class. Right now, it’s exactly what I need. Trevor stands up and takes up my back with a hand braced on Max’s shoulder. His friendly mask dropped as soon as Addie started talking, and his scowl is so deep it looks carved in his face. I’m shored up with my support while everyone else stays stuck in the quiet.

“Baby,” Maman mutters, her eyes dimming in sorrow and regret. “Don’t.”

“I was in the very back, wrapped up in blankets. Addie was right beside me, holding my hand. She didn’t cry. She was the only one not crying. The way she held onto me was like she was afraid I would disappear any second. The way she kept look out with your tire iron and watched the windows. I knew she would hurt anyone who got too close. It was everything I needed.Thatis why I’m so close to her. I knew that she would beat the hell out of anyone dumb enough to come after me. Just like you did, Maman.”

My eyes rove over my confused family without much expression leaking through.

“But Addie never shied away from me. Never made me feel like a freak because of my scars. Evenyoutreated me like I was a monster, Maman.”

Her face goes red as her eyes widen.

“I never,” she breathes out in building anger.

“You did,” I assure her firmly. “Every doctor’s appointment. Every time I wore anything that didn’t cover me up, or if I wanted to cut my hair. The constant scar removal remedies you found. You couldn’t hide your disgust at the sight of me. It made me look at myself through that same filter.”

“Baby, you’re seeing it all wrong,” she snaps, her body getting tense.

“Maybe,” I offer, which earns me a scowl from Max. “But this ismypoint of view. You don’t get to dictate it.”

“Let him talk,” Joseph cuts off whatever she was about to say next with authority, his arms crossed over his chest. He’s right behind her like she’s an unruly suspect that’s about to break free. He has her back, but he isn’t happy with her right now.

“Addie stands strong when the rest of us crumble. Yeah, Dani does it, too. She looks out for everyone… though I guess I can’t say that anymore.” I dig at her with an icy look. Her eyes well up with tears as she ducks her head.

“You were strict, Maman. I didn’t get it as a kid, but I get it now. You smothered me with a kind of paranoia that I don’t need. It was your way of coping. My way was acting out and becoming the monster that you all saw me as. Addie. She didn’t put up with any of my shit. She’d see a mistake and rub my face in it, laughing the whole way because she’s an asshole. Then she’d pick me up and make me fix it. Before Joseph was even in the picture. It was enough for a while. When it got too much for her, or maybe she didn’t have any answers to my questions anymore, she shoved me at Joseph and told me to suck it up and stop acting like a hooligan because only dumb girls like bad boys.”

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