Panic rises again. Do they not carethatmuch?
My world is changing. Crumbling. Please don’t let Asher be the same.
Me: I’m serious! Nobody contacted me until Maman did this morning.
Asher: It’s fine. Stop being dumb. I believe you. And stop flooding my phone. I’m dealing with something else.
My shoulders slump. I got the same old brotherly ‘love’ I’d expect from him. Comfort in the form of an insult. It soothes a little of the panic. He’s busy now, but that doesn’t mean he won’t listen when his issue is over.
By the time Poe comes over, I’m beside myself with pity and sorrow. The anger has been replaced with a numb kind of confusion.
“Siren?”
My eyes are drawn to him as I chew my thumbnail. He looks just as good as he did the first day I saw him. When our eyes connect, that little zing runs through me. Even that doesn’t feel like enough of an anchor to keep him. Everyone else has turned on me. Why wouldn’t he?
“Your texts have been kind of off all day,” he watches me warily, Racer clasped under his arm as usual.
“My oldest sister got dumped by way of losing all her money. I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend, much less that she thought she had found her One. Maman called this morning to chew me out for not showing up to help her move back home. Dani told her she called me, but shedidn’t. She admitted it when I called her and acted smug as hell that Asher introduced everyone but me to his group. Seems she’s been turning Maman against me so she can avoid a lecture, too. I got no idea how long that’s been going on. Or if my other sisters do it too.”
His brows lower as he pulls out a chair to set Racer on. It would have made me laugh earlier. Now, it’s barely noted.
It hits me that he has no idea who I’m talking about. I’ve never explained all my siblings or given him their names. I’m as bad as Ash.
“You wouldn’t do that.”
His instant support brings tears to my eyes, sidetracking any belated introduction I had planned. Tears start flowing at his easy acceptance of me asme. I was starting to wonder if anyone did anymore.
“At least someone knows that,” I sniffle and start pacing again. “Now I think they all have me blocked. Ash is no help because he never wants to talk, but at least he’s answering. Four damn siblings, and not one wants to explain it to me.”
“May I see your phone? I need a bit more context, and I don’t want to upset you with more questions,” He approaches me to stand in the way of my pacing. I open the phone with face ID and slap it in his palm with a bravery I didn’t know I had in me.
I can trust this man with my secrets. I don’t doubt it anymore.
He takes his time looking through. I’m sure he’s being as thorough as he usually is. I try to be patient about it as I watch, but it’s hard.
Our sibling bond was supposed to be forged in fire. I thought it was unbeatable. I’m slowly starting to realize that I’ve been a piece they’ve been trying to chip off so subtly that I didn’t even notice.
Everything has been eroding faster ever since I moved here. The more I entrench myself in my own life, the more wrong I am. Like Suzette’s request that I stop sending out invites to tattoo expos that I’ll be at if they want to visit me. None of them have ever come, but I’ve held out hope that one day they would. It’s been years since I’ve seen any of my sisters face to face.
Not once have they come to visit. Not me, and not Ash. It used to be phone calls during the holidays or when someone had good gossip to share. That slowed to a stop as the years moved on. No one has called me for anything good since Ash got together with Tera. Even before that, I barely got a text. Obviously, for long enough that the sisters have made a separate chat. I bet Daniella toldthemall about her boyfriend.
If all of them are pushing me away, doesn’t that meanI’mthe problem? But what did I do? Exist? Look like an evil man? Doesn’t everything I’ve done to make up for that mean anything to them?
“You keep everything, don’t you?” Poe mutters as he slowly scrolls back farther and farther.
“I forget to clean it out,” I shake my head. “My battery is a champ.”
“It is,” he agrees solemnly. “A few years ago, the job of informing people about plans and issues fell to Daniella as the oldest. Do you remember that?”
I blink at him in a stupor.
“No? It was a vote, I think. Why? What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Everything after that is random, bland check-ins. Even those stopped about seven months ago,” he tells me, his focus on the phone instead of my baffled face. “I can see the difference in the texts. The tones they’re using. Everything is full of open conversation, and then it gradually becomes limited replies. There aren’t any invitations made by anyone but you directly after the vote in any of your messages.”
“You mean Daniella is really cutting me out?” I’m heartbroken, though I knew deep inside that it was coming. She admitted it earlier today as if it’s old news.
I just hoped it was a one-off. That she was talking out of anger at her ex instead of me. Anything that I could use to make her behavior alright to me would have worked. Now Poe is giving me straight facts that hammer the truth home to stay.