Page 5 of Becoming Monsterous

Suddenly the warrior woman won't look into my eyes. She stares down at her hands instead, wringing them together in a strangely self-conscious way. I'm so used to her being confident and self-assured that it takes me a while to figure out why she's acting this way.

She's ashamed.

And of course she is. If she lied to me about her consciousness, that means that she's been capable of possessing me this whole time and subverting my will.

Just like Aphrodite.

Chapter4

Ellie

Medusa's snakes churn around her head nervously. A few of them stretch their necks out towards me and test the air with their tongues. They're waiting for my reaction; the truth is, so am I.

I should feel angry. Betrayed. Frustrated.

And I do, more than a little. Just like I felt when I discovered that my triumvirate was keeping so much from me. But—I also feel more than a little relieved.

Because if Medusa's consciousness is still around, that means I'm not dead yet. Maybe she can guide me somehow, even help me take my body back.

Besides, if she wanted to possess me fully, she had her chance. She could've been reborn inside my body and steered the ship just as Aphrodite is right now. Instead she choose to hide—from me, and from summoners like Lise, who combed over my body and mind more than once.

Even the Magistrate, who came by to peer into my head, poke me with strange objects, and blow odd powders at me, wasn't able to see Medusa's consciousness hiding in the back of my mind.

However Medusa managed to hide from them, she saved herself by doing so. Which means she's risking it all to bring me here and tell me the truth, since I could rat her out at any moment—assuming, of course, I'm ever able to use my own mouth to speak again.

"I'm glad you did it," I tell her, which makes her look up at smile warmly at me. "This way we get to talk. And maybe, to strategize?"

I can't disguise the hope in my voice.

Medusa responds to it immediately, reaching out to grab my hand. She squeezes my fingers and nods once, firmly, a warrior's mischievous glint in her eyes. With her free hand, she holds her palm up and curls her fingers around empty air.

"Watch."

I stare at the gesture for a moment, uncertain what she wants me to see.

Then I blink, and there's a bright, glimmering ball of energy hovering in Medusa's outstretched hand. Sparks of light race across its surface, giving the impression that it's constantly moving even though the sphere itself stays put.

"This is my consciousness." I stare at her, and she smiles at my confusion. "Yes, the projection you're sitting next to isalsomy consciousness. But really it's more of a memory. This sphere represents all of me—or at least, the monstrous side of me."

"The monster?" I blink. "How so? I thought you were a goddess now."

"Yes, but I wasn't born one. Just as you were born human, I was born a child of the gods. When I ascended to godhood, the monster within me remains. And when the summoners killed me, they killed the deity—but the monster clung to life for a moment more. This is that moment."

She takes my hand, turns my palm over, and gently drops the ball of energy. It zips towards me and hovers just above my skin, its energy making all the hairs on my arm stand on end.

Staring into its surface, I can see Medusa, like a tiny figure on a TV screen. She wields a sword in battle, spinning on her heel and roaring as she thrusts out with its blade. Behind her, an enemy approaches—and when she wheels to face him, he turns to stone beneath her gaze.

"If I destroy it, my powers will be yours." I jerk my eyes up to Medusa, hearing a deep timbre of sadness in her voice. "Not borrowed, butfullyyours. As if you were born with them. Using your monstrous powers—yourmonsterousside—will be as natural as breathing or walking."

"Destroy it? As in...?"

"Die." She says the word so simply, but her snakes reveal her tension as they wind tightly around her neck, comforting her. "Or, die as much as a monster can. I don't know what will happen to me if I destroy this last bit of my conscious will, but I do know what will happen to you: you'll have a fighting chance."

I look down into the sphere, and see one of the other gorgons in its surface. She smiles and throws her arm around Medusa's shoulders, their snakes twining together as they share memories of the battlefield.

Destroying this feels like the world's greatest act of betrayal.

"Is that my only option?"

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