Page 84 of The Confidant

My doubts are making Poe more nervous. He doesn’t want me to say no at the last minute. The way he holds Racer to him while we unpack at the hotel is exactly the tight grip I have on my plush. It’s been pierced all over by Damon and dressed in one of Poe’s white collar shirts and a tiny leather jacket. We named it Trouble.

My paranoia takes a backseat when we start sightseeing. There are so many people crammed all together that no one notices me. At all. And half of them act crazier than I do.

We have dinner with a bunch of long-distance members of SoT. They helped get everything together for Poe. He had them on standby in case I said yes, with things already planned. His night on the phone was him saying we’re a go and hanging up, then calling them back to explain himself. They joke about it nonstop.

We spend the weekend lounging on the beach or sightseeing.

I thought it would be as chaotic a rush as it was packing up. Instead, I’m comfortable being invisible here. We take our time with everything. All our rushing has slowed to a crawl as we enjoy the sights together. Damon’s explosive personality mixed with Grace’s gentle acceptance of him is fun to watch, too.

On Monday, Grace convinced me to get my hair done. We spent way too much time pouring over pictures of cuts and colors before I made the leap.

I want the length gone. No more hair dangling down like a dead weight that I don’t know what to do with. And noblonde. My only two requirements.

I end up with a pixie cut long enough to reach my chin with a lot of textured layers. It flips up at the ends, feeling fun and flirty. The color is black with a subtle tinge of cherry red highlights to mimic the stripes of a raccoon tail.

When Poe sees it, he cancels our planned romantic dinner out to keep me in bed.

When the day of the wedding dawns, I’m covered in sweat and nerves.

We haven’t thought this out at all. It’s going to go bad. He’s making a mistake going all in with me. I need to save him from himself. The dress we bought from the fancy boutique in downtown LA is probably going to fall off of me at the last minute. I don’t have anything blue or old or a single brain cell. The cold feet are ice blocks of nerves that I’m not strong enough to lift.

Thank God for Grace at that moment. She’s the only reason I didn’t run for my life.

She handed me a blue garter belt, her mom’s old engagement ring, fixed my hair and makeup, and ignored my panicking with silent endurance.

Not a single "I told you so" was uttered; it was simply implied with knowing looks. This is real friendship at its finest.

She walks ahead of me through the hotel in my fancy white dress. It’s a slim mermaid tail with dazzling jewels all over it. Poe wasn’t allowed to see it because Grace insisted it was bad luck.

I’ve had enough of that to last me a lifetime.

I’m sweating and hoping my makeup stays on under the veil. I like raccoons and all, but I don’t want to have eyes to match on my wedding day.

What if he hates this dress?

My feet pause as Grace hands me Trouble. It has its own tux on, looking dashing with its ear and nose piercings. Grace smirks at me before she hurries to do her march down the winding path toward the gazebo where I’ll tie my life to Poe’s forever.

I miss her sanity already.

I peek out first to see how far the walk is and lose my breath.

Purple ribbons dance in the breeze coming off the ocean. I can see an arch of red carnations and pink camellias with flowing leaves trailing to the path. Deep love and longing screamed out in petals.

Poe is standing under it with a stiff posture that’s unnatural. He’s holding onto Racer. The plush is dressed up in a wedding gown that’s more ruffles than anything. It hides the tux he’s wearing from this angle.

Damon is at his side with a bright grin. Grace has already made her barefoot walk through the sand to stand on the other side, sharing his smug joy in watching us both fall apart.

There aren’t any seats set out for people. The big wedding I once imagined is nowhere in sight.

I’m thankful for that. I can’t imagine how stressed I would be if there were more people. Especially the drama the Broussards would bring. None of this would be good enough for them.

But this isn’t about them. It’s aboutus. Me and Poe.

It hurts that they aren’t here, but this is peaceful. Something I could never have hoped to get on such a stress-filled day.

Poe catches sight of me waiting nervously to begin my march. His eyes widen, and he swallows hard enough that I can see his Adam’s apple bob. He looked nervous until he saw me. Now, he looks like he’s ready to run at me and steal me away.

The thought makes me grin. The curve that he calls my chaotic smile. It’s the first one I’ve had for a while. The realization startles me.

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