It isn’t until I’m at my place, alone, that loneliness hits me. I have to fight myself to keep from calling him to turn around and kidnap me. I know he would in a heartbeat. This might be the last time he goes on a trip by himself.
Thursday, I get a text from Asher. It surprises me that I haven’t heard from any of my family for almost a month. I’ve stopped thinking about reaching out so much, which is startling by itself.
Ash: Meet up tomorrow at the diner. Everyone will be with me.
Holy cow,allof them? Not just a promise of his angel, but the icing and sprinkles on the cake, too?
My heart pounds with excitement, but I try to play it cool as I agree.
The nervous happiness has a wet blanket hanging over it to keep it calm. I can’t help thinking about everything related to my family. Without Poe standing next to me, that weight is crashing back onto my shoulders.
Dani seems to think I’m going to hold it against Ash for introducing them to the rest of the family first. I admit it stings. But now it’smyturn.
I’m not like the rest of them with their uptight attitudes and willingness to bow and scrape to Maman’s whims. Here’s hoping they can appreciate that.
This is my chance. I can talk to Ash about the Dani thing. Maybe complain a little about how weird Maman has gotten to test the waters. Tell him about Poe?
I’m nervous about talking to him, and I don’t want to put more pressure on myself.
There’s also my hesitation in sharing my One with someone who might not think I even deserve to have a soulmate.
I try to shake that thought off. Not Asher. He isn’t like the rest, he’s ok.
Then why has it taken this long for me to meet them?
Maybe he has had the same reservations I’m going through now. If I prove to him that I accept them all face to face, it might make a difference. I can take my time with my own troubles.
Besides, it’s not like this is the last time I’m ever going to see him. But I don’t want to put meeting them off even longer than it has been. I refuse to be the reason we haven’t met.
The excitement quickly overcomes my concerns.
I get to meet the people who brought my baby brother into the sunshine!
I race into the bedroom, squealing to myself. I haven’t gotten everything from the closet. Tera’s baby gift is still here.
I drag down the hidden raccoon toy with the rattle inside. It has a blanket the size of a handkerchief attached. Perfect for a new little boo. I shake it and chuckle at the sound.
The thought of telling Poe about this meeting rises and falls quickly. He isn’t in town. I know this will worry him. What happens if Ash doesn’t show? I don’t want to prove him right about my family. I want my connection back. Dread begins to build in my gut just thinking about it.
Poe can forgive me for a little omission, right? It won’t be a big deal anyway. Until I rub it in his face that I met up with them.
I’ll raccoon-roll my way through this like I always do. Have dinner and see where I end up.
Friday passes by slowly and too fast at the same time. Sitting in the shop alone without customers is beginning to wear on me. Damon and Grace came to visit for lunch. Other than that, it’s a monotony of nothing but time. With Poe out of town, it’s made even worse.
I’m nervous as hell. I want to give his group a good impression of me, no matter what. I change several times, trying to look like the lady Maman always insists I be. No tattoos showing. Light makeup. Keep my hair out of my face. Try not to get so stressed that I sweat my deodorant off. I still haven’t gotten my hair dyed yet. My roots are showing badly now. I’ll wear a beanie instead.
I’m ready to walk out the door when my text chime goes off. A sense of dread washes over me. I’m afraid to pull my phone out.
While my mind is in turmoil, my body acts automatically, pulling the phone out for me to see.
I don’t even have to look. The screen wakes up, and I see the text, making all my feelings turn numb.
Asher: Never mind about the dinner. Stay home. Maman is looking for you.
If Maman were looking for me, wouldn’t she call me directly? Or did she forget to take me off the call blacklist?
This is a brush-off. I know it. A denial of my meeting the people most important to him, with Maman as an excuse.