Page 34 of Mated Exile

"I wasn't going to." Grudgingly, I tell him, "I wasn't sure you three had even talked about it."

"It became pretty clear when I smelled them on you, but even if I hadn't, the moment you disappeared I could see it in their faces. They tell me everything—whether I want to know or not, that's my role in the pack. I'm the shoulder to lean on," he says wearily, like he's never had a day of rest himself.

He isn't done, either. "So I know that no matter what you've done with the three of us, the only one youevercame close to actually mating with was Kieran, and if Finn hadn't stopped it you'd be bonded to him right now. Since we know you're a hybrid, there's a good chance you would have even survived it. You can't tell me he isn't the one you've been thinking about from the moment you found out the truth about yourself."

"I can tell you the exact opposite. I've barely thought of anything but my father's lies, and—and this thing inside me I don't quite understand."

"Then you'll be thinking about him soon enough, and I'm not going to stand between you."

Feeling peevish, I snap, "So you'd just step aside for him? Without even trying?"

"Yes," he says simply, eyes flaring. "Of course I would."

I shake my head. "I don't get it. When I knew you two, you were friends, but not like this. Now suddenly you'd sacrifice your own happiness for him."

"Things change," he snaps. "After everything that happened, you can't honestly expect me to walk away."

Leaping on his words, I ask, "What happened between you two?" His eyes widen, and I know I'm onto something. Pressing, I tell him, "Whatever it is, you can tell me. I won't go blabbing it around, if that's what you're afraid of."

"It's not that." His mouth tightens. "I shouldn't say, it isn't your business."

Stomping my feet, I tell him, "It is if it gets between you and me!"

"There isn't a you and me!" Roarke breathes in sharply, eyes flaring, jaw lined with tension. "There can't be, because I tookeverythingaway from him, I can't take you away."

Fifteen

Delilah

My stomach drops. "What do you mean?"

Looking panicked, Roarke shakes his head. "That came out wrong. I shouldn't have—I can't talk about it."

"Whatever happened between you two, justtell me.So I can understand."

Roarke looks down, tension in his forehead as if he's pained by something. "I can't say. Some things just have to stay between me and him."

"So that's it, then," I tell him bitterly. "We barely even figured out that we're attracted to each other, and you're throwing in the towel on us. Just like you're willing to throw in the towel on the pack."

He cuts his eyes at me. "It's not like I'd be giving up on a relationship that has any hope of becomingreal.Can you honestly say that when you picture stepping into the Mating Circle for the first time, you're able to eventhinkabout anyone but him? Even with the sly comments your mom made last night about wolf-witch hybrids having more than one mate, we both know your heart is with Kieran."

Blinking my eyes rapidly, I shake my head. I don't know how to explain this to him, how to make him believe that my heart isn't settled onanyone.Before I came home I thought I'd only ever love Kieran, but never actually be with him. It wasn't until I got here and saw how things had changed, and looked into the eyes of three entirely different, completely magnetic men, that I considered the idea of opening my heart to anyone else.

Something that, if I'm being honest, I never thought of when I was dating other men out there in the human world. Because no matter what, I knew it wouldn't be atruebond. The kind you grow over time, built on top of friendship and shared vulnerability, woven through with fate but resting on a foundation of something stronger.

"No one has my heart," I tell Roarke shakily, reaching out to push him towards the shopping center, aware suddenly that we've been having this conversation in a mostly-deserted parking lot that's nevertheless public. "I wish you'd wake up and realize that, because maybe if I got to see the version of you that lives for something besides martyrdom, I'd know if we could ever have anything real. If I could ever have a mate who was once myclosest friendbut never the boy who broke my heart. I guess you won't even try."

He winces, reeling back from me, his eyes wide. In a rough voice he murmurs, "Delilah."

"Don't." I shake my head, inhaling and glancing at the parking space a few rows down as an SUV pulls into it. "You've made yourself clear: you're stepping aside like some kind of noble self-sacrificing fool and completely ignoring any chemistry between us in favor of pushing me towards your best friend. Don't think that means I'll wind up with him, Roarke. You could sacrifice everything between us fornothing."

Staring at me, he quietly asks, "Would our friendship really be nothing?"

At his words I instantly soften, remembering so many moments in the woods, by the clear river water, near the edges of the lake, in my father's backyard—catching tadpoles and chasing fireflies, shivering in the cold rain and wrinkling my nose as he threw his coat over my shoulders, its boyish smell cloying. Now he smells like citrus and cloves, more man than anything, but I'll always see that beanpole boy when I look at him.

"Friendship I can take," I tell him, even though the loss of the somethingmorewe could have stings me. Despite the fact that I've only recently woken up to the possibility, it felt like a dream to even consider it. "Just promise me that you won't whip it out and start a measuring contest with Finn."

He shoots me an incredulous look. "And wound his pride forever? I wouldn't even consider it."

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